Have you ever had a case of money on the brain? You know when things are not going really well in your life financially and all you can think about is money? Or perhaps the lack of it?
Having money on the brain, can become an all encompassing thought process that leads to becoming something I call cheap.
I am all about frugality and saving money. I like to see how long I can make something last. I like to take care of things so they don't break or wear out. I like to cook from scratch to save money. I like to stock up on food when it is on sale in order to save money. I only buy clothes when they are on really good sales. I rarely eat out, not that I don't enjoy it, but that it costs so much and I can usually cook better at home. I try not to buy things I don't need.
I think many people equate frugality with being cheap. But to me there are huge differences.
A frugal person when they go out to eat with a group will pay their share and tip the waitstaff.
A cheap person will try to get out of paying the bill altogether or not pay their share and then stiff the waitstaff (my brother in law)
A frugal person will try and purchase good quality clothing on sale and will try and look nice.
A cheap person does not care about what they look like as long as it is free even if it is worn out or does not fit. They may buy the cheapest shoes that wear out the fastest.
A frugal person plans their meals, searches food adds and tries to put good wholesome food together to make a menu.
A cheap person will forgo nutrition for the cheapest food available even if it is poor quality or not nutritious. They will eat spoiled and burned food or serve you spoiled or burned food.
A frugal person contributes their share, it may be homemade but it is good quality
A cheap person is always looking for a way not to contribute.
A frugal person plans ahead and does activities and pays their own way.
A cheap person uses others and tries to get others to pay for them.
A frugal person will do the best that they can to have nice surroundings even if their things are second hand.
A cheap person does not care what their surroundings look like. I have seen, holes and stuffing coming out of furniture, threadbare carpets, door handles missing. Nothing cared for, no pride as long as they don't have to spend any money.
A frugal person will have a well taken care of older car.
A cheap person may not own a car but they can afford one. Or their car may be constantly broken down because it is not cared for, or heck better yet, you can give them a ride.
A frugal person will have a couple of drinks at home.
A cheap person will only drink your liquor.
A frugal person sees money as a way to achieve a goal.
A cheap person hoards money for the sake of hoarding money with no goal or thought of spending any money in the future.
We all know or have know cheap people. My husbands family really struggles with cheapness. I think it might be hereditary. They will use you if you are not careful. Hubs is the only one of his brothers and sisters who has an even temperament about money. My brothers are terrible users, they are not cheap but will only buy for themselves.
A frugal person is still generous.
A Cheap person would never think to help another.
So when it comes to money are you cheap? OR are you frugal? DO you know someone who is cheap? Have you been taken advantage of by someone who is cheap? How did you handle it?
Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.
Kim
Did you mean 'a frugal person will only drink your liquor'? or did you mean cheap? I think I am frugal in some ways but can be cheap with myself.
ReplyDeleteJ.P.in the UK
I can be very cheap with myself but I try and be generous with others.
DeleteFrugal - you know it. AMEN
ReplyDeleteRight there with you sister!
DeleteTommy is very cheap but surprises me some days!
ReplyDeleteI had a friend who would share a cost of something with me. If the price was $2.23, for instance, she would hand me $1.11, saying as she laughed, that was her share. Her salary was 10 times my income when I was in school and she was fully employed. Sometimes, she tried to just pay half of an item and leave the tax for me. Not funny.
Isn't it weird how some people can be such user's?
DeleteI'm lucky that most of my family is thoughtful with money. Despite not having a lot, they are very generous and not cheap at all. For example, they sometimes would ask me to get a gift for the kids for their birthday (pick it out, order it) & then reimburse me. They always want to pay more, to cover my time, etc. Meanwhile, I usually try to discount how much I paid, if they won't find out, to save them money, as I make more than them by such a large margin. Our family is very generous.
ReplyDeleteMy husband's family operates differently, but we have almost zero exposure (and, sending funds back & forth to Iran is illegal, so out of the question). They are very frugal, but the value of money between the two countries is staggering, which creates issues. A flight to the US, for example, would represent a year's salary.
I think some cultures look at frugality in a different way than we do. Some cultures teach one to be a user, if the person doesn't stand up for them selves they deserve to be taken advantage off. It is just a cultural thing. I know nothing about Iran's culture or at least very little.
DeleteGreat post showing the differences between being frugal and being cheap. I am frugal.
ReplyDeleteMe too!
DeleteMy family is very generous. One uncle let me live with him for free during law school. Another uncle paid for my tuition (this was after I was halfway through and they saw I was serious, so I did pay for half of my law school.) My mom retired and babysat my kids when they were about five years old and up, after my divorce. I would never have been able to do what I did on the job without my mom's support in taking care of my four kids. The three boys, in turn, like I said on the last post, took care of my mom during her last seven years on earth. They lived with her, taking turns around the clock, because she could not be left alone. They did this while working other jobs, for the most part. Mom had alzheimers and then pancreatic cancer killed her. While my daughter was away in school and later in the military, she came home often as possible. I could never have continued to work and build up a retirement without their help. I, in turn, help my kids as much as possible. I have no doubt they will take care of me in my old age. Even if they did not, they helped me by helping with my mom. My mom helped me by helping me with the kids when they were little. I am forever grateful for my mom, my uncles, and my kids. They are all thrifty people. But they are also all very generous people, truly the salt of the earth. They were very good, country folks, not rich in money, but rich in ethics and integrity. My ex's family was a totally different story. Cindy in the South
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful. My very cheap mother in law babysat my eldest 4 days a week so I could finish my double major in college. She would not babysit any of her other grand kids. But she knew I had to graduate because her son would never be able to support a family. It became obvious after we were married 10 years (80% of this time unemployed) that his career would never support anyone. She did this to help me and to keep us together. Well it worked and I am thankful everyday to her for that. My mother lived with me the last 3 years of her life and she hated my husband with a passion. She never had a kind word to say to him and he was always good to her. I try and go out of my way to be good to Hubs folks and I will never let either of them go to a rest home. I think the rest of Hubs brothers and sisters would let both of them languish there rather than put them selves out. But I might be wrong.
