Thursday, March 30, 2023

Thursday , What matters?

 My plants are getting bigger.  Too bad the weather is cold and crappy.  Not spring at all.  Maybe a blessing as I would want to be outside. 

Greif bleeds one day into the next, as I survive.  I really don't like existing this way, but I have no choice.

I was proud of what I got done yesterday and I am determined to finish a bit of sewing and then get to a huge pile of alterations.

I am struggling with the blog, as I feel like I have no financial goals to speak of.  I don't need to be chasing cheap grocery prices as I am not eating enough to warrant that.  Plus, I already have so much food I am not cooking. 

I really enjoyed blogging about debt payoff.  Not that I want more debt.  But I want goals.

I do have $515.00 in my $5 bill savings for Hawaii.  That should be plenty for food and fun.

I am saving a penny a day in my can. It has 42.78 in it and I will put in money soon for April. But other than that, it is just the house and once this money situation with the state is resolved, I will attack that with a vengeance.

I am looking forward to something I can attack. I think I will feel less fractured if I have a big goal. At least that is what I am hoping.

It sounds to me like blog land is all suffering from this chest cold crud.  How can we live so far apart and then all get the same things.

I have to find out what matters to me for the future and I am so at a loss right now. 

Well here we go for today.  At least for today I have a plan and maybe that is all I need.

1. finish up hand work on suit and call

2. finish up prom dress and call

3. start little person pile as follows.... alter coat sleeves

4. alter snow pants

5. mend 6 pairs of suit pants

6. alter coat sleeves

7. alter pants

8.alter three shirts

9. alter two pairs of long johns

10. alter 5 more pairs of pants

11. alter a coat

12. alter outdoor hunting coat

13. alter outdoor hunting bibs

I am sure there is more.  These are really hard as a little person has a regular body but extremely short limbs.  You can't just shorten a pair of pants they have to be tapered and tailored to look normal.  So hard.  But it must be done.  So I do.  There is no way I can get all this done today but I will get a start.

Here goes.  Wish me luck.


Wednesday, March 29, 2023

Wednesday, Maybe better?

 I am trying so hard to run away from depression and I am not sure if this cold is why I want to be back in bed or I am just depressed. But today I do feel a little better.

Went out to dinner with a friend, tried hard to eat I should have been hungry. Brought most of my food home.

Ran more paperwork to my specialist and took death certificate down to one of the banks.  Paid a few bills and now I need to really concentrate on the shop.

I have several wedding dresses almost done .  As in I just need to do a few more things before I can call and get them out of here.

Then the piles before they grow too high. 

So the list starts with:

1. call bride for fitting( Monday at 10)

2. put bustling hooks on dress and call

3. finish bustle, back, and underskirts on wedding dress and call.

4. alter three blouses

5. alter sport coat

6. alter mans suit

7. alter hem shorts

8. hem jeans

9. fix prom dress

10. start on pile of alterations for little man ( I have put this off because it is so hard)

Okay now that I see list I may just go back to bed.  Can I weather through?  I think I can.  I will do the best I can.


Tuesday, March 28, 2023

Tuesday, I just don't feel very good.

 Kelsa is fine, but this is what I want to be doing. I want to curl up on a sofa or bed and just sleep and sleep.  This cold lingers, with a steady cough and sinus drainage. It is just really wiping me out.  Not very happy about it.  Taking over the counter meds as directed, and I really don't know if they are helping as much as I would like. But if I don't feel better by Friday I will go into doctor.

Just this overall feeling of exhaustion and malaise.  My biggest fear is that I will sink into depression, and I want to make sure it is just the cold and not my mind.  I don't want to go there.  I am fighting it off on all fronts.  I do not like to be brought down by anything. 

I downloaded a form from my email for possible help with my most expensive med. I will run that in today as soon as Nate picks up Kelsa.

I spent all day yesterday working on handwork on wedding dresses and I will finish another today.

Many small projects in piles for me to tackle. Just hems and things. Need to pull another couple of wedding dresses to finish up before the week is out.

The wheezing in my breathing is better so I will take that as a good sign. I have only had one really bad coughing jag. 

