I need to apologize for not tending to my blog friends and this blog, but I am just still struggling, not sure what it is, I keep calling it brain fog, I just don't know when it will fade. I am not crying or even really mourning, I am just not there, and everything is so easy to forget, the simplest things are just too hard to accomplish. I feel selfish and at odds, it hasn't been quite three weeks, will I ever get back to ...... to what? I ask myself.
On a more positive note your prayers and comments have meant so much and have really helped me so thank you, thank you. Is there anything I can do for any of you?
One thing I have been doing that has really helped my grief is to de clutter. I am just giving away and getting rid of things left and right. My girls all leave here with boxes of things. Our trash can is always full which is driving Hub's crazy. Today my goal is to clean out some china cupboards in the front room, the front closet and the paper products drawer in the kitchen. I am packing up the Christmas china for one of the girls. I will have empty cupboards, wow! Downsize, down size and pare down, it makes me feel better and blesses others.
We have two occupational therapists with us right now, I think this will work out fine, they are lovely young girls, and they love the puppy. Speaking of puppy he has been so much comfort to me and is doing a lot better on his potty training.
I have plenty to do in the shop so I will get in there and get busy. I have at least two wedding dresses that have to go out this week,possibly three should go out plus bridesmaid dresses along with other things for clients. So I have no excuse not to make money. Speaking of money, I am just shy of $100.00 to complete Hub's saving payoff that I owe or I should say we owe that account. Then I will concentrate on my $1000.00 emergency fund. That leaves two more debts, to work on besides the house and I will add one of those next month. There will be a small inheritance from mom and how to sort with that is in the fuzzy zone right now.
But as life goes on, I am ready to get back to
Monday's money saving madness: July 1st through the 8th
1. We are eating lettuce, green beans, cucumbers, onions, and squash from the garden
2. I have told myself I can by no groceries except milk and fruit until we have used up much of the freezer and food storage.
3. I found money on the street twice this past week, .35 .10 into the pig it went. I love finding money like that. It is silly I know but hey small joys.
4. We have so much food to eat from neighbors, I froze most of it so we have a lot to gum through.
5. Our bishop treated us to dinner after a funeral we went to on Saturday so we didn't pay for that meal out.
6. I touched up my roots with a kit I bought on sale for $3.49 saving a trip to the parlor
7. Lots of yard work keeps the exercise going, who needs to go to the gym?
8.returned things purchased that did not work for a refund rather than letting it go and losing the money. ( are you ever guilty of that?)
9.Reused lace from an old wedding dress to doll up a new one passed cost onto client, made a pretty penny.
10.Picked three bouquets of gorgeous flowers for my house, who needs to buy flowers?
11. Took in two boarders to help them and pay off the last two debts.
12. Received back an over payment for a medical bill. $80.00 Woo Hoo!
13. Saving money in all my normal ways, reusing containers, jars, wax wraps.
14. Received a really cute dress from daughter free
15. Eldest daughter replaced my very worn and scratched RAY BANS! Love that kid
So I am off to get some work done, and I expect the rest of you to do the same:)
Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.
Kim
After my mother died, I gave away things. Not one thing had anything to do with her or our relationship. I regretted that later, even to this day. I don't know what got into me.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand #8.
It is great to have food ready in the freezer.
Vacuum cleaner belts were purchased that did not fit. They were over 10.00 my sister did not return them but I did
DeleteIt is so nice to have neighbors who care enough to make sure you had food prepared when you needed it most. Now you have a lot of frozen quick meals, which is a double blessing.
ReplyDeleteI would not worry about when you get back to wherever. Your normal has changed and new normals take a bit of adapting.
Like you I am getting rid of stuff right and left. If it serves no use to me now, it surely won't as I get older.
I just want to get rid of clutter and start with less. Too much, too many memories.
DeleteEating from the garden, finding money, de-cluttering (yes even that),and using what you have is most definitely frugal.
ReplyDeleteYES, you will get back to normal - when it's time. Don't force it. You really don't understand what you are feeling, but girl you ARE mourning and you are depressed. You have the symptoms of both - you just don't realize it kiddo.
Keep busy, keep plugging away, and slowly you will be back!
HUGS
You are right, it is hard, I just need to get through it and I will. Thanks
DeleteDecluttering after a loved dies happens a lot--I think it's part of the grieving process. Like Cheryl Kimbly says, you will get back to normal at the right time. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and live your life each day. It's gonna hurt for a while, but it does lessen with time. We love you out here in blog land!
ReplyDeleteI was not decluttering; I was giving away the things I cherished the most.
DeleteI am sorry Linda, so far I have not done that just things that I don't need or want.
DeleteYou are doing amazing even getting half of what you are doing done with your brain still in the grieving mode!!! When your brain is ready, you will be back to "normal" - whatever that is for any of us!!!
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, how could you NOT give that little cutie some cheese, lolz???
He gets plenty of cheese believe me.
DeleteGo easy on yourself, Kim. Do what you feel like doing. Get your rest. Take care of YOU now that your mom is gone. YOU are important! YOU mean the world to so many (family/friends/blog buddies!). So please take care of yourself. I'm glad it's summer & you can get outside for sunshine & fresh air. Time for YOU to live your life after taking such good care of your mom! XO
ReplyDeleteThanks, I do feel a new set of lightness along with the grief and I think it is time to just let be. I am so grateful that I got to be with her and she passed at home. As bad as she was it was likely we would have had to face placing her somewhere, but God is good.
DeleteI think that your brain fog is part of YOUR grieving process. And it is okay. I agree with all the sentiments that you need to take a moment and breathe, and then go. Love you!
ReplyDeleteThank you Rhitter, hang in there yourself. The babies are safe and you stay strong.
DeleteI am hanging in there.
DeletePlanning the life style helps us to live happily:)
ReplyDeleteI plan God laughs, but I keep planning.
DeleteBless you dearie!
ReplyDelete