I am so excited to report that my ice maker is fixed. The light that was broken (Hub's) on my new range hood is fixed. The sprayer on my sink is fixed. (cost part at home depot $11.99)I was so frustrated with Hub's and should not have been. I should be kinder,but I get so tired of him not being able to fix even the tiniest thing. He has no confidence and it drives me crazy, but when he does try to even change a light bulb he breaks something. Example: Stove hood light. I really get down in the dumps as I start reliving this fiasco of a life, with his inability to earn a decent living and my having to work so hard to make up for his lack of effort. I get angry and relive every feeling and sorrow and episode. Now he is incapable of changing a light bulb. I don't think it is fair. What does God want me to learn from this? Why am I being punished? What did I do wrong? Am I going to have to pay for every little job that has to be done the rest of my life? This means I will work forever?
I just paid a $136.00 bill to get the garage door fixed. Because Hub's could not replace the battery. The screw was too small and his hands were shaking so bad. He told me to call a repair man as it was broken. I could have fixed it if he said what was wrong. But then I would have been angry with him. I absolutely hate having to stand by him every time he does the tiniest thing.I know this sounds terrible, but I am so capable, and when something stumps me, I research and try again, I don't give up. Now I face paying these fix it bills or doing every D%$# thing myself. I just get discouraged and tired, then angry and I cry.
So in the heat of my frustration and light went off in my mind. Call Stillman, (hub's nephew) I called and I was beside myself, I told Stillman how I felt and I asked him what I could do to help me get over this dilemma, as it was not going to go away. I had to laugh at his reply, "From now on before you get to this point, you are going to call me." Yes his exact words. He came over Saturday night and had every single thing fixed in less than an hour. I am so blessed. I am also a cranky wife and an impatient wench.
I really don't know where the weekend went. But I do know that many great things that made me very happy got done. Sis spent a good part of the weekend helping Lil sis put away Christmas. It is a big, big job. I have not been over to help and I feel a little guilty, but I have so much I want to get done here. And I will get over there this week for sure.
Money Saving Madness 3rd week of January 2018
- Cooked all meals at home from scratch
- Tried to use things from freezer and storage as much as possible.
- Finally a butter sale limit 2 and I think sis and I have both gone at least 6 times.
- Made new napkins at a cost of less than $1 a piece. I rarely use paper towel unless it is for grease.
- Made an apron with scraps, Don't waste
- Turned the collar on one of Hub's expensive flannel shirts
- reused cottage cheese containers for leftovers.
- purchased .10 embroider floss at good will
- Used my clothes line for heavy flannel shirts and hubs heavy pants, also sheets and pillow cases
- Added several more squares of denim from pants I altered to help make a car quilt
- Completed another hand made gift under$5.00
- Walked buy many bargain bins without looking and when I looked I did not buy. *sniff* I loves me a bargain.
- Negotiated a better price on car repairs
- went through old pillow cases and pulled beautiful lace and trim from Sweden off old stained cases. I will reuse on cases I am currently making.
- Found a huge mistake on our cell phone bill. This has been going on for many months and they have to call me back with a fix. (READ YOUR BILLS OFTEN)
- Had Hub's nephew come over to fix three broken items in kitchen, I altered some new drapes for him and mended some suit pants. This cost me no money!
Well I need to take mom to Lil sis's and then I need to get busy in the shop.
Have a great and productive day, staying positive while you are in the negative.
Kim
It upsets me to hear you berate yourself for your husband's inability. My ex could do little, and when he did, I had to stand by and tell him what to do. I was the brains and he was the brawn. if he ever did anything by himself, it was backwards, he broke something or made it worse, or just plain wrong. I was so frustrated. I gave exbf a new doorknob and told him to read the instructions to humor me before he started. He was skeptical of his ability. He did fine.
