I only have two dresses to finish up, and both can be done in less than an hour. I thought I had three prom dresses, and it turned out I had 5. I do believe things have sex when I am not looking and then they multiply.
Sewed until 5:30 yesterday and then went with my neighbor to her Parkinson's exercise group. It was fun. She is supposed to go three times a week. I agreed to go with her on Monday's. She can only do 1/2 the class as she gets too tired. Then we went and had milkshakes on the way home to reward ourselves for our hour of work. Why I never lose weight.
I have made a big, long list of everything that I need to pack and everything I need to take care of before I leave. It is way too long. But is must be done.
Had a wedding dress picked up yesterday and of course one came in also. I also have one that is done and ready, but they will probably pick up when I get back. Which is fine. When I get home, there are 4 dresses for June left and I plan on getting those done right away. It is so nice to be able to get things out in a timely manner. Having Sissie's help makes so much difference. I am actually ahead of the game savings wise with her helping me, now how does that work out? I have no idea.
If we can get an address for Linda, I would like us to all send cards and perhaps flowers. We cannot set up a go fund me, as this is a sucking chest wound of a problem. It is never ending. But we can let her know we love her and are thinking of her. If Tommy did not put the house in her name or leave her something to help support her, she will have to sell her piece of land where her house was and go into a care facility. That does not mean that we can't be in contact with her and still see how she is doing. I don't mean to sound harsh, but go fund me accounts are for specific needs, not lifetime needs.
Okay now I will get to my sewing for the day and the never ending trying to get out of town list!
God is good
Kim
Hello! You are such a good friend and neighbor. I have never heard of a Parkinson's Exercise group but it sounds like a great idea. I am sorry about your friend. Have a nice evening, my friend.
ReplyDeleteKim, you can email me and I will send you her address.
ReplyDeleteI would love to be able to send her a card. I have really been worried about her!
DeleteWhat you said is not harsh, just the facts. It could be a tricky situation for Linda. Praying there was a plan in place for her future. I love the idea of sending her cards!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you are kicking rear in the sewing room... good job!
it's not true that go fund me cannot be used for a scenario like linda's. That said I do NOT advocate for it. At all. Linda has means she needs to manage and get in check. She also has children she needs to make amends to. If she is not capable of managing her affairs up until this point, there is NO way she will manage even obtaining or managing go fund me type funds. She previously had a go fund me for repairs, and then they were not done, so i do wonder where that money went...... Cards are nice, and i too have Tommy's house address. His last name was Neel. you can also google it. We don't know yet, if she is still in his house though or can get to his mail. I assume she can though.
ReplyDeleteI gathered from reading her blog that she was a hoarder with a shopping addiction. She should have been able to save her social security while living rent free for years. But probably spent it all at Belk’s.
DeleteI do think some hoarding. Sadly. The storage unit she had filled with junk may answer that. The whole thing is so sad. And I wish she had things in order or her kids involved to get her sorted. Awful place to be. Sadly I stopped donating to food bank after I learned how much she took and had on hand food wise. Anyway - the past is the past and I hope she gets it together. I’d be very curious to see how this gets worked out.
DeleteI am at our church on Wednesdays when our drive by food bank is operational. I see the hundreds of cars in line for food, and figure if a few abuse the system it is still worth donating for the hundreds who depend on it.
DeleteI give directly to people I know in need. Pp just turned me off the whole thing.
DeleteI wonder why no obituary is showing up for a Thomas or Tommy Neel.
DeleteIt could very well be that the person in charge of the arrangements asked the establishment they hired to not be publish an obituary anywhere. There is no requirement to do so. The funeral home is only legally required to report to the state vital records and social security. There is no requirement to publish an obituary, and, in fact, loves ones can request they NOT do so. Sad it sounds, there ARE people who scour obituaries, both print and online, with the intent of fleecing survivors.
Delete-Meg B.
