I know I have used this picture before, but it sums up my feelings today so well. I went to bed last night and cried and cried. Woke up at 5:30 about 3.5 hours later and cried. Went to Eye specialist. My eye is much better, but as it is a rare condition, I must continue on steroid eye drops twice a day for another month and then report back. My GP called and wants me on a statin for high cholesterol. It runs in my family. This means I have to take 10 different drugs a day. I can't remember them all or the times and it is just a huge pain in the butt, plus expensive. Gripe, complain, whine.
Now I get to go to my RA specialist on Monday and I wonder what joyful news he will have..... Really I am not even sick. I don't look sick, I may act a bit sick, but when will this crap give?
I had to go feed the neighbors, dogs,cats,pig, ducks, chickens and turtle this morning. Oh, I forgot the parrot who was angry they were gone and would not talk to me. But tomorrow he will. I have a ton of errands to run, and I have to make Auntie a birthday cake. We are taking her out to dinner.
Writing a response to my poor SAM about did me in. Just too close to home.
Love you guys, can't believe how you help me. Like having 25 mental health counselors at one time.
Trying to stay ahead of the damn grief but it keeps catching me. Dirty bugger that it is.
Kim
Not that it helps, but all that you are going through right now - is normal, as far as emotions. It has only been weeks - you need to give it time dear. It is nice that you are keeping busy - that helps a lot. Take care and know we all love you.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much CHeryl. It is just so hard.
DeleteI had someone describe this as, without warning, someone opens a window on a windy day, and it blows everything out of place. Wish I could help.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right. I think there is a storm outside, and I am trying to keep the windows closed.
DeleteI set alarms on my cell phone with the name of what med to take... I also do it for meals when alone or I don't eat.
ReplyDeleteGreat idea! I rarely have to take prescriptions, just the occasional antibiotic. I make a list of scheduled times. Check mark when taken on time (within 15 minutes); actual time taken if off schedule.
DeleteThe last time I had to take anything, I had an old skool phone with a very basic calendar. Shortly after the turn of the century.
The turn of the century. Does it seem weird that the phrase now applies to us?
...Taja 🏜️
I know it does apply. I have also used my phone as a reminder.
DeleteGrief is a sneaky devil, catching you when you least expect it. Think of you often. Suz in WA
ReplyDeleteThanks SO much Suz. THis is just so very hard.
DeleteOh if that picture is not me on a daily basis. like the suggestion of Chef Owings about alarms for the various meds! If our medicine of love is helping, I am all in on that one.
ReplyDeleteActually it does help.
DeleteHi Kim, by the way, many many people can’t take statins, it causes joint and muscle aches. They kept trying to get my husband on them, we tried four different kinds, and he was miserable….fyi, he eventually got on an injectible monoclonal antibody, called alirocumab, no side effects, easy shot every two weeks, but you need insurance to pay for it…and they first require you try out all the different statins. Anyway, in case you get joint and muscle pain, heads up. Hilogene in Az.
ReplyDeleteI tried statins but I hurt too much to continue! No one gave me the med you talk about! Thanks Hilogene.
DeleteWell I talked to my specialist today and as RA has a high factor of heart problems I will try them.
DeleteI remember after I lost my husband, I had a mental picture of me swimming out in the ocean trying to slowly make my way back to shore. A large wave would come up behind me, out of nowhere, and pull me under. I would cry and cry and cry and just be overcome by the grief. I would finally gain my composure and start swimming toward shore again but it would eventually happen again. Then, over time, it didn't happen as frequently and then it stopped all together. It has been four years now and I miss him everyday but over time, things have gotten better and they will for you too.
ReplyDeleteI love this analogy, That is exactly how I feel.
DeleteKim,
ReplyDeleteLook into those med dispensers/keepers, the plastic boxes with partitions for meds by morning, noon, and night. You might even have one around the house. I gave them up because they are too hard for me to open. Plus, I hated loading them.
At first. I put all my meds on a certain shelf in the kitchen. Then, I moved them to the top of the microwave. When I kept knocking the bottle off, I took them and put them in a train case type makeup thing. I love that. I put a tiny med
condiment cup in there, put pills I take in the cup and dump them down my throat. I have that many meds, but about half are for allergies. I also keep otc pills and a tube of Neosporin in there, too. Maybe you will work something out.
I have one and I hate loading it also. Then I flip it accidentally and all the pills go flying.
DeleteThe dresser scarf of drawn thread work on your dressing table is lovely. Is that a family heirloom piece?
ReplyDeleteI think I got it at goodwill.
DeleteGrief is a marathon not a sprint.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
It is going to be such a long marathon.
DeleteI'm keeping you, and Sam, in my thoughts. It's been over a year since sister died, and it still shatters me at times. I think you just keep going forward through the grief. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteOh, Celie I am so sorry, but thank you for your caring.
DeleteYou and Sam are in my thoughts and prayers every day. I can't imagine the pain and loss you are both dealing with. I wish I could hug you both.
ReplyDeleteIt is very hard, but I know your prayers and the prayers of others sustain me.
Delete