Thursday, Frozen, scared and blessed

     I completed my 15th chart and I am onto my 16th.  So I am pretty proud of that as I wanted to complete another before the end of the month.

     As the little were here yesterday I did not get much done in the shop.  I did do hand work last night for a while.

     I am going to clean up a few messes around here and maybe myself before I start sewing today.

     The dog chewed up an envelope with junk mail in it and it is all over .

     The family room needs love.

     I read on a post about clutter something I really love and is helping me with my clutter, messy, sloppy gene.  (It is a gene)

What is clutter?  "Anything that is not in its rightful place."  Isn't that a great way to look at this problem?  So the empty coke can, the 2 spools of thread (taken from dog), canister of sewing clips (taken from a little) the note pad, and the stake of mail and receipts, don't belong on the desk, those things are clutter.  This makes it much easier for my OCD brain to process and not get overwhelmed.

     Sissie made the best chicken pie I have ever eaten yesterday.  She is an incredible cook.  I can never get it as perfect as hers.

     Frozen:

1. I have enough money to pay off everything I owed except the new car which is at 0 % and the house which is at 3.33%.

2. I plan on paying off a debt of just under $9,000.00 and then leaving the last debt of about $5,000 to pay off slowly.

3.  I plan on paying extra to the house off at least $1000.00 a month starting in September.

4.  As the car is at 0% and we put down a large down payment it will always be above water.

5.  This will leave me $15,000.00 of my inheritance.

Scared:

1.  Part of me says just keep paying the two remaining debts and don't touch mom's money.  IT is the only legacy you will ever get.  Use this for something special like a down payment on a piece of land.

2.  If you use your inheritance  to pay everything off  then you can replace the money after you have the house and car paid off. Or you could put a significant amount back into the account every month.

3.  Then I become very scared as I have been so bad with money in the past, I think I will never get to the point of paying it back.  I will just become stupid me and spend money foolishly.

4.  But then I think to myself, "will you ever be able to spend money foolishly again?"  "Are you not over your stupidity?"  Does an alcoholic, never crave alcohol again?

5.  If I pay everything off I will have $10,000.00 in my inheritance account.

6.  I vacillate between frozen and scared and I don't know what to do.

Blessed:

1.  I realize how blessed I am for this moment in my life.

2.  I still have $5,500.00 coming from the studio sale

3.  I have renters for another month and the potential of always having at least one renter.

4.  I have a business that does very well

So here I sit Frozen much or the time, Scared most of the time, blessed all of the time.

What would you do?

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.

Kim