Yes, I would like to be included in the cards for Linda. Thank you for doing this for us, Kim.
ReplyDeleteYou are kicking butt with the sewing. I always seem to have a huge packing list, so it is nice to have someone who is the same.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
Agree with anonymous on Linda. Sad as I am she had lost what seemed to be her only friend, I am not surprised, after reading her for years, it turned out this way. I could say more, but it would be, as you said, unkind. But I think a greater unkindness would be to enable her to continue to wield her power of dependency when she clearly had means she just refuses to manage. That said, her street address at Tommy’s is easy enough to find. Also, she once posted her PO Box on her blog shortly after her house collapsed, but I am not sure if she still has it.
ReplyDelete-Meg B.
I used to have the address in Hueytown but deleted it a while back. I could probably find it online if I looked hard enough.
ReplyDeleteI know she has a P.O. box in Cullman but have no idea what it is.
I found the address (Tommy's house) online and will send it to anyone who needs/wants it.
DeleteHi Anne. Is it Hueytown or Bessemer? The zip says for both towns? I found his address based on the name and the zip but confused on the town. Was going to send Linda a card but ai know her as PP so I guess that is what I will use and hopefully it gets there
DeleteLinda Neel will get it here.
DeleteLinda neel is not her name so don’t do that. Just use the zip give online and it will get to his house. The street is in besssemae.
DeleteThe House is in Hueytown
DeleteLinda, sorry for the loss. Did he pass in his home? Did Tommy’s will pass the house on to you? If so will you sell and find a place you can manage, or plan to stay in the home? Best of luck. Writing here since you don’t post anymore. Signed, Richie.
DeleteHe died in hospital, Richie. Thanks for asking. No one knows what will happen right now.
DeleteHow does no one know what will happen? Wills and estates are are matters. Whats the plan you and Tommy put in place?
DeleteLinda: don’t answer this question. Do not tell Internet folks what plans you and Tommy developed. While probate matters are public, there is a trend of filing fraudulent deeds by trolling Internet people, especially after a death. Just keep your mouth shut on the blogs. Talk to Legal Services or call the Birmingham bar. Don’t tell your business about all of this on your blog or on anyone else’s blog.
DeleteI hope Linda can land gently and on her feet. At her age I hate to think that she lives alone in a home where she cannot afford to stay there and has no connections with friends/family due to her own actions (or inactions) :(
ReplyDeleteI am not a hoarder, have no shopping addiction. I have no land, got no money from my house or lan.
ReplyDeleteTommy was not my only friend. They all died. He is the one who had no friends. Meg, you are about the nastiest, most judgmental person I know.
I was the "helper" that people came to for help. We gave away so much food that we paid for! Tommy was proud of what we could buy and give away.
in Cullman I was the person friends called for things they needed, like foam to make a bassinet mattress. It was not a hoard, just leftover from a project of mine. The same person borrowed my baby bed and the house burned.
Most of the stuff in my unit is boxed. The only junk is stuff guys decided I needed and picked up.
I could use a go fund me. I have really had no support at all.
Hey PP. so so sorry for your great loss. I found Tommy’s address based on the name info above but confused whether it is Bessemer or Hueytown mailing address. I am sending you a card there with a little cash. Sorry it is not more but with my middle kid my $$$$$$$ stays low. Want to send you a little though and let you know I am thinking of you. Much love and stay strong. Cindy in the South
DeleteCindy,
DeleteIt is hueytown, but mail will come addressed to Bessemer or Birmingham. Long ago, it was a Bessemer address, then Hueytown had a mail address. Someone forgot to change it over. It is so confusing. Thank you so much! I would really like to get some advice from you.
As long as you have a storage locker you are paying for and own a plot of land.STOP asking for money Linda. Just STOP. Get in an assisted living home. It’s time.
