Monday, October 9, 2017

Monday, And she's off! Money saving Madness

     I got mom to Missoula in one piece and with very little aggravation.  I was worried sick about leaving her there with no real definite plans of where or who would care for her.  My last alternative was to bring her back home, but I did not want that and neither did she.   En route to Missoula I received a phone call from my twin who had secured a ticket to arrive in Missoula the next day (Sunday).  She had even booked a handicap hotel room for mom and I at our favorite hotel in Missoula.  So we drove right to the hotel had the closest parking spot and the closest room to the door and the pool and lounge.  It was great and such a relief to me.  Mom was oblivious as she can take care of herself you know. (wink, wink)

     We went over and saw my Aunt and a cousin I had not seen in 30 years and then back to the hotel for the night.  Sis flew in and we went over to Aunt's again.  We visited and Aunty is so trying to maintain her composure but I know she is struggling.  Sis needed to run some errands so suggested that we go and mom said she wanted to stay at my Aunt's.  Well Aunt would have none of that.  Of course mom was insulted, but she is old and just doesn't realize the burden she is and that she is total care and leaving her with Aunty after she has just taken care of her sick husband for 7 straight months was not really an option even if it was  for the afternoon. 

     Sis and I calmed mom down by telling her Aunty just wasn't herself and she was grieving and you have to forgive everything anyone does while in grief (she had taught us that ) as they are not in their right mind.  So mom calmed down.  Sis was very taken aback by mom's condition as she has gotten so much worse in the last 8 months.  It was truly something one has to experience for themselves.  Telephone calls, emails, and blog posts just don't give you the true picture.  I wish I had been able to spend even a few minutes alone with my twin but that was not possible.  We were only together for about 10 hours awake.

     This morning I left Missoula about 10 a.m. our time and was home by 2:30.  The drive was so beautiful.  The trees were ablaze and the mountains are always gorgeous.  Other that the winding narrow two lane highway with a sharp cliff on at least one side leading to a river it was a good drive.

     Getting mom to her brother's funeral is a family affair.  First of all mom thinks she must be there instantly to help with all aspects of the funeral.  You cannot explain to her that she will be of no help in fact she will make more work.  Now Sis and I and Lil sis can help but mo is work.  This is our family schedule:

We have known Uncles death was imminent for at least 3 months.  We have kept weekends open as much as possible.  We have put off plans.  Finally it was like we have to do what we have to do.  Hubs takes a spot in the pit for a three week run, Lil sis gets a really cheap flight to St. Louis to see her girls.  Hub's and I have to use our two free $800.00 vouchers by the 12th of October.  Fine Hubs last show is on the 8th.  Lil sis leaves on the 7th to return on the 10th, Hubs and I have to fly out on the 10th as it is the only day our tickets will get us out of here.  So we make arrangements for mom on the 10th.  A college student will come to my house and stay and Lil sis will pick her up early on the 11th.  We are covered.  Then we find out Uncle dies over this weekend and the funeral is on Thursday.  Great!  Double Great!

Unc decides to leave his earthly abode on October 7th.  I know he is laughing having put a kink into all our plans.

So as mom has to be there immediately, I talk her into not leaving until Saturday the 7th.  She reluctantly agrees.  Sis (my twin) agrees to fly in and take charge of mom and gets in on Sunday the 8th.  I leave Monday the 9th to drive home so I can fly out to Florida on Tuesday the 10th.  Lil sis will fly into Lewiston on Tuesday the 10th.  She will work at  her office on the 11th as there is a board meeting which she cannot skip as she has 3 things to present to the board. She will then drive late into the night to get to Missoula.  She and Sis and Mom will attend funeral and Lil sis will drive mom home.  Sis will fly back to D.C.  All of this to make sure  mom is at her brother's funeral and cared for.  I'm telling you it is exhausting.

     The only nice thing out of all of this is that my poor Aunt will finally get a break.  It was time and she is exhausted.  I also was able to get two nights of sound sleep at the hotel.  10.44 hours on Saturday and 11.17 hours on Sunday.  I am lucky to get 5-6 hours at home.  I feel so good.  We are going to have to rethink my schedule as I have been dealing with mom in the morning and have not gotten to my shop to actually do any work until about 1 in the afternoon.  So I sew for a few hours and then dinner and get mom back to bed and then I sew late into the night.  I have to be up for the shop and ready by 10 not leaving a lot of hours for good sleep.  I do keep up on my work this way but not on my health. So when I get home from this much needed vacation I will be checking into services for the elderly in our community.  Even if I can get 12-15 hours a week it will improve my sleep situation.  Hub's can also step up a bit if mom will allow it.

