SO, looking for some joy I came across Kelsa's fancy foot picture and it made me smile. I need to smile right now.
I think Hub's will go pick up his mom today and I have been forcing myself to get things done. Finally got her sheets changed, and I am slowly working on her room, which I should have done last night. But instead, I slept on the sofa during the news with Kelsa on my chest. That is the way her mom found us, fast asleep. WE WERE WORN OUT FROM DOING NOTHING AND PLAYING HARD. That is my story and sticking to it I am afraid, as I have no other excuse.
Did I get any sewing done yesterday? No, but I will today because I have to. I wish my life could be because I want to and not because I have to. When will this fog end? I am really trying.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with the eye doctor, and I need secondary cataracts zapped off my eye or eyes. I hope they can do it tomorrow and I don't have to go back. I am also baking with Lil sis tomorrow so looking forward to that. At least she will keep me going and I won't be able to slip off and just zone out.
Today I will get things done, I will get things done, I will get things done.....
I hope this works. Even Hub's has been on me about my lack of Christmas progress. Sigh.
Must do better today.
1. get coat sleeves fixed
2. hem 5 pairs pants
3. hem 5 pairs pants
4. finish mom's room
5. take plastic storage bags to garage and find someplace for them
6. get candle box put away.
7. move large amazon box out of doorway
8. find an empty plastic tote to store pictures in that I removed from drawers in mom's room
9. make up sugar cookie dough for Lil sis (or I will be in trouble)
10. go get cream for caramels.
What is wrong with me? Well maybe I don't want to know. Just sayin.
Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.
Kim
It is called depression. You might want to check in with your doctor for a med to help. Funny I am having the same intestinal issues it seems. Doc told me STRESS tied with Depression is most likely causing it. Stress of waiting to hear if Grandson is coming home from Italy (Deployed) HE IS. Depression as the ex-stepson of one of my daughters killed himself because his parents kept fighting over child support. He was 16. Now my daughter is in counseling trying to deal with the grief and not blaming herself even though she was no longer in his life much. Then deal with the tornadoes, one almost hit a friend's home. Felt blessed they only lost all the windows.
ReplyDeleteThat is a lot to bear my friend. These issues really started when I was in Missoula for the funeral and I am sure stress made the intestines flare. Very painful. I am sorry for your stress. It seems we are all under the gun lately.
DeleteYou know I get the black dig visits periodically. It does not necessarily mean depression but sure could be a sign of being depressed, and needing self care- which might mean sleep with a baby in your chest. No one will notice if things aren't your normal standards as much as you. They will notice burned out and sad Kim.
ReplyDeleteYOu are right I am the only one putting pressure on me and I need to quit it.
DeleteThat is a baby enjoying some food!
ReplyDeleteHon, give yourself a little break. You have been through a lot in the past month or so. My goodness, it is very understandable to outsiders why you might not be INTO the holidays!
Just go with the flow and don't fret so much. HUGS
Thanks, Cheryl, I do fret over things that are not necessary, and I am trying to stop.
DeleteGrief. It sucks. It hurts. It saps the energy out of our bodies while our hearts and minds are in pain.
ReplyDeletePlease please please be kind to yourself. Life will never be the same. Make less commitments for 6weeks than you normally might. Give yourself some time to reconcile and begin the healing process (and you'll barely begin).
Isn't that the truth, I do feel zapped.
DeleteUgh. If I did 1/2 as much as you did on one of your down days, I'd be twice as productive. Relax. I am somewhat envious of your ability to enjoy taking care of your grandkids--I can't imagine myself *ever* doing that, even in the best of times. Just the thought makes me anxious!
ReplyDeleteTypically, Christmas is my favorite time, but this year, in light of DH's stroke, I'm not "feeling it" either. Decorating has been minimal. Baking almost non-existent. We've always been low key, though, so I think I'm the only one who notices--I would imagine your family is grateful for everything as well. I know I would be!
I am sorry about your Husband. That is so hard. If we lived close we could go out and bitch together.
DeleteYou deserve a break, Kim. Don’t pressure yourself to get everything done, just take it easy and do what you can. You’ve been through a lot lately and you need a break.
ReplyDeleteI know and I am expecting myself to do all the things I usually do and I just can't. It is cut back time.
DeleteGrief takes a great deal out of a person, so I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. I think you managed to get quite a bit done on your list.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself. If you feel like sleeping so so as it is healing.
God bless.
You are right, I just simply refuse to lighten up on myself and I really need to. The kids will understand.
DeleteBig hugs to you, girl. Prioritize the top 2-3 things YOU care about having done for the holidays, and do those few things that will make you happy. The rest can wait for another year.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right!
DeleteThis intestine thing could be the source of problems, along with all that has happened. See a doctor.
ReplyDeleteI just don't want to go through all the crap to see a doctor, but may have to.
DeleteAlways thinking of you Kim. You can do this, you really can. Go easy on yourself.
ReplyDeleteThanks Lisa, I needed that!
DeleteI think it's time for you to let someone take care of you for a little bit. Christmas isn't all about the baking or decorating so let that stuff slide this year and relax and enjoy your family.
ReplyDeleteYou are right Lori. In fact my youngest has done some baking for the first time and it is great!
DeleteWith all due respect, sweetie, if your husband wants MORE Christmas, politely tell him to get off his duff and create more Christmas. There is no law that says women have to do 110% of Christmas. And if he doesn't do it, fine, he didn't really want it that badly.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true.
Delete