DeleteBecause of my employment I am in “special status”’and not allowed to give advice outside of the realm of my job. It is also against our personnel policy. However, you csn call Legal Services in Birmingham 205-338-3540. There is also apparently a Volunteer Lawyers Inc in Birmingham at 205-250-5198. I didn’t know about them until I googled and found it. You can also call Alabama State Bar at 334-269-1515 and ask for the pro bono legal help. You can also call the University of Alabama Law School and ask for free legal help through one of their clinics. The number for their free civil clinic is 205-348-4960.
DeleteOh sorry, I forgot to sign where I was giving you the numbers for free legal services. It was NOT me who made the comment between my two comments about your asking for money. People can be so awful on the internet.. I am so so sorry you are going through this. Cindy in the South
DeleteJust to be clear, the person who made the unsigned storage locker comment and the assisted living comment under my post was NOT me. Cindy in the South
DeleteCindy, I would not have suspected you would say that. I don't understand why someone would say I got money and did not get work done on my house. Long ago, someone said I had a find house that was not shabby and needed no repairs. They were too stupid to understand how to use the internet to find my house. Another time someone told me that someone emailed her that I had money and lied about needing money. I put that on my blog and several other people said they had received the same type emails slandering me. I figured out who it was. Strange. Thanks.
DeleteThis above was Linda.
DeleteLinda I find it so rich you choose now to say that other people are “too stupid” to use the internet. Linda. Learn to be nice.you have trouble accomplishing things because you are very often nasty to others. What you put out there comes back to you. And nasty comments about someone are laughable coming from you as you are not organized enough (too stupid? To use your awful insult?) to get your life in order.
DeleteLinda: people don’t understand the sheer difficulty of of changing Medicaid/ social security from this state to another state, I think one of your kids lives in NYC and has no room for you in a tiny apt, another lives in Texas and switching states dealing with Texas is another level of complication. Plus, some of our kid’s husbands/wives don’t want a mil there! There are a variety of reasons when you divorce how parental alienation from ex spouse etc., other issues come into play. Others who have not lived it don’t understand it. As far as the trolls go, do they really think you would be living where you live if you had another choice? They do not care to understand. They also don’t understand the difference in the rules involving assisted living and nursing homes. As far as food banks go, they usually have extra here, or did, and were begging folks to take it. I don’t understand the level of animosity towards you. Much love. Be careful! Obviously I am very distrustful of ppl bc of my job. I have seen folks who have had internet “friends” travel multiple states to do harm to them. Just keep your doors locked and phone nearby. Cindy in the South
DeleteCindy in the South,
DeleteI can assure you, after reading and commenting all these years, I wish Linda the best, and certainly wish her no ill. That said, it seems that she hasn’t done that which she needs to do, to keep herself safe. I especially noticed this when she refused to cooperate with home health. (Ie: I tried to tell her insurance won’t pay for them if you show you are out and about proving you can get yourself to out patient care, and she responded that was a “stupid rule.”) I confess to having felt frustrated when, despite having soliciting and receiving sound advice from many, she seemed to turn around only to disregard the advice and act with folly, exacerbating the situation. Then, when those same commenters try to steer her back on course, she takes offense and calls them names.
But your advice about being careful IS sound. Nothing so bad scammers can’t try to make worse. That said, I think perhaps some people feel scammed by Linda with the last Go Fund Me, among other things? The problem with asking for assistance is that often the people being asked rightly feel they are entitled to some sort of accountability, or action plan, so they don’t feel like they are just enabling bad choices.
Linda, PLEASE, I have been saying this for YEARS. Contact your municipality’s elder services. If you don’t know who they are, go to the library, nearest firehouse, or call your city hall and ask. These are services our tax dollars pay to provide and you have a right to access them.
-Meg B.
Meg B: Not referring to you. I don’t find your remarks concerning and you have the guts to sign them. Cindy in the South
DeleteCindy no one is trying to harm Linda. Lol. Have you not read anything where it’s people trying to help a woman who refuses to set herself up for success? It’s ironic that you you warn Linda that it’s can be dangerous when in the same breathe you scold someone for not signing a name and maintaining their own annonimoty. Lollll.
