Well I am home again, and I feel like a rung out dish rag. It was a long few days with lots of work and plenty of family.
We were able to have a wonderful memorial service for the babies and many blessings came our families way throughout the days we set up for the service.
Missoula bent over backwards to support Travis and the children. Almost all business refused to take money for services or greatly reduced their fees, we were amazed at the generosity of people. There is so much good in the world.
The children's favorite color was purple, and this was the back drop of the church. I was so touched. Those two hanging's on either side were hand done by parishioners and then given to the family after the service. It was just amazing.
As you left the church they had these boy and girl angel hangings which were so perfect for our babies. It was just so wonderful all the amazing things that were just in place for our family.
Lil sis, Sissie and I worked hard and ran around for three days gathering things and meeting with the pastor, constant phone calls and txts, to people involved. It was a lot of work, but I am so happy we did this. There is no way Travis could have pulled it off without help.This brought us together as a family and I know my mother would have been pleased by our efforts.
I was so proud of Travis and the older daughter's at the funeral. They spoke and they did such a good job. The older girls, talked about how strong these children were and their devotion to one another. They were so young yet looked out for one another with adult actions.
Travis spoke last and I will try and write what he said.
He had been crying for over 30 hours and his family decided they would walk the few blocks to the house where the children had passed and set up a memorial. As he got to the house, he was so overcome by grief when he approached the porch he fell on his knees sobbing. He said, he felt little arms wrap around his neck from either side. He felt the embrace of his children. They spoke to his soul and said they were all right, they loved him, they knew he loved them. They also told him there was nothing he could have done to save them. He felt his anger and grief lift and he felt the strength of those two children's souls flow into him. He said he would be forever changed, but for the better, as he would use this strength to try and change the system that failed these two babies. It was a very emotional testimony. He was so strong. We were all so proud of him.
I have only cried three times this morning so I am getting better:)
I am facing Christmas hell here, with boxes all over the front room and I am making myself decorate. I forgot to take my meds yesterday as we drove home and I have a really bad headache today and much nausea, but I am trying to work through it. We had Oliver for a little while this morning as his parents had dental appointments, and he was a joy. Hub's is going to get Schmills and Kelsa this afternoon.
I am trying to get the all the towels and linens washed so I can begin with the bathrooms. Schmills loves to decorate,this so it will be fun for him to help grandma. Just moving slowly, one room at a time, or maybe all rooms at a time.
Hub's mom is going to be with us for Christmas and a few or maybe many weeks after, we do not know. But hubs will go get her and bring her up.
Sissie, Lil sis, Lil sis's oldest daughter and I all shared a donated hotel room and we had lots of laughs and many tears,but you remember the laughter. Our family are all very funny. We are born comedians, I think it is the Jewish heritage. We can take the most awful circumstance and twist it to humor. Even Travis and his older girls have that wicked sense of humor. It sustains us, sick as that sounds.
Now I just want to get back to my life. But I am having a hard time. I know I will adjust. I just have to keep busy.
Thank you all again for all your love and support, it has meant the world to me.
Kim
