Cheryl and Cheryl's frugal corner had the best post today. Go read it. I really needed those soft spoken (I assume) words, of just be.
You all know this brain rarely slows down, except when I hit the wall of exhaustion, or my body betrays me. Which it does more often than I would like.
Cheryl has put me in perspective, just for today and maybe for a longer day, (like tomorrow).
There are so many things that are pressing me most of the time. Right now, there are many things that are probably important. But what is most important? Dump it all Kim. What is most important?
Cheryl lost her beloved husband almost three years ago and coming back from that is dang hard. In fact, you never really come back, you survive. Your brain is constantly seeking for a place to rest free from pain and you just can't find it. It takes months to find a very small spot free from pain and then you visit that spot. After months and years that spot grows to a place where you can live. But you better not leave that place. If you do the pain comes rushing back and then you have to search for the spot again. If that spot is not big enough to find easily you will be stuck in the pain zone. This is grief. It is soul sucking.
She talked or wrote about looking for sunshine. Now my problems are not grief. Our problems are our problems. We each make them as big or as small as we like according to our mindset. It is very easy for all of us to overload. This can be caused by grief, panic attacks, worries about kids, health, money, the state of the world. Hell, I had myself jumping off a cliff a few weeks ago because to Ukraine. Just the pain those people are enduring causes me great suffering. How do we cope? What helps?
Well, I have a strong faith and I do put it in the hands of the Lord, as I am helpless in so many ways. I also blog and take the advice of people who have a like mindset. I do for others as in service we are closest to Christ. Today after reading her blog and pondering for a moment, I decided to brain dump. What exactly is your problem today, Kim? Or what are these things so pressing you are in a tizzy?
Well, Sissie called and I talked her off a ledge, which she does for me all the time. Sisters are the best. If anyone needs a sister I am here.
SO here is my dump in no particular order. Just things that are weighing on me that need to be done. But I can only do one thing at a time. Which is the most important right now? Is there one thing that is more important than the others? Like do I have to go potty? That would be pretty important with my 5 baby bladder. Okay TMI
1. fold two baskets of laundry
2. get something out for dinner pork chops/salad
3. taxes need to be in by the 31st
4. call a schedule a specialist appointment
5. hand hem a pair of pants for tomorrow pickup
6. call three clients
7. go with Lil Sis to get some sun (tanning bed for her psoriasis, mine for deep tissue pain)
8. make dinner for hubs
9. get the ironing done, the basket now has its own time zone
10. lose some weight before Sissie sees me in April and makes fun of me.( where did I hide those chocolate Easter eggs?)
11. make cookies to mock cookies due for wedding in April
12. make a mock up cake for wedding in April
13. seedlings for lettuce need transplanting
14. flower boxes need to be emptied and refilled with fresh dirt (missionaries are scheduled for Sat morning to do this)
15. get Lil sis to dye my hair set up for two weeks from now
16. go in for blood work
17. take a few things to good will
18. check grocery adds for sales that are worth it tomorrow.
19. pickup prescription that is out.
20. pay bills for the month of April
21. see what April budget looks like and where money needs to be shifted, will there be enough money? Always another worry.
22. Get Bank o' Sluggy a check for Panama trip.
23. pay Hub's hearing aid bill by the 31st
24. Now consider the shop, what can you get done today?
25. get 7 boxes of books sorted to take to son in law
See all that is swirling around in Kim's head?
It is enough to make one nuts. All these things constantly eating at your conscience. My brain tells me to do them all, all at once. I can't. I have a tendency to do things that are not important because I don't slow down enough to really think things through. It is a problem I have. Sissie got the organizational gene. I got the get it done gene in no particular order.
Because my mind is full of things I think I have to do right now, I can get really blue, or overwhelmed. THAT IS WHY LISTS ARE SO IMPORTANT TO ME. Put my brain into order. Keep the bad thoughts out. The thoughts that tell me I am unorganized, and I can't do this. The thought that everything has to be done right now and that I am behind and will never catch up. Thoughts that bring me down and cause anxiety. Anxiety brought on by a brain that doesn't focus well on one thing but wants to focus on everything.
So, I am taking Cheryl's advice and moving slowly through this list. Well, let's be honest, I will never move slowly, but I can sit and go over this list and prioritize, and then slowly do what has to be done to eradicate the most important things that will help to bring peace to my mind. Will I get everything done today? No, that is impossible and I don't need to, no matter what the old brain is telling me. I don't need to feel bad that I can't get it all done. I am not less of a person, the world will not come to an end.
DO you ever get overwhelmed, with feeling and emotions and have toos? What do you do? Will a brain dump help? Will slowing down and looking at a priority list help?
Let's see what I can do.
While I was posting Hub's called and asked me to sort the books with him, then he took the ones that were not saleable to the dump. That is done. My part was about 10 minutes. It had to be done and it is done. That is off my brain. There!
I will have to go to Joanns this afternoon, so I will combine paying for the hearing aids and dropping things off at goodwill and picking up my prescription in that trip. Those will be off the brain.
In addition, I have constant interruptions to deal with that throw me off track. Hubs just needed help cleaning the stain off his hands. He needed mineral spirits and he is not allowed to work with these kinds of things without me. He has a hard time with caps (remember the juice?) and I just went out and poured a small amount into his hands so he could thoroughly clean them and then took dish soap out to wash up under the hose. I have to regroup and get back to my priorities.
I will call the three clients, as getting things out of the shop is always important and will not take long, then hand hem the doctor's pants and again a short, sweet job that is off the list and he is flying out tomorrow and needs the suit.
