Sunday, May 22, 2016

Sunday, I survived!

     I survived again.  Dress rehearsal was a nightmare.  I about killed my husband on purpose.  It was long, frustrating, riddled with problems that I am sure I could have taken care of before hand.  I could have put the house flats inside and cleaned them up.  They could have been ready to go.  I could have listened more carefully and watched more carefully to opening music and choreography to see that the show flowed better.  I didn't.   So most of the problems at the rehearsal were tech.  The kids dances were great.  I channeled every bad director I ever worked with into my sole and was a real witch.  I don't blame anyone but myself. I am a stickler for detail and for being ready on time down to the final note.  I know there will always be changes and problems but most can be avoided if you really pay attention to the details.  I was not ready and I did not pay attention. Now my next question is why?

    It is simple.  I was tired and I did not care.  I really did not.  Was the show good?  You bet it was.  The first run had a few glitches, but the second was great. However I have become the kind of director and business owner that just does not care.   I will make sure the basics are covered but I was not going to go crazy and all out, I just can't do it any more. Half done and acceptable is good enough.  I have always been an over the top person.  That person is tired.  Right now I don't even care if I get to the top.  If I make it to the edge of the mountain it is okay.  I can't believe I think that or that I just wrote that.

    The kitchen is coming together.  I still have no sink, but I do have a stove and a fridge.  Every thing is on hold waiting for the counter tops.  So we will punt along until we can get that done.  I can start to put things away and clean a little.  We can do the dishes in the bath tub or out on the back porch for a while.  My plan after church is to come home and start to put liners in drawers and things in cupboards.  I am excited to start all the finishing details.  It will be a few weeks before it will be done.

     In the mean time I have plenty of sewing to do.  I have ignored the poor yard for weeks.  The house is such a wreck it is scary.  My chickens would be dead if it wasn't for my mam and hub's.  I just have not had enough hours in the day to get everything done and I am so tired.  That is changing.

     I am in the process of selling the studio.  I am so happy and relieved.  The new owner will take possession on September 1st.  So I have to get through the summer, and I will.  I am still going to have an association with the studio in that I will continue to teach Celtic and over see the advanced ballet program.  Which means I will no longer have the day to day running of the business.  I will only have to go done once a week and with a helper.  I will actually get paid plus the payment on the studio will pay off the debt.  I don't think the kids will notice a difference and I have full confidence in the person buying the business.

     It is time.  I have to get out before I get sloppy and I am starting to get really sloppy.  I do not like myself like this.   I don't want to do things half baked.  Now I can concentrate on the things that are really important.  My family, my mom, my sewing business, my health.  I am going to be very happy.

Have a beautiful and blessed Sabbath.

Kim
    

9 comments:

  1. Congratulations on putting yourself first. I think selling through studio will make a huge difference in your quality of life.

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    1. I am so tired and I am so hoping that this is the answer.

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  2. Amen!

    I am so happy that you've made this decision/change. Onward to a better Kim!

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    1. I so wanted to call you, but did not want to ruin your trip with my angst. I have wanted to do this for a while now and it was so scary. But I was determined to listen to my inner voice. Even if I had to close the place.

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    2. Well if you had called you would have gotten Noah as he had my phone while we were gone. lolz
      But you should call me now that we are home. I doubt that your angst could have ruined the trip.....seems my angst was already taking a toll on the trip. This was NOT a pleasure trip and I am so glad it's over!!!

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  3. Wow! I can't believe you made the plunge. I'm breathing easier just reading this! Ha. It goes to show that we have to listen to our bodies, our thoughts etc. and do the right thing sometimes. I'm betting this will be a total game changer for you.

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  4. Hallelujah!

    Love, DeeCee

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  5. Wonderful! I know sometimes letting go is hard, but there comes a time when change is inevitable. Hope this is the best decision for YOU! Just reading what all you have on your plate makes me tired.

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  6. Hope your new role at the studio will be more enjoyable and you can find the room and energy to care again. I'm glad you will be getting a break, but more glad that we won't be losing you entirely because you crashed and burned. : )

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