My problem is impatience. Everyone who has gotten this crud said it was a bad one and I was so sure I would skate through.  Kim and her ability to deny reality but then she can also lose a month.

I just need to feel better.  Anyone have any Fairy dust?  Willing to try anything.


Monday, March 27, 2023

Monday, I found May!

 Okay two of my favorite people with a MCWeevil. I am still coughing and wetting my pants, but no aches or pains.  Spent the weekend mostly down, taking naps and just doing nothing.

The kids took me out for a lovely dinner on Friday, my fever had broken Thursday night.  Then we went to Lil sis's for cake and ice cream.  I was wiped out after and went home to bed.  Signe' came with me and of course my sidekick Kelsa.  Who by the way does kick your side when she sleeps with you.

Slugs called me yesterday and I made a discovery!  What you ask?  I found my May!  Yes, in Kim's bleak grieving brain May had disappeared. Like Joel had taken it to heaven.  It was gone. 

I am frantically trying to get all the wedding dresses for June out because I will be gone two weeks in April, and I don't want to get home with only a few days of June to get dresses out. As in April, June, July. Now we all know my brain is anything but linear but to lose an entire month.  I have a gift.  I mean this has haunted me for several weeks.  Like in my mind May completely disappeared.

Now I have a whole 31 more days to get this work out and I feel so much better.  What is wrong with me?  Don't answer that.

Thanks for all the well wishes for my birthday.  65 who would have thought?

I did get the taxes ready to go to the accountant. So that is one large bother out of the way.  Now I just have to make phone calls for fittings and pickups. 

My main problem is I don't want to do anything, and I have to. 

I am trying all sorts of ways to motivate myself, but they are not working.

Any ideas? I am plum out of ideas for motivation.


Friday, March 24, 2023

Friday, Kim has a fever.

 Kim has a fever she is down. It is also Kim's 65th birthday.  I am down. 

Love Kim

Wednesday, March 22, 2023

Wednesday, What happened to yesterday?

My pussy willow tree!

 I don't remember much about yesterday and I thought I had blogged.  But it was a hectic morning and frustrating day.  I was up earlier than usual which made me happy, and I started running errands. I wanted to get the car in to see when an oil change was needed also tires checked.  Joel always did that.  Set and appointment for Friday.  Tire rotation, brake check and oil change. Then I filled out paperwork for a reduction in the cost of my most expensive med and took it to the doctor's office to see if I qualify for help.  Took new drug info down to pharmacy and picked up prescriptions.  My new drug card worked although meds I paid nothing for are now a 10.00 co pay.  I love how when you retire things get more expensive while you are living on a reduced income.  It makes so much sense, right?  Ran up to phone company and got a new phone, which I was in need of, actually paid for it outright and lowered my bill for the next 2 years.  Then home to fight the last account of Joel's.  Spent 3 hours off and on, on hold and found out they had not sent all the paperwork needed so am now waiting for that.

I did get a couple of dresses started and now have to finish today.  It was a frustrating day.  So much time wasted on dumb ass paperwork. 

I just want to sew and be left alone.  Today is take the neighbor to the food pantry day, so that will take time.  But I am determined to get 4 dresses ready for fittings today so I can concentrate on this pile of alterations I have sitting here.

Signe' stayed with me last night no Kelsa. She had an early surgery. I woke late today as I had bad dreams about owning a sewing shop in a mini mall and getting so behind.  Clients kept coming and constant interruptions.  I could get nothing done, but I still kept getting work in and I took it.  It was just such a real nightmare.  Where in truth I sent a woman away yesterday as the dress was too hard and I did not want to do it.  Then I had the University call with a 20-uniform contract for the ROTC.  It would have been over a $1000 worth of work but had to be completed before I leave for Jethelyn's.  I also turned them away.  Any new brides for June have to wait until I get back to have dresses done.  So, I am trying to keep work at bay and be sensible. Just have dreams that I am not. Felt like I had not slept all night.

But I feel like I did get some important things done for me. I set my timer this morning three times for 15 minutes and got the house really straightened up.  So, I have no excuse not to sew.

On you mark get set go!

I am so sad most of the time, I just have to keep going.

