Wednesday, trying to come up for air

      I give up, I have had nothing but problems with this computer today and I am so behind. I do have a few items to sew but nothing that will take too much time and they are for family.

We get Oliver tonight and tomorrow as both his parents have to work and we will have dinner at 5 at Lil sis's.  

I have done nothing as far as cooking is concerned.  I say I am going to do it and then just find myself staring off into space.  I am not crying any more, so that helps some.  It has been a very hard last few days here.

Travis was able to see the children yesterday and he said they had done a good job, but it was obvious the cause of death.  

Our eldest who is a criminal prosecutor, says that this was a freak event on two counts.  First the motherhood protection instinct is the the strongest bond we have in animals and humans.  To ignore that is rare.  Secondly women don't like mess, they use poison, drowning, smothering, not guns, knives or bloody deaths. To have such a violent act for vengeance sake is just very rare, in women.

We know now that the memorial will take place at mom's church.  The women's league will not be able to help us due to covid restrictions, but we can use the kitchens and the hall after the funeral.  So Lil sis and I will leave here next Wednesday and go to Missoula to get things ready and make plans.  The babies are to be cremated. 

Thank you to all who have said or are praying on our families behalf.  There is great strength in prayer and I know we have been sustained by this.

Life is moving on, and we have to move on with it. My daughter hit the nail on the head when she said, It was in my mind every minute, now it is every 10 minutes. The horror is all consuming, and I want it to go away. I want to hug my grandbabies, and enjoy my loved ones and have a nice dinner.

I don't want to think about funeral plans, but I know the burden of this will fall on us three girls.  Travis does not have parents to rely on and my folks are deceased. The Aunts  (us)(bossy ) will move in and set the world to rights as much as possible. It is a lousy, big task.  If Travis had his way we would have been there yesterday. But we will do our best.  Calling on family and close friends to help with this burden. So many questions, none which I can answer.

So today I have to get these things done, I can't beleive I am this far behind.

1. make stuffing and stuff bird put in fridge for tomorrow

2. make small oyster stuffing for hubs

3. cut up sweet potables and get those ready for reheat tomorrow

4. figure out relish tray and get things ready for tomorrow

5. make pie crusts ( no still have not done this)

6. make 4 pies, apple, 2 pumpkin,1 something else

7. make cheese ball

8. Make rolls tomorrow

9. replace zipper in a pair of pants and take in two pairs of pants for Kelsa (the bean)

I am and will get this done, what to do first is the only thing.  Probably get the giblets started and do the pie crusts.

Thanks so much for everything, your support means everything to me.

Kim