ReplyDeleteI made 22"x22" napkins. Why? I don't know. I started making them 12x12 inches, and it cost less. After all, we don't eat with our hands! There is very seldom anything on them. If we need anything large, a towel is needed for the mess of something spilled. When I started making napkins, I had no scraps to make anything. Eventually, I found three different pieces to make small napkins of different sizes.
I found a guy who collected my cans for his scout troop who was in the military that helped with things around my house. He would fix a battery, pick up things, just helpful for things I absolutely could not do. When he found something he could not do, he called a friend. Eventually, I had a network of guys who helped me out. It was nice, very helpful. Now, I basically have no one to do even the simplest thing. It is frustrating. Even things exbf could do, he is not physically capable of doing. My father could do anything!
In the past I have often sewed for these men for the help they rendered. Their wives were glad for the trade. Trades work. My mechanic friend did not need sewing until about ten years later. But, he was glad to save two pair of bdu pants that he had torn up and washed over and over.
It is not your fault he is inept. I, too, hate to have a bunch of little, piddly things needed done and know I have to pay for costly repairs.
Forgive the poor grammar. I was upset...lol.
DeleteI don't think I would get so upset with him, but the majority of his trouble is that is was so lazy. Flat out lazy. He knows it and we cannot get those years back.
DeleteI can understand how you feel. I love my husband but he is not a good handyman at all. He will tell me that he doesn't feel like doing something and it will not get done at all. I have to pay for any and all repairs that are needed in the house or the two vehicles we own. He doesn't perform any kind of maintenance which can be a strain on our finances and relationship at times.
DeleteSounds like a very productive time!
ReplyDeleteIt was and I am so happy.
DeleteI am sorry you had a rough time with the repairs.. But , I have to say, as I read this and then the reply from Linda, it seemed really sad to me.. We, all of us, have certain things we do better than other things.. Apparently,your husbands expertise is not in the 'fix it " department.. But, sure he does other things well.. I know , if My husband talked bad about me and my abilities, I would be very hurt. And I also would be too nervous to even try to do it. When we got married , we agreed to help each other and encourage. It never mattered in our 46 yrs of marriage, which one made the most money [we were both out there on the work force . trying to support our family]. We both worked at making our home the best we could afford.
ReplyDeleteGetting out of debt is wonderful.. and it will happen. But don't overwork your self to the point that you are discouraged. My prayers go with your both.. Hope you have a good day.
I am happy your husbands nephew was able to fix the little things for you.. That was a big savings.And know made you feel better..
Have a blessed day.. and please know, I don't mean to sound mean..
I appreciate your point of view. Hub's is lazy, and he was much worse in the earlier years of our marriage. I carry a lot of baggage about it. He has gotten much better as he knows he has a real problem.When I find now that he can't or won't try to do the simplest things I get frustrated and angry. I know I shouldn't, but I do. All my held in emotion comes out and I just blow. I cannot forgive him for those years. I am trying, but I have flash backs and I fail. He plays the violin well and the viola and now the cello. He was a good father, although the girls all saw how lazy he was and they now get on him for it when they see he is abusing me with too much work. He is a great grandfather and he is trying to be better. I am the one with the problem and I know it. This is why his nephew's advice was so wonderful. Before I get to the point that I am angry, unforgiving and ungrateful, I need to call him. I also know that part of his unwillingness to do things is because he is afraid of my reaction, slowly I am working on him to be more independent in doing things by himself. It has been a hard, hard 40 years for us. I realize there are those that think I am really harsh, and I am, it just comes out of no where this demon of anger. I am a work in progress and so is Hub's. Thank you for your insight and thoughts.
DeleteShe should be able to vent about her frustrations without being made to feel bad about it. There is a difference between belittling and venting. This is her blog after all. Keeping things bottled up is not healthy and stressful. I believe some of her health issues may be aggravated by stress also. This is necessary for her. It also seems that this is not news to hubby, he seems to be aware of his limitations.
DeleteI also understand her frustrations. My hubby is a maintenance man, fixing all kinds of broken things, yet not one room in my house is completely finished. Not the end of the world, nor do I fuss at him about it, but frustrating none the less.