By the way Slug if you go before Dan (God forbid) remember I get him not Kay, as she already has a Dan and I saw him first.  If Dan goes before you, we will just live together and spend most of our time on cruise ships eating carrot cake.

See how I just solved that problem?


Monday, March 20, 2023

Monday, Busy weekend!

 St. Patrick's Day at the Mexican restaurant. My friend and I have spent the last 4 St. Patrick's Day together, but the first three we shared with husbands.  Now we are widows, so let's carry on the tradition with our funny hats.  

My girls are so afraid to let me be alone.  Last Wednesday Signe' spent the night along with Kelsa, who was also not feeling her best. Then Thursday Signe' asked me to come up to her place and spend the night and help her switch out decor in her two bathrooms. She had pink towels in the master bath and Nate did not want pink in his bathroom.  Men!

I also agreed to teach an Irish set dance at Williams school.  That was fun and hysterical.  Kids ranging from first grade up to 5 th grade.  So cute, and fun.  They loved it and I think they did really well.  Then Sig and I did a few errands and completed her projects, and I flew down the hill to join my buddy for dinner.

Signe' came down with the kids that night so she could help me the next day with my plant transfers.  But Will woke with and earache and Kelsa was still punk. I wanted her to take the kids in as 4 days with a fever just did not seem like a cold to me.  Sure, enough Will had an ear infection and Kelsa had a double draining ear infection. Kids went home with antibiotics, and I actually stayed alone on Sunday night!!!!!!

Can you believe it? My first night alone since Joel's passing. It was actually okay.  Probably because I was exhausted taking care of sick kids and the very tired mommy of sick kids. Do any of you remember those nights up with sick babies, and no sleep and then having to carry on like you got a good night's sleep? SO happy I am over those days.  Well not really as I had Kelsa here last night, at least she did not throw up in my bed.

On Saturday, I transplanted all my geraniums and Merigolds.  I will be able to put these out in my small green house in a month. Also started a new tray of other bedding plants and veggies.  The only I thing I have not started are my Herbs. I will buy tomato plants.


Braunwyn was due down here with Oliver this afternoon to spend a couple of days, but I am working on a cold (I wonder why?) and I called and told her not to come.  She does not need this and neither does Oliver.

I have lots to do today.  Want to knock out a couple of wedding dresses and finish a holy communion dress. Just lots of white around here plus I have a huge pile of alterations for a little person due out this week and I have to get my taxes in this week.  Kill me now. My desk is piled with paperwork that needs to be done and I can hardly face paying bills.  One day at a time Kim you can do this.

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.


Thursday, March 16, 2023

Thursday, No regrets!

 She is down.  Fever this morning of 103.4 which is high for an adult, but pretty average for a baby.  Came right down to normal with Tylenol.  You or I would have been comatose with a fever that high.  But she is sleeping a lot.

I was able to get all the quilting things put away and the house cleaned up.  I miss my Aunt. She was a quiet but busy presence. 

Not feeling super good today.  My stomach is bothering me on all levels, and I have a bad headache.  I would like to take some aspirin but afraid it will upset my stomach further.

The kids are sick with a cold, so not the same thing.

Once all the money crap is settled and I am down to just my house once again, I want to really concentrate on paying it down.

I ask myself why I did not make much progress since we bought the place and I know the answer.  We were having too much fun! I used shop monies usually reserved for debt payments, for vacations, and toys, and travel.  Money I could have been paying down the house loan I used to just have fun.  The house will be paid for eventually, but I will never get back those wonderful moments we experienced traveling.  The hours we spent camping, and Joel off with the grandsons on his 4-wheeler.  

I don't regret the truck payment, or paying cash for the kayaks, and the trailer to haul them.  I don't regret the cruises and the trips to and fro.  They are all great memories, and they are what I am left with.  We had a wonderful cruise at Christmas, and we were with wonderful friends.  Now I could have paid down the house loan by about 12 thousand dollars, but I didn't, and I don't regret it one bit.

Even though this is a Fianacial blog in some ways, and my goal is always to be debt free, my goal was also to live life.  Life is short. People pass and you can be sitting debt free with no memories. I have so many great memories and the laughter, I will never forget the laughter.  Those memories are priceless, and the house debt will get paid just not today.