Money Saving Madness:

1.Picked enough garden produce to make another huge pot of vegetable spaghetti sauce.  Froze 14 meals worth of sauce.
2. Picked more fresh veggies for meals
3. All food scraps fed to chickens.
4. Made huge pot of bean soup and another of beef barley for meals and lunches
5.Made a nice meal for some sick friends without spending a dime
6. Used coupons at Joanns
7.  Did a Sluggy run at Rite-aid and was able to get mom's personal things for $5.00 a bag with coupons and points.
8. Saved $120.00 out of my grocery budget to put toward our trip.  Thanks Ann for the idea.
9. Made mom pay for gas to Missoula and as she insisted on stopping to eat she got to pay for that also.  That was a first.
10. Have been wearing sweaters to keep the heat off as long as possible.
11. turned off the irrigation and pond for fall
12. Picked up a few Christmas gifts on close out sales


Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.

Kim

24 comments:

  1. That schedule was so confusing and convoluted. All convoluted to get your mother there. Whew. Now that you know what it is like to get sleep and have determined to change things, then you say, "if mom will allow it." Without being mean, you can just say the alternative is an independent living place. That might just shut down the objections to hubs. Sleep is the only way I could ever withstand long stretches of unremitting demands. Stick by your guns on this. You see how she paid for lunch when she had to. Now, she has to pay for help for herself.

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  2. Have fun in FL! What ya doing/where ya going there?

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    1. We are visiting Joel's brother and sister in law in Destin and will then tour up around Vicksburg sand Southern Civil War stuff. After we have the layout of the land we will do this again do you want to join us? Fun, fun, fun we need to do this before they tear down all the monuments:)

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    2. Vicksburg is in Mississippi, the other side of Alabama. I certainly hope they don't tear down monuments on battlefield sites. That would be a sin. Vicksburg is a great place to visit! Well, I liked it anyway.

      You are far to the south part of FL/AL. Are you going back the same way? Or to the north? I hope another hurricane does not come our way!

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  3. Have a great Florida trip and remember Alabama is attached to Florida!

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    1. I know so where are you and can we see you? We need to know where it's good to eat!

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  4. Enjoy your trip and respite from caring for your mother. My mother cared for my bedridden father for 7 years and it was so stressful on her. She loved him more than anything, but caring for someone else is a huge act of love.

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    1. Yes it is and I am going to rest and have a good time.

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  5. I hope you have the best trip! Yes, see those monuments before they are all torn down :( And get lots of sleep!

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  6. I think getting some additional help with your mom is an excellent idea. My 90 year old MIL lives with my SIL and she has an aid come in for several hours a week. Well worth the money as it gives my SIL a much needed break so she can do other things.

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  7. Having some help is a very good idea, especially since you have a business to run. Lack of sleep cannot be good for your health problems, either. Have fun on your trip!

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  8. I am so glad you finally got some good sleep. I am very sorry about your uncle's passing though. I do hope that you and your hubby will have a wonderful and relaxing time on your much needed and deserved vacation. Make sure to just take some down time to breathe while you are there. :)

    My hubby and I were down your way on Sunday and hit the Goodwill, St Vincent d Paul thrift stores and the Grocery Outlet. We had wanted to go for a drive and ended up down there. Funny how that works. ;)

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    1. Hi I am back please let me know next time you are in town I will have you stay and have dinner or lunch or just go get some fun. we have a nice guest room.

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  9. My deepest sympathies on the loss of your uncle. That was a lot of arrangements to make sure your mom is taken care of, but what a blessing to have your sisters to help you. Hope you have a lovely, relaxing time on your vacation get away.

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  10. Whoa...I'm confused but you all have everything under control it sounds like! What's that saying? "life is what happens when you're busy making other plans?" I really really hope you can find some senior services when your mom is back with you once again - it just shows how little sleep you are getting!!

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  11. You have your hands full. I'm glad you are getting to go on a vacation.

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  12. I'm so glad you're getting a vacation too! I just found out that my MIL had called information operator 9 times last month with $3 a pop... 7 were in the course of an hour. I don't know who all she was trying to get a hold of and she doesn't remember. But I KNOW that no one else in the family would call information. They'd rather google it.

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    1. Yeah why I switched to tide pods. Have you every put 10 x the laundry detergent in a machine? Same concept.....

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