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I had a real crying jag today, brought on by going to the SS office and finding out that the SS number on the death certificates was wrong, even though they knew Joel was dead as they had already gotten it correct from hospital. So somewhere along the line it was transposed. I guess I was supposed to catch it, but how could I when I was not home where my records were, and I could hardly have Joel tell me. What a mess now they want a court order and anywhere from $695-1295.00 to fix it and $40.00 more per correct certificate. Anyway, Sissie to the rescue and it looks like the Crematorium is going to eat it as we could prove that SS already had correct info from hospital. So much stress and I had a meltdown.
I have not really cried since Christmas day. This is just so hard.
Joel's nephew came last night and switched my light fixtures and put a new really bright one in the shop. He also put new blinds up in both the shop and the spare room. He hung the handmade quilt Jess bought me in Hawaii. Just a lot of drilling and moving things. So now we just wait for the carpet and floor guys on Monday.
Sissie and I cleaned out both freezers and took food to people in the church and little sis. Just things I will not get eaten in time. We also thoroughly cleaned the fridge. We are going to go through the food storage next week. But not until we get the shop and the bedroom back together.
I have an appointment with SSI on Feb 2 for survivor benefits. I am just a mess. Waking up way too early and then not being able to go back to sleep.
Hardwoods are going to be put throughout the rest of the house starting next week. The laminate floor we have is very poor quality and is lifting. Nate my son in law and his dad are doing it for cost. My son in law laid hard wood for years before he married our daughter. What a blessing. But also, a mess!
Can't wait to show pictures of the final results.
I have a headache from crying. Sissie is making me rice krispie treats. I think I will eat the whole pan.
Kim
I wish I was close as I would make you anything you feel like eating and just let you cry, scream, whatever you need. My MIL didn't allow herself the emotions she deserved and I hope no one ever has to bury their grief.
ReplyDeleteRice Krispie treats, oh man. One rainbow in a sky of rain clouds for sure on that issue ;). The flooring sounds beautiful and it keeps you busy. Glad your sissie is there! I have to count on my schnauzer as my helper…lots of friends offered to help but I am better on my own right now. Take care, hugs and healing sparkles for you. Hilogene in Az
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, too, Hilogene. I can't imagine. So very sorry. We just sold our home in AZ last spring (we were up in NW Valley - Trilogy at Vistancia) or I'd reach out to offer a shoulder. Hang in there!
DeleteContinued prayers for you Hilogene as well as Kim. Cindy in the South
DeleteHealing sparkles to you as well, Hilogene. Thinking of you.
DeleteThinking of you ,Hilogene, as you go through all this unexpected change alone.
DeleteRice Krispie's ought to help everything be better. SS--Such a mess and so expensive to correct and not even your fault! Hardwood will be so much better to keep nice. I am getting to where I hate carpet. Just don't cry on the Rice Krispies unless you really want.
ReplyDeleteAhh, Kim. I hope you can feel my arms around you giving you a hug. Cry all that you need to.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
I know how you are struggling to get through every waking hour. The one thing I can think of is you might be able to complete getting your SS survivor benefits without having to go in. I would check with them on Monday, you may just be able to do it online. That is how I did it, did not have to make a special trip. I will say my husband passed and it was 9 years until I could claim his SS but I did not have to do in. Seems like I filled it out online and emailed a picture of the death cerficate and I got the first deposit at the next of the first month.
ReplyDeleteIt is more than likely that things will go wrong or other documentation will be needed as you get all the ducks in a row. Those are the times I had a good cry and then gather what they requested. I just found it so much easier to do things online or in the mail if you have the choice. Continue to have patience and be kind to yourself!!
So glad your Sissie is there to help. Having to navigate all that paperwork snafu by yourself would be even harder. Sending lots of hugs.
ReplyDeleteOnly eat them if they are her peanut butter ones!
ReplyDeleteWell what a crapola mess - so glad Sissie got you through it. They made the mistake - not you - too bad for them. So wrong to even suggest it cost you money.
ReplyDeleteYES - eat the whole darn pan if you want! Sometimes silly things help. Also cry - it really does help. Just lets the floodgates open and the pain seems to flow out a little.