Today is for great memories.


Wednesday, March 15, 2023

Wednesday, I am a mess

 Trying to get a decent picture of Kelsa and Aunty before she left. Kelsa has a low-grade fever and was not having it.  She was not having her hair combed, she was not taking out her bink, she was not going to look up and smile.  But look at that cute belly button.  Slugs she has on donut pants.

I already had a meltdown.  Trying to hold it together. Can you believe I am this vulnerable? 

We went out to a new Japanese restaurant last night and I loved it. Aunty not so much!   Then we went and bought 2 pies, because it was Pie Day.   I still have over 1/2 coconut cream in the fridge and left the choco cream at Lil sis's even thought she said not to.

So I had pie for breakfast and now I am a little sick, from too much sweet on an empty stomach.

I had so many plans for the new year.  Savings plans, strategy's and I have nothing.  Well, I have a few things, but nothing like I had planned. Here it is 1/2 way through March, and I am still not on even keel. Much of it not my fault as monies have not gone where they are supposed to. I did finally today get Joel's SSI allotment, so it looks like that will be a regular thing. Now if the state just back pays the money for Jan., Feb., and March along with April's allotment I might be able to make some plans. What this has shown me though is just how little I can get by on.  Which is always a good lesson, if not a fun one.

Kelsa just brought me the thermometer and laid her head on my leg.  She has a fever of 100.  Poor little snipe.  Just made her a bottle of juice with Tylenol in it, wrapped her in a fuzzy blanket and put her in front of her favorite cartoon. It is so cute that she knows something is wrong.

I did get three dresses either done or ready for final fittings yesterday, but 4 more came in so no progress. Today I plan on finishing 2 or three and then calling for final fittings.  I want all the June dresses out before I leave for Hawaii.  SO lots to do.

Signe' is spending the night with me and tomorrow I am going up to her place to spend the night.  I am teaching an Irish set dance to William's school on St Patricks's day.

Pray for me for the next few days, I need help!


Tuesday, March 14, 2023

Tuesday, Aunties last day!

 Here she is trying frantically to finish a bright colored quilt!  At 88 years of age this woman is a slave driver.  She just goes and goes.  She is amazing!  I am going to miss her so much.  Look at her down on her knees on that hard floor.!

Lil sis is taking us out to dinner tonight, so I am excited about that. I am worried about not having anyone here as I have not been alone since Joel's death.  Just typing Joel's death about kills me. But look I must be getting better as I typed it twice. It has been almost 3 months, so I do believe it is time to rip off the bandage.

Nathan is driving Aunty up to Spokane tomorrow, as the kids do not want me driving 2 hours home alone.  They are afraid I will be too emotional.  They are probably right. 

I just found out an old grade school friend lost his wife to a major heart attack.  They had been married 46 years and were high school sweethearts. What is scary is we always thought this was happening to the older generation and it is happening to us.  We are the older generation. Unexpected things can happen so fast. Hold on and love hard is all I can say.

I sewed hard all day into the evening yesterday but was not able to get to a wedding dress or my plants. Hopefully today I can knock out a couple of dresses. I still have one pair of jeans I need to replace a zipper on before I start on a wedding dress. 

I already had an appointment this morning and the dress is a nightmare, but I do love a challenge.  I also have two more coming in today. Just sew busy.  Pardon the pun. 

I keep wondering if I will do better at getting the sewing done with Aunty not here, but I don't know? She certainly is not bothersome or in my way.  I just think that maybe I will concentrate more when I am alone because I will need to in order to fight the loneliness. Realize I will still have Kelsa a couple of days a week if not more and the kids stop in constantly.  Thank goodness for my kids. I am so blessed. Also, Lil sis is just 5 minutes away and often stops by for lunch.  She says I am the cheapest restaurant in town and the service is great! 

Sew much to do, sew much to do.  Sew I am off to do it!

You guys got any wild plans for today?  Do tell.

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.



