I am trying to get back to normal (what ever that was), but it is slow going. I am so behind on wedding dresses now as I lost two weeks and I have to really put my nose to the grind stone. Today I have a final fitting and another second fitting, plus a pile of hemming.
We spent the first few days after mom's death cleaning out her room and going through the personal things at my house. I wanted this done while all my sister's were here and also I just needed to have the bad memories erased. I was going to my daughter's for a few days before the funeral and I wanted to come home to an empty slate. Mom was quite the hoarder, or would have been if I had not kept it at bay as much as I could. My twin's husband came and helped my husband move mom's desk and curio cabinets back to Lil sis's basement. Grandchildren will be coming to collect belongings left to them or things they wanted. Of course my twin worked her butt off helping me and Lil sis did the very best she could. Lil sis took mom's death so hard. I really miss mom, but I am so happy she is on the other side with her loved ones. I know she is happy.
So not I have to let you know that the hospital contacted me and they have occupational therapists coming in that need places to rent for 3 months, I agreed to rent out mom's room and it has to be set up again. That is a work in progress. Then because my brain is in a 1/2 fog (let's call it grief brain) I did not realize that there were two different therapists texting me and I agreed to take two. So now I have to figure out where to put all the crap that is crammed into the upstairs bedroom drawers and closet and this house has very limited storage. Ugh! This dilemma does at least allow me to focus on something other than my feelings. Work is a great panacea for anguish.
Financially I am just in limbo and I will continue to limp along until I get my drive back. The wind has been knocked out of my sails a bit.
I have so much to do and here I am putzing around. Kick my butt would you, mom is no longer here to do it!
Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.
Kim
Any sign of the bonds? *crossing fingers it's yes.....*
ReplyDeleteNow get your butt in gear and your nose to the grindstone. ;-)
NO, and we went rough every book and nook, so I guess I will have to contact the government. Oh Joy!
DeleteOh my. I did not realize that your Mom passed. I am so sorry I missed those posts. God bless you all and my thoughts and prayers are with you all. Mom is healthy and happy now.
ReplyDeleteIt is a lot of work when our folks leave this world. So many things to do. Prayers for the new venture.
Breathe and take it all in baby steps. HUGS!
Thank you, it is hard but also the stress level is gone and that is nice. I miss her but know she is in a better place.
DeleteYou are doing the best you can!
ReplyDeleteReally Linda I am.
DeleteDid your brothers come to her funeral? Did they behave?
ReplyDeleteThose brothers. Will they have to adjust now to not receiving the monthly stipends from your mother? Take it one day at a time. After 3 years, I still miss my Mom. The hole is always there.
DeleteThe youngest brother did and he was fine. But no more child support payments and he spent everything he had coming early before her death, so..... The other brother is in jail so would not come as he was told he could attend in his orange jumpsuit in handcuffs with two deputies as he was a flight risk. He also spent his inheritance early not that there is that much left.
DeleteI've been thinming about you Kim. I'm glad you had support for that painfil task.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sam
DeleteA piece of advice that I heard on Dave Ramsey. You are grieving right now. Give yourself some grace right now. You know deep down what needs to be done, and you will get it down. It's okay to have a breakdown. It's gonna be okay. Praying for you my dear friend.
ReplyDeleteI am trying hard to maintain it is just that I can't get my brain to work.
DeleteYou will get through this. Give this to God!
DeleteGrief brain is absolutely the right description. Please be kind to yourself. It takes a long time to get used to the new normal.
ReplyDeleteThank you I am trying.
DeleteI does help to keep busy. Just be careful to not overdo:). Renting out 2 rooms for 3 months is a nice way to bring in some extra money once the commotion of setting the rooms up is over. I'm sure the women will be working so will not be underfoot all the time. Do you have to cook for them? I'm not sure how it works, as I've never rented out a room before.
ReplyDeleteNo they do there own cooking so I just have to rent. We had done this before we took in mom, it was just a fluke that this happened now.
DeleteStill praying for you. When my mother passed over 40 years ago, I came home from the hospital and started going through all her clothes and things, sorting and picking what would go to whom. I was the only person who could do it, and fortunately she had already given away most of her furniture and other things several months earlier, so it was a job that helped me get through the next few days. I had to go back home (I was in Texas, she was in California), and I allowed my uncle to do all the funeral planning, because I just didn't know what to do, and he was going to fight me no matter what I wanted, so I just concentrated on doing what I could. You will get through this, kiddo, cause I did. One little anecdote of the packing up her things. I was going through her jewelry, and I found a black velvet box with what looked like two large, heavy brass earrings in it. I thought they were nice, so I dropped them into my luggage and took them home. Several month later I thought they would look nice with an outfit I was going to wear, so I pulled the box out, again surprised at how heavy it was. When I picked up the 'earrings', I discovered that they were actually a set of Ben Wa balls! Turned out my mom was kinky! And no, I don't have them, they went into the trash. I hope you get a smile from my shock.
ReplyDeleteLOL to Evelyn... lol
DeleteYes but did she know how they were used? :)
DeleteTRUST me, mom knew her erotica! When I was in high school and PLAYGIRL came out, she made sure I got a subscription. I was the only teenaged girl in my school who had the Burt Reynold's nude centerfold hanging on my wall! She once told me I could read any adult literature I wanted, but I wasn't to put it into practice until I was over 18.
DeleteOne day at a time, one step at a time... you can do it.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I'm trying.
DeleteI am so sorry!!! breathe. Prayers for you!
ReplyDelete