Monday, So much stress, but relief on horizon

     I have been trying to live the schedule we will be living in the near future, by sewing three days a week and then driving to Spokane and staying for 4 days and then coming back to sew.  Realize that I will be sewing in my Sisters dining room when we actually have to be out of the house.  People have been really nice on the phone and I just explain what is going on.  However I had 4 phone calls and 3 clients with in a 1/2 hour period right at 10 this morning when I open.  To say I am busier is an understatement.

     Monday -Wednesday have been very busy here.  It is not just the sewing but the influx of clients.  Also last week I had a really hard time when I got back just adjusting to what had to be done next.  When I sew through out the week I keep a pretty good tally on what is next.  Coming back after 4 days and I was like, "What, where do I start?"  This made me realize that I have to really be organized (not my strongest suit, Sissy got that gene) and make sure I know what I need to start on right away on Monday's.

     Last Wednesday when I left I set things out in the order that I have to get them done. I did not want to relive the panic I had last week figuring out where to start knowing I only had three days to complete many items. I have to admit though I don't want to that I had a slight panic attack on my way up to Spokane last Wednesday evening.  There was a dead deer on the side of the road in broad daylight and I told myself I needed to watch for deer.  Where we live in the west we all know that high alert is necessary for these poor creatures, but even with that many cars are totaled and many animals killed.  It is just something we live with. No big deal this was just a one time trip up right?  NO this was every week perhaps for months.  Also add the winter driving and the slick roads and the deer on a weekly basis.  I actually had to pull over because I could not breath.

     I pride myself on being a Stoic, able to handle just about anything that is thrown my way.  I am very pragmatic, but just the thought of having to do this for weeks on end threw me. Can I do this?  Well of course I can my pragmatic self told me.  But my real brain went into a nose dive.

     Before I left on Wednesday Hubs and I had been fasting and praying about the house.  The only real down side to the house was we would have to borrow or take money out of our investments.  This is money we saved for fun and travel and toys and perhaps a cabin.  Even without me sewing we have more than enough to pay our bills. Sewing has allowed me to get out of debt and pay off our house much faster than we would have just living on our income.  Hubs has retirement, his SSI and my disability income which pays for my insurance and meds.

segue:      I forgot to tell you guys (like I have this fan base just waiting for any news, *snort*) when I went to the doctor (specialist) last week I am in remission!  I have not hit remission status for over 9 years.  those were lovely words to hear.  I have fought for this for a long time.  I was doing well but still not remission numbers and then with mom and her death I took a nose dive into the dark waters of RA.I wish I could say what triggers this disease to jump and flare, but I can't.  I just know it is always lurking ready to spring.

     When I arrive in Spokane I called Hubs and we decided to put in a offer on the house we both liked.  He liked it much better than I did, but I was satisfied with it.  We offered less than they were asking and just hoped for the best.  After 36 hours we found out our offer was accepted.   So we have a house.  Not the house I would have chosen, not the place in town I would have even thought about buying, but I am happy, Hubs is happy.  It is a beautiful place.  2430 Seaport drive Lewiston Idaho.  Don't be shocked at the price we did no
t pay that.

     So I am taking care of Schmills and we are having a good time.  Doing a little cooking, cleaning, sewing for new baby, taking the dog for walks, just enjoying the grandma thing and all of a sudden my damn right wrist decides it is going to go bonkers.  I had not been doing anything to aggravate it.  Not over doing anything, like painting, or scrubbing, it just blew.  I thought well take some ibuprofen and it will release.  NO! it clamped up and I could hardly open or close my hand.  I went to bed just sure that it would be gone in the morning.  No!  I had to admit that this was a flare and a bad one at that. I still had to drive to B's (youngest) and finish her nursery, with one hand and not my dominate hand.  This does not sound like someone in remission.   I was devastated.

     Now you can have a joint flare and still be in remission, you just have to be conscience of what could have caused the flare.  The only thing I could blame it on was stress. Just this new schedule and driving back and forth, not knowing, fear, angst, trying to do too much in the three days I am home.  Just not being able to relax.  I took more ibuprofen when I left for B's on Saturday and by the time that I got there my wrist was okay.  I have not had a problem since.  This alone told me we had made the right decision.  Stress is a big source of this disease.  I will always have stress, but knowing that I can eliminate some of it, (moving is stressful) by having a place to go helps.

     Sluggy do you still love me?

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.

Kim