Saturday, February 24, 2018

Saturday, Thoughts about debt

     As most of you know who read this blog, I am obsessed about my debt situation and saving money.  I love to get ideas off of Pinterest and other money saving web-sites.  I have written before about my frustration with many of the lists that people put out to quell overspending in your budget, as so many of the items they tell you to cut, I just didn't spend money on anyway, so they were of no use to me. Examples: Cable (had this for 2 months 30 years ago), We don't drink coffee, or tea ( now if I could just give up diet coke), we don't smoke or drink.  We eat out very rarely.  I have always stockpiled food.  I have always cooked from scratch.  I have always had a garden.  I have always canned and froze my leftover produce.  I have made my own bread.  You get the idea?

     I think what I was or am looking for is the miracle cure for my debt.  The one big secret that will be the ah ha moment and I will instantly solve the problem.  When you are in debt, especially consumer debt, it is usually because one lacks the ability to say no to your instant need for gratification.  We or I want all that colorful, wonderful stuff the stores have.  I want to drive a nice or newer car.  I want lots of clothes and cute shoes ( well I did until my feet were ruined by dancing and arthritis).  So once we give in to our wants, we find ourselves deep in the hole to consumer debt.  We are then slaves to the credit card companies and the car loans, and the big house, etc.

     Are you in debt?  Do you constantly look for ways to cut expenses, only to see that you are already doing just that?  I just did not ever think that all these little stupid things that people were doing would ever help.  So I don't use paper towels.  How is that going to help me pay my $350.00 Visa bill?  That is chump change. You get angry and justify that you cannot do or won't do any of these stupid, piddly little things.  What you need is something that will help you trim (if you are even willing to retrench)enough money to take the burden of the debt off your back.

     So we go looking for solutions.  We get a consolidation loan, we get a home equity line, we get another credit card, we borrow money from our parents, we pick up another side job.  But we don't fix the problem which is spending more than you make.  Soon and usually with in a year we are right back where we were before.  I have been here many, many times.  It has taken years for me to admit that I am a compulsive shopper.  I love to shop, and I justified it by only buying things on sale.  Great I did save money but I also spent money I did not have, on something we did not need.

     How, how how? do we get over this viscous cycle of debt? When does the light go off that finally brings you to the realization that you might be the problem?  When will it ever occur to you that no one is coming to rescue you?  The buck stops with you. Painful as it seems you are the problem.

More on this subject.......

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.

Kim

26 comments:

  1. So I'm not the only one obsessed with getting out of debt? I think the magic pill is in being (as Dave Ramsey often says) truly sick and tired of being sick and tired. Hubs and I have half-heartedly tried before, but this around are finally sticking with it. There is honestly nothing out there that I want more than to get out of debt once and for all! Keep at it. I'm rooting for you, Kim!

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    1. It has taken years, and many.many changes to get myself to this point. Mostly it is because I don't care what people think anymore. Well that is not true, but I don't care if people think I am weird trying to save money.

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  2. I have read all those articles about "Ten ways to curb spending," or how to save $1000 this next month." Yes, I was doing none of those things. Mine is not consumer debt. I do not do lots of things I should cut out. It is maddening. Cute shoes? They still make those?

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  3. I love to save money, mainly because it allows me to stay at home with my son, run my house the way I want to, and tackle any projects that I want. We have some debt, but it's being whittled away steadily, so there's no pressure. I love being creative, seeing what I can do with what God has put in my hands. I read all those articles too, and laugh when I realize that I have at least tried almost everything they list. I am also into making a game out of frugality, even coining my own term 'Thriftology'. I look forward to more on this topic. Get well soon!

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    1. I think making a game out of it is fun, it is a challenge.

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  4. I am not a spender and am one of those people who hate to shop, but I need to be more deliberate about what I buy and when I buy it. I will never be like Sluggy and have the stores pay me to shop, but I need to pay more attention to the yearly sales and buy things I need when they are their absolute lowest. Of course I did that when I purchased my InstaPot on Black Friday. And now it sits on the counter in pristine condition because I have not taken the time to read the instruction manual. Yeah, that was a smart buy wasn't it.

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    1. I have seen and read about those, but have yet to buy one as I don't think I will use it.