Monday, March 13, 2023

Monday, A nice surprise

Got home from Twin Falls yesterday and it was a long drive.  It takes at least 8 hours with stops.  Aunty went right to bed when we got home. Just sitting in a car is exhausting, but she was so happy to see Jess and the boys.  It was nice to see Joel's mom also. 

I arrived home and picked up the mail and received a card form Anne in the Kitchen.  She also saves all her $5 bills and then uses them for charity. I was her charity of choice this last month.  She sent me 6 five-dollar bills for my trip with my daughter to Hawaii.  Wasn't that wonderful.  I had come home from Twin Falls and added my 5's to the pot and now had $395.00 saved and with Anne's card I am up to $425.00.  So nice to be loved and thought of. Thank you, Anne!

Home to a pile of work that I am trying to avoid.  Also, my little seedlings need to be transplanted badly.  I am really excited about doing this and I am using this as a tool to force myself to get work done in the shop. I will use almost anything to get my butt moving.

It was C.S. Lewis who said, "I didn't know grief was so much like fear."  I can really relate to that. Fear of the unknown, fear of the mind, fear of the tears, fear of offending others, fear of being a burden, fear of inactivity, fear of being misunderstood, fear of losing one's temper, fear of loneliness, fear of financial upheaval, fear of not being able to do something that needs done.  Just so many fears that you have to navigate through.  I do not like being fearful.  I try to have faith, but sometimes it just isn't there.

This blog helps me so much to get my feelings out, so I am not wallowing.  Oh, who am I kidding I do wallow sometimes.

So rather than wallow, I am going to make a list of things to get done today.

1. put on some makeup

2. make my bed

3. finish the laundry

4. replace two zippers

5. go to Joanns for a zipper.

6. Get a large pile of mending done.

7. alter at least one wedding dress.

8. transplant seedlings, but only after I have completed list!

9. replace a zipper

10. get a pile done

Don't I have an exciting life??

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.


Wednesday, March 8, 2023

Wednesday, Humor, and the Morbid

If you do not have a sick and twisted humor like me, you might skip this post. 

This morning I went yet again to the eye surgeon, and I have 20/20 vision.  Still have to go back in 6 months.  The fact that I have had 4 operations on my right eye and then this rare condition that has healed up nicely, is giving my doctor all sorts of caution.  He said it is a miracle I see as well as I do.  Somehow my eye decided to grow blood vessels that then fed cholesterol deposits under the cornea.  Why? No one knows....

Anyway, on the way home I dropped off my poop box, or more nicely said my Cologuard box.  It has been sitting in my bathroom for a couple of weeks, because well yuck! Finally, Signe' chastised me, as in "Mom really how long are you going to let that gross test sit there before you do it?"

SO, let's talk about square boxes.  I know, I know such a strange request.  But I have observed that gross things come in square boxes.

When Joel passed, it was Christmas morning..  Not the day the local coronor just jumps out of bed and starts visitng hospital morgues. I was told it would be up to three days before Joel was picked up.

segue: We had discussed death.  Joel wanted to be cremated and his ashes put in Franka's (our daughters) grave.  We plan on taking his ashes to Missoula this summer and putting them in her grave.

Then we were told he would be in a que of up to 7 days before he was cremated.  There was no possible way for us to get his ashes shipped in time for his funeral on January 5th.

Now Lil sis was in charge of the funeral, as I was on another planet and could only answer, "I don't know." to any question asked.  She was upset about not having at least an urn by his picture at the service.  I did not care.  But whatever....  Have an empty urn if it makes you feel better.  Or better yet since many members of the family smoke, just take that urn and put your cigarette ashes in it, maybe a few small chicken bones, maybe Signe' could bring a few teeth home from the office.  I mean really no one would know the difference.  Of course, this was my idea because my mind is sick and twisted.

Alas the urn remained empty at the funeral because no one thought my suggestion was valid although Joel would have loved it.

The morning of the funeral of course was chaos, everyone trying to get ready, and all the flowers and things had to get to the church.  I was one of the last out the door, and my two youngest were in the master bathroom primping.  I hollered at them, "Don't you two be late for your dad's funeral."  They responded with snorts.  Yeah, you have to know these two.

