Sunday, February 16, 2014

Sunday, Conversation with Hubby,

     So I slept until 9:30 Saturday morning, yes it was lazy but who cares?  I got up went down stairs in my stripped peppermint fleece pj's and wool socks and sat on the sofa drinking a diet coke (aka Mormon coffee).  Hub's comes in from taking the dog for a walk and he is out of breath and tired.  He collapses on the chair and we watch some TV.  Finally at 11:00 he asks,  "Are you going to do anything today?"

     It was not so much what he said but the way he said it.  I got up slowly and went upstairs grabbed two jell cap advil and then came down and got another diet coke and plopped my peppermint stripped butt back on the sofa.  At noon he says, " Well I sat down here because I had taken the dog for a long walk and I was out of breath."

      I had no reply for this other than to think, is this a contest?  After the advil took affect about 20 minutes later, I went upstairs, changed clothes, emptied all the trash cans and started the 4 loads of laundry that needed to be done.  Then I made beds, did a little sweeping and went into the terribly messy kitchen.  Hubs was making a sandwich.   He asked for a dish rag to wipe off the dining room table as I had not cleaned up after the nice steak dinner I had made him the night before and he had forestry plots to do.  I ground 5 lbs of wheat, and as it was grinding, got the dishes ready to soak and put away others.  That took about 5 minutes.  Then I put 2 bags of soup beans on the stove in water to boil, after boiling for 10 minutes I let them cool. Then I cleaned up the kitchen from the night before. While that was going on I mixed up 4 loaves of bread and set the timer for 8 minutes to knead the bread.  Peeled, and cut, two onions, 4 carrots, two celery stalks, head of garlic, then set those aside and took scraps to chicken.  Came in and drained beans, then added water and all veggies, a ham bone,and a package of ham left over in the freezer, started this to boil.  Emptied bread dough onto floured board and cut it  in 4 loaves,shaped and put it into sprayed pans.  Then as the bread raised and the soup boiled I re cleaned the kitchen and mopped the floor. I also ran up and down the stairs to keep the laundry moving.  By 2:30 bread was out of the oven and soup was cooked ready for tomorrow.  Hubs sat quietly at dining table the whole time, well after I found his 3 inch triangular ruler in the junk drawer, that he insisted he put back in his cruising vest.

     Now my question is?  Does your hubby ever treat you like you don't do anything or am I just sensitive?  I really could have stayed in my pj's all day.  I feel like if I am not doing something useful all the time I am being judged, My problem? or His?

     I need to go clean up as in bathe set hair and get ready for church so I can go teach music.  Then I can come home and enjoy a quite evening. My dinner is made, I can take a nap and veg on the couch.

Have a quite and happy Sabbath.




  1. LOL my answer would have been " I'm not." Which is probably why hubby never asks me such questions (he already knows the answer!). But you were super productive today--good for you!

  2. Mr. R does it too. I always remind him of all the stuff I do. He does tend to clean a lot more than me. But when I do a cleaning its more thorough and takes more time. For example cleaning out the refrigerator is something my husband would never consider doing.

    I also take care of all the bills and researching new ways to save money so we can have money to do other fun stuff. I handled all the taxes by myself, etc. We have a tendency if we haven't seen each other all day to list all the stuff that each of us had done.

    Like today, Mr. R slept all day since he worked last night and works tonight. So when he got up and was like and saw that I had finished the laundry he started he was like "wow you did laundry" and so of course I was like "yep, I filed our taxes, took the girls to pump it up, made a big batch of blue berry pancakes, cooked dinner and did the dishes too."
    I don't say it bitchy but I do make a point of listing what I've done. If i have a pj lazy day though I do end up feeling too guilty to enjoy it. So I'll atleast try to get a little cleaning in to justify spending a few hours zoned out on the couch.

  3. Yikes. I think that is his problem, not yours.

    No, my husband won't treat me that way because I wouldn't let him, because I was raised by parents who had mutual respect tor one another. Dad was a PhD, mom a SAHM with two masters. I shudder to think the response if he said something like that to my mother! Which he wouldn't have, nor would my husband....or my brothers to their wives. If my dh, however, did slip into momentary idiocy, and ask that, I would probably say something like "yes. I am going to sit here and drink coffee until I switch to wine. Why do you ask?" 'Nuff said.
    But, perhaps the words out of your husband's mouth didn't sound to him as they did to you?

  4. My DH asks me things like that all the time. I usually respond with something like "yes, I might take a nap later." I work outside the home and DH does not. I never ask him what he has been doing all day (while I have been at work) and he never inquires about my seemingly unproductive sitting around on the weekends.

  5. His problem.

    My husband will make comments to me now about me taking an afternoon nap. Yes, I nap because I'm freakin' tired because I was up 3 times last night feeding the baby. Its highly annoying and I do snap at him for it.

  6. My DH wouldn't ask him that ... but he would sit on his tush all day while I did all the things you did. And it wouldn't even once occur to him to ask what he could do to help. It is my theory that he was watching sports when God was handing out the productivity gene.

  7. My DH's concept of doing something and mine are very different. I could do 2 meals, dishes, bake, do laundry and clean, but he will still think I did nothing while he spent 30 min shoveling the driveway. Sadly he does not value or understand daily work around the house.

  8. I understand how you feel and to a certain extent feel it is the sad lot of women who were born in the 1950's. And before. Our own daughters probably never feel like that (I hope!)