Hospice workers were here at 9 a.m. this morning and they were very nice. Mom's condition is such that she doesn't really fit any diagnosis. Medicare is very strict about this and I can see why. As this is a free service they must be careful that it is end of life care. I feel she meets the criteria, but we will see. What I do know is that I am done with the hospital dance. We will see a neurologist and that is the last of the visits. I will give her medication that I feel will make her comfortable and help with her anxiety and pain. If we have to we will hire people to come in and help.
It is obvious to me now that mom is having seizures as when her meds wore off she was able to walk a little, talk although confused. She has a hard time getting words out. Night time is awful as she is up and extremely agitated. But I am through arguing with her and I am going to just do what I think is best.
I had a good friend bring dinner by last night which was lovely. I need to buy groceries and might try and sneak out later today, but the shop will be busy. It was very busy yesterday and I have much to do today. B (D#3) is here until 4 p.m. so that will help. B can come down M-W next week to help and then Lil sis has Sat-Sun. So that leaves me two days to find a care giver. The problem is nights. Even with getting up with mom last night a couple of times I still was able to get almost 7 hours of sleep and I can handle that.
I have a wedding dress to get out today and several other things. I would like to cook something for dinner as I have not cooked since last Wed. I find comfort in those kinds of tasks, silly I know. Cleaning, ironing, cooking, planting, all bring me a sense of peace at this time. I think I will make meatloaves. Cheryl suggested making extra mashed potatoes and freezing in cupcake cups and then rebagging in containers. Mom loves mashed potatoes so I will do this. I get such great ideas from the blogs. Thanks Cheryl, Cheryl's frugal Corner.
Well I am off to get some work done and try to get a bill paid off. Life goes on and we are lucky to live it.
Thank you so much for the comfort wishes and the prayers it really means a lot.
Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.
Kim
I can see how the mundane everyday chores bring peace by creating a sense of normalcy. I thought the doctor was the person who needed to sign, attesting to the fact she was at end of life. good luck with all the work and care she needs.
ReplyDeleteOh my friend, you are such a sweet daughter trying to do what is best for your mom. I wish I lived down near you and could help you out in person. Know that my love and prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteIt's not silly--many times the simple tasks of homemaking help to calm the mind and soothe the spirit.
ReplyDeleteWhen I am at the end of my rope I have a need to bake and sweep. I can do both without thinking and I think it is doing something from rote memory that is calming to me.
ReplyDeleteLots of demand on you. Praying strength and wisdom.
ReplyDeleteKeep trying the things that you feel are working. You're doing the best you can for her and no one could be more caring.
ReplyDeleteHi Kim,
ReplyDeleteI took care of both of my parents for a long time, 9years. They each went into hospice at a hospital facility. I could not do it at home. I was toast. But once you agree to palliative/hospice care, the ambulance runs and trips to the ER are finished. You need to stay connected with the team providing the care. They will instruct you and help you through the whole thing. Hospice nurses are really gentle kindhearted people. My heart does go out to you and anyone taking care of sick and/or elderly people. It is really hard work. It's not like anything you have ever done. Take care of yourself because you need to! Take care Barb in PA
Praying for all of you now.
ReplyDeleteLaura
It's not silly at all to keep your hands busy at stressful times. AND, it gets the cleaning done at the same time. I have had some really stressful times in my life, and would just knit washcloths---back and forth, back and forth in a garter stitch, which is about the only thing I can do with knitting. For hours in the night, as I was working through a really tough situation in our lives, I would knit. I gave them away for Christmas. I had quite a few:).
ReplyDeleteBeing in your kitchen and outside in your garden (especially your garden) will help you to cope and your beautiful garden will soothe your soul. Go for nature walks if you can manage it - I find I feel closest to God when I am outside. He is with you on this journey and will provide what you need.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you.