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  5. While we don't have debt, other than the 0 interest car loan that techincally we could pay off at any time (sorry trying not to sound gloaty), but our older children do, which I feel guilty about. They both wanted the additional schooling, but I still feel like we could have done more either advice wise, or tightened belts ealrier. Both are doing just fine, paying their bills, eating healthy, living in safe places,but neither are getting ahead because of the low wages compared to debt ratio. While I have taught them both well, and they leanred well enough on their own to curb their wants and are active practicing thrifters, it will be a decade before they are out of debt unless something big happens in their lives. I am just grateful that none of us are keep up with the jones's kind of people, enjoy a good beer ana pizza (or reatively inexpensive wine and spaghetti) as opposed to champagen and lobster. I detest shopping so rarely shop for fundo so unless I have a need. Hang in there Kim-you are chipping away, little by little.

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    1. We helped put all three of our girls through college and two through advanced degrees, it has been after the last one graduated a few years ago that I was really able to start paying attention to this problem.

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  6. Oh wow.. This is a great post. I think that Lucy hit it on the nail. You have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired of being in debt. That is where I was at the beginning of 2017. And 2017 was indeed challenging for me, but I did okay. Could I have done better? Yes. But I kept moving forward. Here it is 2018 and I am focused. It truly is a mind set.

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    1. I have a tried to get out of debt so many times but this time I am serious and I will not stop until I owe nothing.

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  7. Hubby and I have pretty much stayed out of debt all our married lives, except for mortgages. (We did buy our present home with cash, though, a foreclosure and a great deal!) We both came from frugal families, so that helped a lot. We are also DIY people, and that has saved a ton over decades of marriage. My husband had always done all our automotive work and home repair and remodeling, with me as his trusty helper. I am not a shopper and never really have been. I go to the mall once a year to buy my bras and underwear. Everything else is ordered online when needed or bought at a thrift store. Our four children, all college grads, seem pretty thrifty too!



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    1. Wish I was you:). I was taught and encouraged to go into debt by my mother who had terrible money skills. Both my twin and I learned early to spend. spend, spend. It is the way we got our mothers approval. Now I can blame her or I can do something about it. I am doing something abut it.

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    2. My parents were very good with money - but they did not share that knowledge with me. In Dave Ramsey terms I am both free spirit and nerd; a giver and not so good of a saver. At 56 I was diagnosed with MDD/GAD and am working through that too. Slowly going forward and still slipping back some days. Mindfulness, or paying attention, is becoming a new habit for me. Staying home and looking at my blessings is also helpful!

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    3. I am not familiar with this expand please:)

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    4. MDD - Major Depressive Disorder
      GAD - General Aanxiety Disorder

      They tend to go together, the medicine is helping, but unlearning the habits of shopping or other no so good financial choices as a coping method are hard

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    5. I bet they are, I am sorry as depression is so hard to combat.

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  8. We were debt free for a couple of years, but that didn't mean we had no expenses. There are still those intangible things like health, car and home insurance that need to be paid for and of course utilities. Our biggest expense is food. What put us back in debt were some dental expenses we put on our cc. Then some car repairs and veterinarian bills....it's easy to get back into debt without actually shopping. I hate to shop. I rarely see the inside of a mall and I haven't step foot in Wally World in over two years. I do, however, frequent the home centers and we buy plants, mulch and stuff like that, but we figure it's home equity. Don't be so hard on yourself. Enjoy your life. Be happy.

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    1. I am trying to find joy in this journey. You are right it is easy to get back into debt without shopping.

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  9. Kim, I'm so sorry that - after such an industrious and energetic life - you are facing debt worries: it just doesn't seem fair. I can't offer practical help or advice but please know that I'm thinking about you and praying for you.

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    1. Why thank you, I sometimes wonder if the debt is what keeps me going? It's a thought.

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  10. I am not in debt but there were times in my life that I was. Even now that I am not all the ways I lived still carry over now. If we need to buy something we tend to try and find it used first (even cute shoes). Of course there are some things I don't buy used like underwear/bras/socks but just shifting your way of thinking will get you closer to being out of debt. Sometimes debt is inevitable - the very lean times, when someone is sick etc. Just stay the course, not fun but slowly things will change for you

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    1. I know, I can see that I am changing my attitude. Thank you.

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