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Let Lucy (alias Kim) splain why she does not want to get involved with the civic theater. They take advantage of your good nature. Or they take advantage of your bad nature.
My girlfriend who was playing the fairy Godmother in Cinderella, lost her mom (who, was a good friend of my mother) two days before the show closed. She is a true professional and the show went on. I took in almond cakes for the funeral as they were her mom's favorite. At that time, she revealed to me that she was in charge of the children's theater program for the summer, and they were doing Newsies. She asked if I could whip up a few newspapers, bags. She also said she had a lot of moms who could help. Of course, I was not going to say no at that time. But I should have guessed. Sewing or doing anything for the theater is like having a baby. You forget the labor part after a few years and just remember the baby.
When we got home last week from dropping off the boys, she txt me that she had fabric did I want to pick it up? They open the end of this week. I told her she could drop it off at my place. See Kim forming boundaries. I was not here when the 4 bolts (yes 4 bolts) of fabric were dropped off. I txt to find out how many and she only needed 30 of them.... Only 30! What happened to the mother's that were going to help? I did not have time to even look at the material until Saturday and I was pissed. Pissed at myself for saying I would help. Pissed that I fell for the lots of mothers to help scenario. Pissed that my weekend would now be fraught with bag making.
Actually, I did 17 of them (no lettering was required) on Friday night. Then I did 7 Saturday morning, and I did the last 5 on Sunday after church. I also kept her up to date through txt where I was on progress so she would not worry. When I contacted her that I was done, she said she could pick them up or I was welcome to drop them at the theater Monday afternoon. No way am I going close to that theater at the beginning of hell week. I asked her to pick them up. I mean it if you give and inch you get to make 30 bags in two days.
Okay I got that off my chest in a very unchristian way.
As my goal is to not buy any groceries this month, I have had to remind myself as I start to peruse Ibotta and the sale adds. I did run into a store and got a 1/2 gallon of milk and that is it!
I made blueberry scones, and orange and cranberry scones this weekend for a treat. I am trying to use up frozen peaches and blueberries I pulled from the freezer. Schnills and I made popsicles, with the last of the yogurt, blueberries, and peaches. I also made blueberry pancakes this morning.
Cleaning out the large freezer showed me what we need to eat. I did manage to get a bag of fish eaten and I pulled out a large bag of chicken hand quarters to cook up today. I will do several things with them. I plan on eating a bag of fish every week until it is gone. Also, I found more apple sauce than I thought we had so I need to incorporate that into meals so plan on using a bag of that a week. It's all about using what we have and not spending any money.
I have 4 bridesmaid dresses to do today and some piles, plus I need to start another wedding dress or two.
What plans do you have for the week?
Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.
Kim
Give an inch and they take a mile. At least they are done!
ReplyDeleteStaying out of stores as well. Not looking at ads - well, if I do - the best laid plans!
Have a good week.
I know the adds come out tomorrow and I am such a creature of habit.
DeleteI'm so annoyed for you. It's how I got to be in charge if the Palm Sunday breakfast and ended up with a two week day commitment. I was supposed to be the help but the person in charge decided she needed a weekend away, after committing to a new menu, all donations, and the shopping. That was just crap of your friend. 30 the week of????? Who do s that to people.
ReplyDeleteI meant two weeks leading the to a two day commitment.
Deletetheater people do that. They mean well but people commit and then don't do what they said they would do. They like the idea, of volunteering, but not the work. I am sorry you got stuck.
DeleteOh wow, I'm sorry that your friend took advantage of you, but I'm glad that you set some boundaries. Yay Kim!
ReplyDeleteOur community summer musical enterprise theater is also doing Newsies, and my son got roped into making the printing press. I think he has 3 weeks to build it which is more time than they gave him to make the meat grinder for Sweeney Todd a few years ago. He usually enjoys this sort of thing when he has enough time.
Sounds like you have lots of yummy foods to eat. Hope you have a good week.
I just get so frustrated with people who volunteer and then no show. Sounds like your son is very talented.
DeleteThat's really unfortunate that your friend either had a change she neglected to tell you about (definitely possible, given her own situation dealing with grief), and/or took advantage of you. I'm glad you were able to get it off your plate & move on, but sorry you had to absorb all of that extra work. As you said, stay away in the future!
ReplyDeleteScones sound so good.
It is so typical of the theater crowd.
DeleteI am going to share a sentence one of my friends taught me many years ago "I honestly know I should but I just have to say no" There is no way to argue with it, because you know you should but the no was definitive.
ReplyDeleteWell, I am still remembering the labor pains so I think I will go with that for the next few years.
DeleteI honestly don't think their heart is in a place of taking advantage. She may see it as you agreed to do it, and then she gave the details. What is a lot to one person may not be a lot to another. Next time before giving a "yes" best to get the details on supplies, what you need to do ,etc. Then agree or set limits.