Huge hugs. Wish I could help.
Continued prayer Kim. Eat what you want. Hugs. Cindy in the South
ReplyDeleteMaybe when you go back to the SS office you'll get someone who can better help you and not scare you with exorbitant fees - I imagine numbers are incorrect quite often. Maybe that's how they make more money. My sister, whose husband died in late November, found out that she can continue collecting her husband's Social Security benefits because she is of full retirement age and still working. When she does retire, she will begin collecting her (higher) amount. Glad your sister went with you.
ReplyDeleteEat the whole pan! We won’t tell! Big, big hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteDebbie
The ss number on our son's death certificate was wrong also. His daughter nor I caught it until she received a paper with his ss number on it. I called the county recorder office and they told us the furneral home had to be the one to correct it and they did but also meant a cost to granddaughter getting several new death certificates. It's very frustrating when there is so much to do after someone pass away. Sending hugs Kim.
ReplyDeleteAll of the love & hugs & good thoughts to you. Like Sam, I wish you were closer, because I'd be by with a pot of soup, some bread & all of the treats you want. I'd bring wine, but I can't remember if you drink or not. Non alcoholic drinks can be delicious. Definitely a diet soda for you.
ReplyDeleteHow lovely that your son in law can help with the flooring.
There is nothing wrong with tears. It is pretty normal to be raw and on edge, especially with such a cluster (well you know the next word) about the death certificate.
ReplyDeleteI hope the Rice Krispies treats helped. I know they would help me, but only if they had added chocolate chips. Claim the pan and dare anyone to eat one of them.
I think Sluggy and I need to head that way.
I am a widow and must tell you that crying jags are quite acceptable and normal. Perhaps even healthy for us. I cried so much at one point I thought I could never cry again as all my allotment of tears for a lifetime were cried. Enjoy little moments and caring people around you, like your son in law installing wood floors. One day at a time.
ReplyDeleteEveryone processes grief differently. You do whatever the hell you feel like doing! I wish I could be there to help you my friend. Just please remember to take it slow. Hugs and prayers always!
ReplyDeleteI can feel your grief pouring out and it's heart wrenching. I'm with everyone, you do whatever you want or need to get through this. We are here for you. Love and prayers always.
ReplyDeleteHugs. 15 months ago I lost my dad in the same unexpected way. And same cause of death. He was only 66 BUT as unexpected at it was, it truly wasnt as he had health problems....some addressed and some ignored. I can relate to your daughters on that side.
ReplyDelete2 years ago my uncle died the exact same unexpected way. (Not the same side as my dad..no relation to each other). Heart attack and gone. My aunt didn't listen to the adage don't make big decisions for a year and sold her house and belongings almost immediately and moved. It was what she felt she had to do because he died in their home and she just could not stay there. 2 years later she has some regrets of decisions but mainly it has worked out as best it could and she has no regrets about that.
You do you Kim. Listen to your girls and give some thought to things they may have a clearer mind on, but in the end you know what's best. I pray you find peace as time moves on.
Jackie
I didn't cry for a solid 6 months, when that dam broke I almost lost my mind... cry now...
ReplyDeleteEat the whole pan, cry, do whatever comes to you. One day at a time, one step at a time. Sending you love.
ReplyDelete(((((Kim))))) My heart goes out to you in this time of grief. I’m so very sorry you are going through this. I’ll be praying for peace and comfort for you. 🙏
ReplyDeleteSending big hugs to you, Kim! Eat all the Rice Krispie treats!
ReplyDeleteMy brother said he dealt with this over Daddy. He called the estate lawyer and it was a done deal
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to let you know I think about you everyday, much love to you
ReplyDeleteOh Kim. One Family just let me know of your loss. I am shocked and so very sorry. Eat a pan of treats, eat two...do whatever you need to do! Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, praying for you... HUGS Kim
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, Kim. And Hilogene, and Sam. Praying all three of you will be surrounded by friends/family to life you up during these painful, sad days.
ReplyDeleteHere for all of you - wish there were something I could do for each of you, but holding you all in thought & prayers is what I can offer. (((HUG))) to Kim, Hilogene & Sam.