DeleteGood comparison between frugal and cheap. I think I am mostly frugal but hubby thinks I buy too cheap trash bags. I do have a couch in the family room that the cats have shredded the back. I haven't been able to find cat proof furniture (is there such a thing)
ReplyDeleteNo there is not, but a good scratching post laced periodically with cat nip has worked for us.
DeleteI worried about $ from 1986-1992 d/t waaaayy too much spending from 1983-1986. We did absolutely nothing for those years to pay down the stupid credit cards with high interest.
ReplyDeleteI'm frugal-I've never been cheap. If we couldn't afford our share, we didn't go.
I buy quality and I pay cash. I drove the same car for 17y and saved up for my dream car. It is likely my last car even though I'm just 59. I love it! And so much fun to write the check :-)
Dad's lesson: the dollars take care of themselves (we always pay the big monthly bills), it's the pennies you have to watch! It is soooooo true!
I know and it took me so long to figure that out.
DeleteHi Kim,
ReplyDeleteunfortunately we always have money on the brain. The lack of money but I have accepted it. My life has always been a lack of money and I don't see it changing any time soon. God provides all we need when we need it. No less no more but what is needed. As for being cheap. I'm like you. I'm frugal. We don't eat out. Haven't in almost 20 yrs. It's SO expensive and I can make healthier food at home for less money. Yeah I know it's about getting out but there are many other thing to do to get out that don't cost that much or anything at all.
My husband is cheap but he's learning. Only took 23 years...LOL.. I have finally got it through his head that if you're going to buy something, save up to buy a quality item so it lasts for a long time. If something breaks, we see if it we can fix it before buying new. We used to belong to the throw away society. "oh it doesn't work? Eh, throw it out we'll go buy a new one" then one day I sat down and thought of all the times we did that and all the money we have wasted over the years..
It took me a long time to learn how to live within my means or below my means but live well and sometimes I still struggle but I am better, much better than I used to be so I would say I am Frugal. Not cheap..
Oh Robyn you and I jumped off the same star. I do think I have money on the brain but I do try not to be cheap.
Delete"A cheap person does not care about what they look like as long as it is free even if it is worn out or does not fit. They may buy the cheapest shoes that wear out the fastest." I regularly wear some fairly worn out denim skirts, and often don't care about putting on makeup. I'm not out to impress anybody. If it's clean, fits, and is appropriate for the activity, it's fine. My favorite wardrobe revitalization was poring through my bestie's bag of discarded clothing--this went on for about 10 years, until we moved too far apart. The main difference between cheap and frugal, (IMO) is that cheapness saves money at the cost of another individual.
ReplyDeleteHey I have a few old denim skirts that I love, they are soft and comfy, but they are clean. You don't have to look like a princess. But I have known cheap people who do not care at all about their appearance in purporting their cheapness and I think that is just..... icky. You are right I love that cheapness saves money at the cost of another, that is perfect!
DeleteI'm know as being thrifty by friends and family, but I don't think anyone would call me cheap. I would ever let a family member or good friend do without needs, nor would I ever game a freebie off another person. Being cheap is taking advantage of a situation, a person, a loop hole, and never giving back. I like saving money and getting freebies as much as the next person, but that helps me add a little more to a donation, a gift box, something that makes my money go a bit farther and hopefully gives a little extra to someone else. You my friend do not have a cheap bone in your body. I agree with Meg and have shared this view myself before-cheap saves money at the cost of another individual. I'll add cheap is always accepting the gift, the food, the drink, the ride, without ever reciprocating. I don't mean tisk for task reciprocating because we all have different means, but never doing so and being proud of it is cheap.
ReplyDeleteI love what Meg said it is so perfect.
DeleteYour list of differences between frugal and cheap is just perfect.
ReplyDeleteI hope I fall in the frugal column for most things.
God bless.
I am sure you do, my friend.
DeleteA great post showing the differences Kim - well written.
ReplyDeleteThanks Julie, well except for the typos.
DeleteHave to add a cute story, I have 12 grandkid, my two oldest kids have 6 each. up till Covid I was so blessed to be able to spend more time and activities with them. I even bought a 7 passenger SUV to chauffeur more kids around! But we had a pattern where I’d take one sons kids (6 kids) and we’d go through Arby’s which had a happy hour of dollar items..... which they were allowed to get, sliders, fries, shakes etc. Well one grandkid,10 at the time said “Grandma are you the cheap grandma?” And I said “yes Reed I am” ha! (Believe me his other grandma isn’t). But I’m frugal mostly, sometimes cheap but not for others cause the after school dollar menu really is fine for a snack ha! (I also took my older 6 after school skiing about an hour from our town every Friday in the winter for the skiing and rentals for 5 years till Covid hit, not very inexpensive but I did pack a supper! So I think everyone has things they spend on and things they don’t (of course if they’re financially able to.) years ago I was very strapped and managed money very poorly.
ReplyDeleteMy mother was anything but cheap with her grand kids and had terrible money management skills all of which she passed on to me. My oldest started to notice that hubs mom never took her shopping for one more toy but always had her help make cookies, or dessert (usually burned) but child didn't care she just wanted to help. She said one of my grandma's is a shopping grandma and the other is the baking grandma. She loved both equally.
Delete