Judy,
DeleteYou are not helping the matter by telling us how great your husband was and how you handled things so well. And, then you pray for us, for what, to keep us out of the depths of HELL. Please, do not ever pray for me as you will just annoy me.You have got it exactly backwards--she is discouraged because she over-worked.I am going to quit now as your self-righteous attitude in the face of her despair is too much for me to bear.
Don't pick on my Judy she means well.
DeleteI am not picking on her.
DeletePratical Parsimony.. I am sorry if you took my post as a negative. I did not mean it that way at all.. No, I did not or do not, handle everything[including getting out of debt] so well.. It took years of being over our heads in debt to finally get out of it. it is a very hard road. And getting discouraged is so easy to do.. I meant to encourage her and her husband. My prayer is that no one would go to hell, And my prayers will continue for her, as she travels this road to debt freedom. I do not intend to sound self righteous. Sorry if you took it that way.
DeleteI know being over worked and discouraged is very hard.. and the reason is............I have been there quiet a few times.
Not sure why so many people are jumping in on you - sounds like you are 100% justifiable in how you feel. The past is hard to keep in the past, but you both acknowledge the issues, which is a big thing. My husband can fix things - our problem is that he always breaks at least three other things in the process. The frustration is real. The broken things are real. Doesn't change how I feel about him, but it does add unneeded stress when our house needs so much work.
ReplyDeleteI know but I wold like to get over the past and have it be in the past.
DeleteHope you feel better now that things are repaired.
ReplyDeleteI am so Happy, Happy Dance!
DeleteI'm so glad that you got all the stuff fixed! I hate paying for things I think I should be able to do myself.
ReplyDeleteI know I hate it also.
DeleteI feel your pain. At least some of it. My husband is not lazy. But he cannot change a light bulb. Can. Not. He has not one logical bone in his body. This makes me crazy because I am logical beyond reason. I just can't fathom how one's brain doesn't work like mine. So I become unreasonably angry when he can't take care of the simplest of repairs because I don't have time. He has, over time, begun to call on his friends when he is stumped (which is always), so that we don't have to pay repairmen every time. It's an ongoing struggle. So glad your husband's nephew is such a gem!
ReplyDeleteI am so happy to see I am not the only one that struggles with this.
DeleteOk, I had to lol at the post and the comments!! I feel the same way so often when we need something done at our house. I do the research, tell him how to do it, and then he will finally do it. And he usually does a great job, but it takes a looooong time for him to get up his energy to actually do it! I can feel your frustration and I'm sure many others can too, if they just admit it. I'm sure I work my husband's nerves too with plenty of things I do or don't do. Hey, we are human and we feel what we feel!
ReplyDeleteSee I am not the only one. This makes me feel better.
DeleteI actually do understand your frustration. Although my hubby has always been good about fixing things, he wasn't always the best provider. There were several years of our marriage where I was the main breadwinner. Whenever money was tight, I'd be the one working extra hours. To this day I remember the resentment I felt towards him. Ultimately he made a couple of career and job changes and now our financial roles are reversed. To this day (despite my asking him) I don't know what prompted him to change. Now he could care less whether I work or not, although I still do, just not near as much as I used to. He is happy with me taking care of our home and pets and repeatedly tells me so. I guess the change had to come within him and I'm ever so thankful he did decide to change. I wish I could offer you some words of wisdom. I just want you to know you aren't the only one who has ever felt this way.
ReplyDeleteI think if I could just get an apology. Or he would admit things it would be better. But it is the past. It can't be undone, and I need to move on and I struggle with this.
Delete(((((((((HUGS))))))))) and I am sorry about what has happened in the past and the scars that has left on your heart. I am glad that your husband's nephew is able to help you get things fixed and also is a great resource to help you so you will not feel as much stress when things do need to be fixed in the future.
ReplyDelete