DeleteAnonymous. Decent folks use an anonymous signage and take ownership for the stuff they say, like Meg B., even if it is a bit tart. She owns it. She is also trying to be helpful. What is going on with Linda is not about you. So quit trying to make it about you.This is about Linda and is about her safety. The whole world can easily look up her address and that is not good.’ You must have no idea what unknown criminals do to vulnerable people they can easily find on the internet. There is no “lol” in anything that is going on with her and your “lol” about being an anonymous hateful troll has nothing to do with her. She does need to be careful. Cindy in the South
ReplyDeleteNasty nasty Cindy. No one is coming for Linda. What would they even want??? You are spreading hate and fear to feel important. It’s not about you. It’s about Linda having created a hot mess for herself. And turned down solutions all along the way.
DeleteDear Anonymous: unfortunately, internet scammers get into elderly folks bank accounts all the time and steal their small social security check money, and what little money they have. Also, unfortunately, knowing a vulnerable person’s address increases the chance of break ins. I have handled murder cases where someone was shot and killed over $20. I have prosecuted thousands of criminal cases over the past 30 plus years, and tried over 30 jury trials mostly murder or capital murder cases. She can, of course, ignore my advice and take yours and your helpful comments.
DeleteCindy in the South
Cindy,
DeleteI have a sneaking suspicion I know who anonymous is. If so, she has a history of vile comments. NOTHING about this situation is funny. Sad, pathetic, and infuriatingly preventable yes.Funny, no. Not one bit.
I know I sound tart, but the anger stems from an otherwise intelligent, reasonably well educated woman seeming to enjoy the role she has created for herself. Years ago when her house collapsed (due to, as I saw it) her own inaction she said she couldn’t sell her lot because her ex husband would be entitled to some of the proceeds and, the student loan people would “have their hand out.” So this is a woman who has a history of fiscal dereliction. Now she claims she has no land? Well meaning people tire of the inconsistencies. It’s insulting. So I do get Anonymous’ irritation but not her nastiness.
That said, Linda, among other things, needs to get legal help too… and elder services offer free consultations. But if her past history is any indication, she will find a reason to not do that, and claim victim. THAT is what is so infuriating! It’s the same pattern over and over, almost pathological. :head shake: Ah well.
-Meg B .
Meg B. Excellent suggestion on the Council for the Elderly and Aging, I am not sure what it is called here. I had not thought of that. I am wondering if DHR here has any programs available to her bc they have an elderly dept for Medicaid recipients. She could also call 211 maybe for resources. The local Birmingham Bar will sometimes have folks available for pro bono work for Medicaid recipients.. Hopefully Linda will make contact with the Council on the Elderly you suggested and the other numbers on another reply here for Legal Services, the law school clinic, etc.She may have to try several times over several days to get through to any of them. Cindy in the South
DeleteWell, yes, those services are not very fast to respond because they are so very overworked. But, when I mentioned elder services some time ago, for help with various things, she claimed no such agencies exist.
DeleteI wish, l(as you probably do too) I could wave a wand and make it all better, but I can’t. And anyway, when has magical thinking done anybody a lick of good. All I can do is keep saying the things we are saying and hope she has ears to listen. The rest is on her.
-Meg B
Meg: United Way has an Aging and Disability Center located on 8th Ave South in Birmingham, AL according to Google. Cindy in the South
Delete1-800-AGE-LINE is apparently the central number, Linda, for the Aging line for resources through United Way in Birmingham. Cindy in the South
ReplyDeleteCindy,
ReplyDeleteYou seem to be the only person who sees things as they are. I called one age line many times and got no help. I am using a different agency and have think I will get help, at least it is promised. Tommy's death is so stressful, yet it is a great pile on to make sure this is all my fault. I do know who one person spreading all this is. She told people she met me and does not like me.