Our sewer line has collapsed. This is why we have all the build up in the pipes. Nothing really drains or it drains very slowly. Our driveway is starting to sink in one spot. A crew is coming out today to ultra sound the cement and depth the line. It will be between 5-9 thousand dollars. So add that to the 3-4 we already have agreed to and I am back in debt big time. I will not be able to get the truck paid off by Christmas, nor the car by next May. I just took one old huge step backwards. It is like all the work I have done all year is gone, poof up in smoke. I am so discouraged and angry. Why? Why can't things just be easy? Why can I not get out of debt? Some one needs to throw me a bone.
Last night I was trying to put a bed ruffle on the spare bedroom bed. I was struggling and Hubby came in and asked if I wanted help. I never ask for help, because it has to be on his terms, when he wants it done, or it is done poorly and I get frustrated, so I though oh quit struggling and let him lift the mattress. He hurks it up way to fast and high, hits the expensive triple matted picture on the wall that goes with a matched set and it crashes to the floor and breaks. I started screaming and swearing at the top of my lungs, He went outside and shut the door and then went to bed at 8:30. He had better be afraid, because even though I know he did not do it on purpose, I have a very short chain right now. He will not be the one trying to figure out how to pay for all of this and he will not work any harder. I will however. For a long, long time.
I know this sounds spoiled and awful, but I just want to be taken care of. I don't want to work anymore. I have worked 3-5 jobs for almost 40 years and even when I get close, it evaporates. I want to be a kept woman. I want someone to take care of me. I don't want to work. I want to stay home and putter and do hobbies and play bridge. I want to be married to a doctor so I never have to work outside my home and I can spend what I want within reason. I am so tired. I just want to give up. I can't start crying because I have another surgery tomorrow and I don't want to inflame my eyes.
I am just so mad. This will never, ever end. I don't think I have what it takes.
Have a better day than I am going to have.....