So Braunwyn goes out the garage door and Signe' exits the front door.  There is a perfectly square box on the porch in Signe's way and she kicks it to the side and wonders why it is so heavy for such a small box and continues to the church.

The urn at the church was empty and the service was beautiful no one was the wiser.

All the family gathered at the house after the luncheon and Sarah my niece was the first to arrive.  Of course, people go through both doors and Sarah picks up the box on the porch and starts screaming, "Mom, Mom it's Uncle Joel!"  Yes, Joel had made it in time for the funeral, but Signe' had kicked him to the side thinking the box ready Holy Family Christmas and not Holy family crematorium. Now in her defense, there were still many Christmas packages piled in the front room that were Joel's that no one touched.  And she was moving fast, and the Crematorium part was only partially on the top of the box.

Sarah puts the box on the table in the front room and Braunwyn comes in and sees the box, and starts hollering, "Signe', Signe', it's Dad!"  Signe' then realizes she kicked her dad and stepped over him.  Who does that? Now the whole family is gathered around and all we can do is laugh.  Joel would have loved this.

 So, Signe' and I have decided that gross and morbid things come in this certain size of square box. After we had this discussion, I have decided to wrap all my Christmas presents to the kids in this size box.  If I could only get some of the tape that says human cremains. (You may stop reading me now and unsubscribe) 

I got things done yesterday; I am very proud to me.  It was slow going and I felt like I was pulling a train up a mountain, but I persevered.

Aunty and I are leaving tomorrow morning for Twin Falls. We will come home on Sunday.  Aunty wants to see Jess and her boys.  We will pick up Joel's mom on the way and take her with us.  I am looking forward to seeing my eldest daughter.

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.


Tuesday, March 7, 2023

Tuesday, Quilt done, but nothing else!

 We finished another quilt. Isn't this one lovely? The one problem I see with quilting, okay several problems.  It is expensive.  Once you finish, what do you do with it?  You can only have so many blankets. Now Aunty sells her quilts. I will not be selling quilts. But it is a lot of fun and you feel very accomplished when you are done. Now what do I do with this?

I did nothing I needed to do yesterday.  I did finish this quilt, but it was not what I needed to do.  I am in a funk.  Yet I am not really sad.  Just surviving.

I hope I can convince myself to get something done today.  Maybe if I make a list.  Remember my lists?  Way too long to be humanly possible.  But that was back in the day when I thought myself invincible.  I have learned different.

Okay I will try:

1. take shoulders up in a jumpsuit.

2. hem a pair of pants

3. hem a pair of jeans

4. hem a pair of jeans

5. hem a pair of suit pants

6. remove cuffs from a coat

7. hem a dress and make three bridal garters

Okay that is enough, I think. 10 wedding dresses in shop and I cannot even look at them.  Yikes.

Say a prayer for me, I need one.

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.


Monday, March 6, 2023

Monday, Fun few days


Everyone wants to see Nate's backside, right?  Or how about the cutest little helper. When the kids moved the fridge back the linoleum got a small boo boo.  Nate put a patch in, as it bothered him much more than me.  You cannot see it.  The fridge covers it. My dad always said when you get something new you need to take a small hammer and give it a whack, so you quit worrying about it being new.

Friday, Aunty, my friend and I all drove to Kooskia (75 miles) to visit a quilting barn.  It had more fabric than I have ever seen before.  It was a fun day.  We stopped for lunch at a little bakery and the food was great! Signe' had given Aunty and I some quilt money and of course we spent it.

Now I wonder who loves purple and lime green?  Hmmm.... I see a new quilt in the making.

Saturday, Aunty and I quilted, and I finished pinning the blanket binding on a quilt.  We putzed around all day, got a few groceries and then went to Lil sis's for dinner and plated Farkle.  It was so fun.  Then home to bed.  Both of us were tired!

I accidently slept in On Sunday, so I was late for church.  Church is so hard for me as people always come and ask how you are and after the third one, I am having a hard time controlling my emotions.  I have to hightail it out of there. When will that go away?