I think the most important thing right now is the taxes, so to hell with everything else. I am going to spend a few hours and get those done. Then if I don't get the seedlings transplanted, they will become top heavy and start to die. Those are the most important things. The rest is gravy for right now. Yes, I will have to stop and cook dinner and do a few odds and ends, but those laundry baskets can sit there. The ironing can continue to multiply. I don't need to worry about these other things today. Slowly, I will keep my thoughts at bay and get the things done that will make the most difference. The things that are causing the most anxiety.
Thank you for the brain dump.
Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.
Kim
You have no idea what you said means to me. Thank you.
ReplyDeletePriorities - that is life. We find those and the rest just happens. There are no set reasons or amount of reasons that people lose their sunshine. What makes us glow from within, is so very personal - yet it happens to each of us.
Breathe, slow down and MAKE sunshine!!!!!!!
I'm a detail person, so I hear ya on getting bogged down ("lost in the weeds") with the small stuff. I am also a list-maker.
ReplyDeleteI use the perspective trick to push me out of the hamster wheel. How much will this matter in an hour? A day? A week? 3 months? 6 months? A year? That helps me take a step back and calm down.
Hang in there, you can do it!
That is a great way to think. I am going to use this. I also am detail oriented, which is why I was in high demand to finish Musicals and Ballets. I went in a cleaned and finished things before they opened.
DeleteI'm glad you did a mind dump. It's well needed and deserved. I agree doing things for others is helpful, but can be overwhelming to hold do many people up if you don't get the same when you need it. Remember people can lift you up too.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right, and I need to allow more of that.
DeleteA brain dump? Maybe when I get my brain back.
ReplyDeleteIs yours lost?
DeleteWhen my brain gets too full of what needs to be done, it tosses and turns all day and all night. I think I need a brain dump as well. Hope you managed to get the taxes done.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
I did with alot of hoops to jump through.,
DeleteIt seemed that you needed to brain dump everything that was bothering you, just to get it off your mind and put it on paper where you could see it :) Near the end of your post, you began to automatically decide what needed to be done in order after all: sort the books, go to Joann's, combine a trip to pay for hearing aids, pick up a prescription and go to Goodwill - that was a few things off your list. Then you decided you'd call some clients, hem some pants that needed done ASAP, deal with the taxes and make something for dinner. You also decided what you DIDN'T need to do right away - the laundry or iron.
ReplyDeleteYou prioritized what you decided needed to be done and did it...and that's really all anybody can actually do day by day.
I can only suggest what I find helps me, and that is about following a certain routine. I get up, have my coffee, and then decide what's for dinner and take the necessary items from the freezer. If I have phone calls and appointments to book, I'll do them first thing. If I have to run errands: the grocery store, bank, library etc., I try to figure out what day is best to do them and then I'll try to lump them altogether. Housework is a routine as well. It's easier now because there's only 3 of us in the house unlike when my kids were little and it was a constant upkeep. Now I do the bathrooms, kitchen and vacuum on Mondays right after the hectic weekends when people are in and out of my house. I dust on Tuesday and do general tidy-up of items. Baking is done anytime throughout the week - it's not a set day. The bathrooms and vacuuming are done again on Thursday and laundry is done Friday and Saturday. The kitchen is always being wiped down etc., so other than Monday when it gets a "deep" clean, I don't have another specific day for it.
These are my prioritized routines that I can control and it calms me knowing that they'll get done. They change with the seasons, for example gardening will be added. The unexpected gets thrown in there too, but at least there's some semblance of constancy. So perhaps the idea of making your list, prioritizing it and creating some sort of routine may help. All the best.
You have a very peaceful well-organized life, I need to take a page out of your book.
DeleteI'm also a list maker and frequently do a brain dump in my journal just to get it all out of my head and onto paper. It works for me.
ReplyDeleteI'm focusing on finding a cleaning routine that works for. That is still a work in progress. I think I need one for summer and one for winter since so much changes with the seasons. I may be overthinking though.
Sometimes happiness is something that we just have to choose to be. It doesn't come naturally all the time.
Have a great Wednesday Kim!!
That is very true. Even in the worst of circumstances you can choose to be happy.
DeleteI do a mini routine, get up, have a cup of coffee, start laundry, have second cup of coffee, turn grow lights upstairs and grow light cart on, have 3rd and final cup of coffee (or I drink too much of it) and put laundry on drying rack or clothes line. I do what ever is on the priority list I make up on Sunday. Hubby does a list also but list it as A,B C. A is most important, c can wait. I star what is most important.
ReplyDeleteI just need to do more of that. I just have so many interruptions, and then I wander off track.
DeleteI do the same thing ! I have found out that I spend more time on thinking about what needs done. When I do it it is off my mind and I realized my thoughts make the job worse. Just do it and don't think about it that is freedom!
ReplyDeleteI am alone so I can do things as I feel like doing them. I do what I call commercial cleaning, when there are commercials on TV, I get up and start a task. Once I get going I spend about 30 minutes cleaning, doing laundry and prep for cooking. It is amazing what you can get done in half an hour. Just for a few minutes, actually commercial time, I can unload the dishwasher, change sheets, start a load of laundry etc. Just taking things in small bites does not overwhelm. You would be pleased at the end of the day when you get so much done with what seems as so little effort. Mind you, I am retired so I can take my time. Don't always feel so driven. I keep the front room clean and dusted at all times, the guest bath, kitchen ready. If I have an unexpected guest, things are comfortable to invite them in. Decide what is important to you and the rest will fall into place. My biggest challenge are my dogs, they are good at bringing things in on fur, leaves and dirt. The floors are a daily thing but for all the joy they bring it is worth it. I try not to brain dump. If I do that, I make myself crazy. Life at this stage is to be relaxed, to enjoy the blessings of your hard work and the gifts that God as made for each of us.
ReplyDelete