The plug trays I ordered came in and I am excited to start my geraniums from seed. I love geraniums, they are my favorite planter flower. But last year I was so disgusted by the flowers that were for sale. You could not get a pony pack of anything. Everything was in deep 4 inch pots and spindly little plants, with enough dirt for 8 plants. You essentially were paying for dirt and the prices were atrocious. So I had decided last year I was going to try and start many of my flowerpot plants this year.
I have had great success with my vegetables and herbs, so now let's try flowers. This will save me several hundred dollars a year. I also have decided not to grow a really huge garden. I can't eat all of it and it is so much work. Much of that work was done by Joel. I will be putting the larger part of the garden to flowers. So one of my goals for the day is to get a small table out of storage and put it in front of the window and start these plants.
I switched out the Valetine for the St. Patty's Day. Anything to try and feel normal. Auntie was amused by this. But it makes the grandkids happy.
I am really tired and sleepy. I know part of it is that I stay up late but I cannot sleep in like I used to. I wake up early and my first thought goes to Joel and then I cannot go back to sleep. Also, depression makes me tired. Trying so hard to skip over this phase.
I just force myself to move forward. Just get something done, anything no matter how small or trivial.
The longer it is the more I miss him. I don't like this.
But I am going to get something done.
Trying to stay afloat in more ways than one.
Kim
Hello dear Kim. I have been away to my Mums for a long time & I am only just catching up on your posts - I have very patchy internet down there, mostly non-existent. . It hurts my heart to feel your pain through your posts Kim but I think you must remind yourself that it is still such early days & not expect too much of yourself.
ReplyDeleteI think you are doing incredibly well considering what you have been through & you need to give yourself some credit for the huge life change you are trying to adjust to.
I love your new chairs - they look wonderful. That little grandaughter in your last post just melts my heart - she is a treat. Take care of yourself Kim - sending love across the oceans & the miles to you x0x0x0x0 💗💗
(((((((HUGS)))))) Kim. Grief comes in waves and its timeline (if there even is one) meanders and is different for everyone. I do understand wanting to feel "normal" though. Sometimes it is the "normal" things that keep us going and sane. I hope your flower starts do well. Geraniums are some of my favorites as well and I try to go with a different color theme each year, mixing at least two different colors within the same color family to just enhance my front porch. I'm looking forward to seeing how well yours grow. If they do well, I may just try to grow some from seeds myself. Much love to you my friend!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the flowers. I do great with starting veggies but some flowers are tough for me. Begonias, geraniums and inpatients are ones I never had luck with.
ReplyDeleteThe decorations are real cute.
One step at a time kiddo!
You miss Joel so much because you loved him so much. The fact that you're getting up and dressed every day is a good thing. Have you ever played a noise machine at night? Or if you can't sleep in, maybe try going to bed a little earlier every night. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteHi, love the early St Patricks day stuff. You are certainly ahead of my plans ;). I had a banner day here, three of Stu’s four motorcycles went to new homes. Woohoo! Such an incredible relief to have all this bikes accounted for. The fourth bike has been given to a friend of his, and will go away in about a month. Funny I didn’t realize what a weight it was to worry about how to sell them etc etc, And it all worked out. I continue to feel that everything of his that I sell or donate erases a little of him from my life, and I really don’t like that feeling. But then I realize that he was a spirit not a pile of motorcycle parts, so I get over myself ;). Thank you for continuing to blog, hope it helps you a little, it helps me to read how you are doing and adapting. Hilogene in Az
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the flowers. I can't seem to grow anything. Maybe this year I will try. I love your St. Patrick's Day decorations. I am hoping to find time this weekend to put mine out. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteYour deep love for him is eternal as is his deep love for you. Forever. Hugs. Cindy in the South
ReplyDeleteThinking of you as you move forward. Please take the pace that is right for you...hugs.
ReplyDeleteAs you move through the stages of grief, remember there is no set way to navigate it. It is perfectly fine (and normal) for you to be depressed, sad, angry, whatever emotion finds you on any given day. Just know we are thinking of you all the time.
ReplyDeleteI've never been able to get flowers to start for me. I know the Amish greenhouse is starting their flower seeds. They say it takes 6 months to start recovering from losing a love one.
ReplyDeleteOne day at a time as the old saying goes. The flowers will be lovely I’m sure. Please keep us updated on their progress when you can.
ReplyDeleteI start a few of my flowers in the late winter (probably around March) and we get our youngest son to start some of our veggies for us. This year he is thinking of starting some of his own flowers as well.
ReplyDeleteYou need to move through each phase of grief, don't force yourself to try and get through any of them faster than it takes. ((Hugs)).
God bless.
I love geraniums too! Doing little things even when it seems impossible is progress.
ReplyDelete