Sunday, we had the sister missionaries over and also my friend that went to get fabric with us here for dinner.  It was delicious. Lots of leftovers.  Kids came in after we had eaten and helped to eat up what they could.  Nathan dropped off Kelsa as he has to leave late this afternoon for a weeklong training, and he needed a day to rest and get packed. So, she is with me today. Such a funny little bug.

We are headed to Twin Falls at the end of the week, so Aunty can see Jethelyn and the kids.  That means I have to get my act together and get things done.  My act is not very easy right now.

But today, I have a few pants to hem, and a few piles, and then some zippers.  I really must do something.

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.


Thursday, March 2, 2023

Thursday, New floor!

 The new kitchen floor!!!!! Remember the whole house was done in a dark grey Pergo type, flooring.  I mean the whole dang house. It was lifting and you could not keep it clean.  It streaked and marked.  You had to hand dry it with a towel to get it to look nice.  1800 square feet of that crap and I was about nuts. (Okay Slug and Anne I can hear you.)

Putting in the light oak hardwood and then this high-grade hospital linoleum has so brightened up the place. I walk in the kitchen, and I can't believe how light it is, plus it is waterproof.  I don't have to panic if the ice maker spits out an ice cube.

I am loving It! I feel like I live in a different house!

Now the kitchen sink is a fiasco.  I am still working on that.  But it is a story for another day. Plus, I would like to get a little more money put aside, and I can live with it.

Aunty and I have been invited out to lunch with a friend today, I have already had a wedding dress picked up, and I have several more fittings this afternoon.  Plus, I have two large piles of alterations I want to get through and a bodice to put together.

Aunty and I went out last night and I had her feet done.  She is diabetic and in bad need of a pedicure.  I also had my nails done.  We both felt great after we left. She loves her shocking pink toenails!  Pink is her favorite color.

Nathan is coming to move the fridge back later today, so I don't have to pay movers again. Then I can really get things put back together.

Good days and bad days.  I was able to get to sleep last night alone in my big bed, and then I only woke once and was able to get back to sleep, and then slept until 8:14.  So I was thrilled.  I think things go better for me when I get enough sleep and that is only the second night since Joel passed that I felt was a good night's rest.

Who knew this was going to be so hard? Certainly not I. But alas here I am, or I should say here we are in the saga of Kim losing her spouse.

Oh, by the way I have $300.00 saved in my $5 dollar bill savings.

Thanks for tuning in, will it be tears or cheers?  Tomorrow will tell....

Have a great and productive day staying positive when you really feel like screaming....


Wednesday, March 1, 2023

Wednesday, Better today

Aunty and I are stuck in her room as the floor people have all the appliances shoved into the place where she is sewing, and they have taken over my shop to cut the linoleum. So, we are both on her bed just watching the telly.

I am much better today.  Signe' spent the night with me and that made me feel better.  Lil sis came over and talked me off the ledge.  I woke up to bloggers who commented and made me feel better.  I just cannot imagine getting through all of this without you guys.

I really am trying to get myself in a more stable place, but it is just so hard. I feel like this whiney crying baby all the time.  I am not used to myself being so needy.  I don't like me.  But here I am.

Aunty and I watched Sense and Sensibility last night.  She had never seen it. Then she woke me this morning (I was able to sleep in) by sticking her head in the door and saying, "Madam the floor people are here." It was so funny.

The house is torn up again and I have a wedding dress to get out by tomorrow.  I also have a wedding alteration for a second fitting due tomorrow, so I have a lot to do today, and I cannot put it off.  Which is good for me, as I have become the queen of putting things off.

I am feeling very blessed today, and I hope I can maintain that feeling. Yesterday was the record for bad days since Joel passed. May I not top it.

I have three appointments coming in later this afternoon and I have to go to the bank and get cash for the floor guys. 

Sissie just called and told me that her husband had finally made the decision to move here upon retirement. That will be in a little over a year.  I am so excited. I love my brother-in-law and he is a great comfort to me.  When you marry a twin, it is a package deal. Joel always knew that Kay was my other half, and she was included in all of our dealings. Actually, he always accepted Lil sis in the same way.  He would do anything for her. 

Well, I am off to get something done.  Anything done.

Have a great and productive day.  (I am going to try to)