It is so nice to just touch, and the shade moves. This house as huge windows. I still need to do the dining room and the master bedroom, but they only had one blackout shade for the master so I will wait until I can get two at the same time.
I am starting to wonder of being crazy busy, behind is better for me than having spare time or feeling that I have spare time, as I sure have been in the dumps. I guess this grief thing is a returning nightmare. Dang it anyway.
A picture of Kelsa always makes me smile. Actually, Kelsa makes me smile.
I made myself sew yesterday but I kept having so many problems with the machine and me and mistakes. I usually don't make mistakes. SO frustrating.
Today I have little I have to do and couple of things. I bought three blueberry bushes to plant, but I think they might need cages. So, I need to go buy some more chicken wire.
Thanks for all the well wishes, this is just so hard and hate it. You have no idea how much I just want to feel normal. I know it has to be a new normal. I don't like myself, when I am in a pity party, and self-absorbed. Just not me.
Kim
She is so stinking cute.
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself up. It stinks - no uncertain terms. We can hold each other up and pray and just do our best!
Thank you Cheryl I know you understand me and that helps alot.
DeleteKelsa is beyond cute! Thank you for the photo;). And glad to see you posted again quickly, I was sad at your sadness. I was thinking grief was like a sine wave, up and down. But when I went to a mental wellness counselor and we talked about grief, she said she visualized it like a sideways spiral where the beginning loops are big and then over time the spiral shrinks in size. So she suggested the grief ups and downs would continue but at a smaller amplitude. Not sure I explained it well. Think of it like a tomato trellis, big at the top and smaller at the bottom ;). Happy planting, hilogene in Az
ReplyDeleteI might need to go to a counselor I have been thinking about it.
DeleteI'm still thinking of runaway places. Yeah, let's really think about that cruise next winter- if my brain isn't mush before then. Hilogene, that might be how my brain is operating, and my heart. I'm just so dang sad all the time, but must keep doing things done in normal time. I wish I could get good sleep. No grandkids, but the pups help me.
ReplyDeleteI am all up for that. This is just really hard and it comes and goes and time helps I think and then bang I am down in the dumps again. Greif brain is real my dear. I so wish we were close because even as sad as I am, I can make you and myself laugh at the stupidest things and Sluggy doesn't even have to be with us. Let's see if she reads this... :) I think my brain is better but my heart isn't. Hate that we are going through this. But I do love having someone else with me as stupid and coarse as that sounds. Just wish it was someone I disliked.....
DeleteThere’s no playbook for grief, last i heard. You just have to do what you can, as we all will. Like you, i need to be busy. I do a pretty good pity party, if i do say so myself.
ReplyDeleteDebbie
We could party together.
DeleteDoes it give you any comfort to know that Joel was spared the pain of living without you? Kim, Sam, and Hilogene, your husbands are gone and that is a terrible unending grief, but they were spared that grief. They never had to live without you, and that, maybe, can bring a tiny little bit of relief. Or maybe I'm full of crap. I'm losing a relative, 48, with a 15 year old son. Cancer sucks.
ReplyDeleteKelsa is a real cutie. Grief takes as long as it takes. I hope you start to have many more better days.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
Thanks Jackie.
DeleteKelsa sure is a cutie pie Kim. You will have lots of days like yesterday - its just part of the grieving process. Try not to be so hard on yourself & just accept them when they come & give yourself lots of extra special care & time. You're doing okay Kim - its just day by day & sometimes its just hour by hour. xx
ReplyDeleteI know and I just want it to go away says 2 year old Kim.
DeleteKelsa is adorable.
ReplyDeleteGrace__It is something you need to give yourself. There is no time limit on grief.
Grace is such a beautiful name and concept, too bad I am not good at it...
DeleteI love that Kelsa rides with her bud along side her. She's too cute.
ReplyDeleteShe is so funny.
DeleteKelsa is adorable riding her dolly around with her.
ReplyDeleteEverywhere we go, dolly is getting a little bedraggled.
DeleteThat is an adorable picture of Kelsa and her passenger.
ReplyDeleteShe is so funny.
Deletemost berry bushes do not use cages but a trellis if it's a vine. A bush doesn't need anything , it can cause issues with growth if you use a cage.
ReplyDeleteOkay I was just trying to protect them from the deer
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