- I run a sewing shop that is open out of my basement 5 days a week. It is 10:28 and I have already had 3 customers and 5 phone calls.
- I own and operate a dance studio that puts on 3 major productions a year, I teach 5 nights a week.
- I help run a college program for dance 8 hours a week.
- I clean a large bank six days a week and sub extra hours when needed.
- I choreograph and costume and direct 4 musicals a year for local schools.
We were hopelessly in debt and working this hard has really paid off. We have a long way to go. I think the plan I set up was so stringent and over zealous that my mind set twisted and I just keep taking on more and more work. I realize that I will never truly slow down until I have to,but I am over doing it on a daily basis. As long as we don't add new debt, this plan will work, it will just take longer and that is okay.
I have been really trying to help B our youngest with college expenses, we did not allow her to take out very many school loans. So now I am trying to work extra to keep my budget the same as last year and I can't do it. She may have to borrow another $2000.00 a year or figure a way to earn more money, but I can't work any more.
Out My Window: I think we will try to get out and trim some bushes this weekend, fall is so beautiful, I think it is my favorite season.
My confession: I went to the doctor 3 weeks ago and he has known me for 15 years personally and been my specialist in the valley for 5 years. He told me that the lab work is coming back indicating full disability within 5 years. He wants me to start disability papers. I knew it was coming, I can feel it in my joints and my exhaustion levels. I just did not want to admit it. I am in constant pain, some times quite severe, but because I am a dancer I ignore it. To dance is pain. Scary, I just can't see myself disabled. He told me to quit running 10 years ago. I quit last year, so maybe I can ignore this diagnosis for another 9 years. But I do know this it is taking it's tole. I am not fooling any one but myself. Work is my life. So I will continue for as long as I can, and I will get out of debt. But I am not going to take on any new large projects. Daughter has agreed to shoulder most of the Jr. High Play.
I am trying not to feel like a failure, I am just slowing down.
Have a great and productive day!