Thursday, Mortgage under $25,000

     So I get this birthday box from Sluggy and I open it all excited to see a note that says on pain of bodily harm or something to that affect I cannot open until my birthday.  Unbeknown to Slug's my twin sister also sends me a card with the same threat.  Like they arrive at the same time on the same day.  Creepy as she and Sluggy are connected in some weird way.  This is not the first time these two have crossed the psychic path.  Sis and I are somehow connected but now we have a third twin.  ( insert Twilight Zone theme)


    Thanks for all of the responses on the brother saga.  All told I can say that both my brother and his wife really appreciated the efforts we put into their place.  I have never had my brother be that grateful before.   He is the youngest and has been very spoiled and enabled by my mother.  But mom can no longer help him and we refuse to help with money.  Now the things we did cost us money, but we chose what we would do to help and mostly to help the girls.  Both of these individuals are capable if not willing to do what we did.  They are not capable at this time of buying the massive amount of cleaning supplies or the dump fees that were needed.

     There were some comments on the fact that I collect a disability.  Yes I do.  It is not a large amount but it does offset our medical expenses at this time, not counting any major hospitalizations or surgeries.  I was approved in 2014.  My doctor had been on me for years to slow down and apply and I had applied three times during bad flairs.  These were flairs that lasted for months.  But every time when it would come to the interview process I would feel great and I would tell the caseworker to cancel as I was on a new medication and I no longer needed assistance.

  I had a bad personal experience about 8 years ago involving an assault on my person.  It was so horrifying that it took me over a year to even get over the guilt (victim guilt) and quit crying everyday.  At that time I went out of remission and just could not get back in.  I was on med after med and it was a bad time. It took me about 4 years to get back into remission.  Any of you who know anything about this disorder know that when you go out you drop and you never get back up to the place you were.  Something is lost or damaged, joints are destroyed or don't ever really work again.  It was about 4 years after this event that I applied again.  Just listing my medications made the case worker shudder.  I was approved 8 months later.  No fighting, no court appearances, nothing.  You hear all these horror stories and I had none.  But I had years of blood tests, x-rays, surgeries, and doctors that were pushing it through and I am very grateful.

     One of the major problems I was facing and the doctor kept at me for this, is that my husband is older than I am, by close to 10 years.  When he retired I would have no medical insurance and no one would cover me.  Without the meds I take, life expectancy with my form of RA is 55.  I have had two relatives who died from this genetically carried illness.  One passed at 52 and the other at 58.  You have to have the inhibitors in your system or the condition affects your heart and eyes. I have had 7 eye surgeries as of this date.  Your heart is just one big sack of connective tissue.  So the disease goes up your appendages taking 5-7 joints a year, it gets to your heart, and lungs and you are gone. You also have to keep moving with this type of RA.  As in physically using your hands and body.  Sleep is difficult as you stove up and then when you do move your joints throb.  So being able to sew and get up and go to the ironing board, then back to the machine, staying in constant motion doing things is essential.  Bursts of work with rest, constant movement, rest.  Many people just stop moving and the end up in a wheel chair and dead.  Not my plan. What we are trying to do is prevent this.  Is the disease gone? No.  But it is slowed down considerably. 

     With the SSI, I no longer have to clean government buildings at night.  Because we all know how well my hands and arms tolerate cleaning.  With SSI I could give up the dance studio and the stress of the cash sucking cow.  With SSI I don't worry about paying the co-pays for my meds which some months can be $500.00.  It is a blessing.

      I started working at 14, I taught dance 5 nights a week for a minimum of 2-3 hours and worked as a waitress 16 hours on the weekends. I worked full time all through college and when I married my husband was unemployed for almost 10 years, so I worked 2 or 3 jobs. I have paid years into this system.  For most of the next 30 years of my married life I worked over 60 hours a week.  Hub's was either unemployed or severely under employed. We had three children to help get through college.  We also had a daughter that passed away leaving us with $80,000 dollars of medical debt, 1/2 of which we paid ourselves and the other half was forgiven.  I guess what I am trying to say is that I worked hard.  Probably harder that I should have.  I can no longer work like this and although I keep busy it is my nature, I cannot work outside my home for wages.  I would love to and sometimes try and it always results in a bad flair.  Thanks goodness for SSI. Why am I rambling on about this, um guilt, justification, because I am not disabled......

     Well the shop is getting very busy, and I have much sewing to do. The littles were here yesterday so not much got done.  I am going to be at the Harley Davidson dealership the next two days sewing on patches, for a big motorcycle festival.  Can't you just see me riding a HOG?   Won't happen I despise motorcycles.  I am just doing this to help promote the dealership for a friend.

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.

Kim