ReplyDeleteWell I do blame myself for not asking for details. But I was thinking maybe 10 or 12 bags? My fault entirely. And as she was in a state of grieving, she may not have asked others as she normally would have. I don't know.
DeleteYou are a better woman than I. I would have picked up my phone & called her & asked "so are ALL the women getting 4 bolts of fabric? Or all we all meeting up someplace to knock these out! Because there is NO WAY I can do 4 bolts worth of newspaper bags." Oh my gosh! The NERVE of that woman! Seriously - she took FULL advantage of you. You know Kim, if she had the nerve to dump that on you, you need to have the nerve to refuse to do more than you signed up for.
ReplyDeleteThat's just y take. The older I get, the more I start speaking up & out when I feel someone is taking advantage of me. Don't care if it's family or friends - I will call them out!
I have to say I was in total shock when she said thirty. I would love to strangle every other mother who said they would help.
DeleteYikes! No, just no. This is where I feel sorry for self employed folks or folks who work at home. Others try to take advantage. Just because you are at home does not mean you are not working. There is an old saying, once someone burns you, treat them like the fire on the end of a long handled wooden spoon. Cindy in the South
ReplyDeleteIn other words, keep your distance from them from now on. Cindy in the South
DeleteI do believe that people who work at home get the short end of the stick. And that stick is often on fire!
DeleteOh Kim,
ReplyDeleteI have been put upon time and again sewing for groups and for little thanks. The community theatre group came to town. All three of my children were in the production of Winnie the Pooh, and I had to pay $30 in 1979 money in order to put on a production to raise money and pay the out of towners salary. People knew I sewed and I was willing to help sew costumes. However, it was not going to be others sewing in the end, just me and someone I did not like who could not sew, just willing. I saw the way the wind was blowing and told them I could make my children's three costumes. They begged and tried to flatter me. I even had to pay to get into the production!
The next week they tried to strongarm me into donating my children's costumes. NO, my children wanted their costumes. So, a few people were irritated at me. I just did not care.
I won't continue my litany of incidents. I was not sewing for a living at the time, but had three children in other types of programs and I had to be present to provide their transportation and dinner at home every night. Once people know you sew, many are there, thinking you are wanting to sew for free every time they need something made.
One woman tried to appeal to me to make puppets for her church. Don't worry how Christian you are. She knew I needed the money and did sew to support myself. She did not understand, she said, that if I had nothing to sew right at that time to make money, then why could I not sew for the church. Well, because I said, NO!
Okay, I will quit now.
The incidents was after my divorce, and I did sew for money I needed.
DeleteOnly the last incident with the puppets was when I sewed for pay.
DeleteThat was $30/each for a total of $90. I am tired and cannot seem to get this right.
DeleteYour life is my life. People really take advantage of you if you have a much-needed skill. I have been asked over the years to donate costumes I made for my children, and I have said no.
DeleteI don't understand why one cannot just say " I'm sorry but my plate is full right now", kindly but definitively. I don't take on projects that I will resent. I don't feel the need to be snarky, a simple cannot do it this time should suffice. If I choose to do something I need to remind myself that it was a choice I made.
ReplyDeleteShe was responding to a friend who had just lost her mother who was a friend of her mother. She was trying to be helpful. And, the woman told her there were others on the newsbag team. She never expected the treatment she received. So, maybe Kim just trusted the wrong person. Okay?
DeleteExactly Parsimony. I thought I would have a few bags to put out.
DeleteWow that was a lot to ask of you.
ReplyDeleteIt was, and I am surprised that she even asked, but I don't think she put in the effort to try and get others to help, as she was struggling with the death of her mom.
DeleteWow wow wow. I like what Practical Parsimony had to say: you stepped into help a friend who had just lost a parent. You just didn't know what was coming.
ReplyDeleteI didn't. I think if I had known I would have asked for the phone #'s of this group of moms and insisted on help. But it is over and I survived the birth.
DeleteSometimes its hard to say no, but she definitley (for what ever reason) took advantage of your skills and your generous heart.
ReplyDeleteThis is true.
DeleteI agree you should have just said no. Why exactly was this taking advantage of you when you agreed and didn’t ask for details? I’m just not following as that’s a pretty mean assumption on the other woman who maybe thought you were happy to help?
ReplyDeleteShe was mislead. Can you not understand? People do not value a "seamstress" as a person. Maybe if Kim were to call herself a "tailor" her personhood would be honored. I wonder why you are so willing to cut the woman some slack and not cut Kim slack.
DeleteIt was certainly my fault to not ask for specifics. I have been down this road before, many times. I just forgot the labor part of the child birth.
DeleteOh Parsimony, you have your nose out of joint. No part of that is not cutting Kim "slack" . So don't make stuff up, silly. I was engaging with Kim, not you and the way your response is .....I stand by that!
DeletePlenty of people value seamstresses PP. I am one and I’m valued! Kim is one and I value her blog! Clearly the woman who asked for her sewing sees her value as a seamstress. SMH at that comment in it’s entirety.
Delete- Jane in Toronto