Saturday, September 30, 2017

Saturday, Up and att'em, splat!

     Had this big day planned where I would sleep in and then do yard work most of the day. The sleeping in went out the window when I woke up early with a splitting headache.  Laid in bed for another hour hoping to go back to sleep gave up and got up.  Now I am trying to get rid of said headache and I have been attacked by a bad case of the lazies.  Hub's would like me to go on a long walk and I think to myself, "you really should go and walk the bridges." 

     It is a beautiful fall day and I hate to waste it lying around on the couch watching junk TV.  So maybe I will go for that walk and try to get myself motivated not to waste this wonderful day.

     Added to my savings account yesterday, now just hoping it can stay there.  There are so many things I could or should do right now.  But my butt is hooked to this chair......

Have a great and productive day, because I am going to do as little as possible, I think....

Kim :)

Friday, September 29, 2017

Friday, Woo Hoo!

       I love me a Friday.  Don't know why but is still just signals the end of a crazy busy week.  I have many things to do today and finish up.  I did a huge pile of ripping ( as in get things ready to sew).  Also went last night picked up zippers to put in items.  You all know how I love zippers.(snark)  I have a Wedding dress and a veil to finish.  Then I will get my work ready for Monday.

  I am hoping to get some Fall clean up yard work done tomorrow.  Not sure if this will happen as life may take over in the form of mother and other more needed things around the house.  Laundry is a must do and I am afraid the ironing basket will become its own continent soon.

     I'm thinking navy bean soup for dinner tonight.  I am going to try and make at least one pot of soup every week this fall and winter.  It is good for you, warms you up and is easy on the grocery budget. Plus I have beans in storage coming out my ears.

     It is so nice to have a weekend to look forward to with no set plans.  Just a do what you do weekend.  I don't get many of those.  So I cherish them.

  What does your weekend hold?

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.


Thursday, September 28, 2017

Thursday, Motivation?

     Finding motivation everyday to continue this journey of becoming debt free is a struggle.  I am tired and I often feel like all I do is work and pay bills and I never get anywhere.  I know we have made great strides forward, but I can't help getting a little worn down and blue with the amount of time it is taking.

     The one thing I have figured out over the years is that if I cut myself back to nothing, I start to explode and re enter the debt cycle.  Which is why  Hub's and I travel some, and treat ourselves a little.

Things I am finally noticing in this struggle.

  •   Becoming debt free becomes easier when you can see that you have everything you need and then some. 
  •   It becomes easier when you count your blessings and realize what you really have. 
  •   It also becomes easier when you focus on experiences rather than things. 
  •   It becomes easier when you focus on others and not yourself.
     Right now I think I am just overtired, between mom and mom and mom and the shop I am a little overwhelmed.  Everyday I set goals for myself to accomplish a certain amount of work.  Those goals are usually met and when they aren't the excuse is .......  I over estimated my ability.  Okay so I think I am superhuman and I am not.  I don't even have a cape to wear.  Can someone make me a cape?  If I had a cape I think is would make all the difference.

    Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.


Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Wednesday,Why bother?

     I am beginning to ask myself why I bother to try and catch up?  Yesterday I had a wedding dress come in and 2 prom dresses and a myriad of small things.  I stayed up late ripping dresses and a suit coat and pants and, a wedding dress.....

     I guess I will just keep plugging along as there is nothing else I can think of to do.  It's not like a little fairy is going to come along and do the work for me, right?

     I took the pillow to my sister last night and she loved it. We visited for a little while as mom wanted to get out of the house.  She is not spending as much time at Lil sis's as she used to and I think she misses the change.

     I made a shepherds pie for dinner and also that huge pot of vegetable spaghetti sauce.  Mom frosted all her cookies with a lemon butter cream frosting and I made hubs a batch of chocolate cupcakes.  He will take cupcakes and cookies up to his old office.  They love treats and I sent treats all the time when he was working.  So they are sadly in need of some goodies.

     I did something different yesterday but I think is made me more tired I am not sure.  I started sewing first thing and sewed until 2:30 then I went up to cook and watch mom with her cookies.  Usually I try to get everything done in the house and then go down to the shop.  But as of late that seems to be later and later in the day. It was just that after I got people fed and I rested during the news, I still had hand work to do, mom wanted to go to Lil sis's and I still needed to clean the kitchen.  I am not sure it is a better system.  Actually either way I am tired.  At least today dinner is done and all I have to do in the kitchen is mop the floor.

     While we were cooking yesterday I cleaned the fridge one shelf at a time.  It was so bad.  I have been ignoring it for several weeks.  Usually I pull everything out clean it all at once and put everything back.  The one shelf at a time was much less mess and far easier.  The kitchen was a nightmare anyway with tomatoes, yellow and zucc squash, peppers, onions, frosting, cookies , mom, three burners going and the oven.  But as I was making a mess anyway, it was just much easier to clean the fridge in the mist of the disaster zone.

     So today I will go and batch up the sauce and freeze and then hit the sewing room.  Get a few dresses done and some other alterations, call a bride in for a second fitting, go and clean out the dressing room that has at least 4 dresses in there right now.  That way if I don't see them they are not there right?

     I am blessed with work.

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.


Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Tuesday, Art pillow

      I used my TV time to create this very crude Art pillow for my sister's bedroom.  It is a  funky style.  Her bedroom is very plain and needed some color.  She has purchased several art pillows but I just wanted to create one for fun. My embroidery is crude but that is what I wanted.  I did not want dainty.  I wanted texture.  This was made entirely from scraps, I did not buy a thing.  I like that part the best.  Reusing things that others would normally throw away.  Okay some of you are probably thinking....(well I would throw that away)

Onto yesterday, or back to yesterday.  Mom kept me on a dead run until 3 in the afternoon and she would have continued except I had to get to work.  I so need to catch up a little and I don't know why I try as 5 more dresses came in yesterday afternoon.  I am blessed with work.

     We had left overs for dinner, and they were good. But today I have to make something.  Hmm.... I have three pounds of ground beef in the fridge that I will cook up and I think I will make another huge pot of spaghetti sauce.  Mom is craving shepherds pie so we will see where that goes.  I gave away and used up all the sauce I made, so I will try and freeze some of this.

     I did not get half of what I needed to get done in the shop so I am behind the 8-ball.  I did get three items ripped and ready so if I can get 5 major things done I will feel like I am back on track.  Don't know why I plan these huge piles of work that no human can accomplish without distraction and I have major distraction.

     At least I stay motivated.  Motivated to hurt someone.  Lord give me strength.

Mom and I made 8 dozen sour cream cookies yesterday.  She is too weak to be left alone baking.  She can't remember what has been put in a batter and she can't see good enough to take things in and out of the oven so I have to stay close.  Which means I waste time between batches.  I was inspired by many of the blogs to put out my fall decor.  So I ran around between cookie trays and put things out.  I also was able to do all but two loads of laundry.  I will finish those up this morning  and ignore the ironing they have created.  It was a lot of running up and down stairs.

     I did get the shop cleaned up as in the floors, but I left the kitchen a horrid mess.  I guess that is okay as mom will want to frost her cookies and I can make sauce and clean the fridge, make a shepherds pie and clean up all at once.  But I will tackle my sewing first today.  After my 5 items are done, I will head upstairs to fight with the kitchen and finish cleaning and putting out some decorations.

     Let's see, hem and take in a strapless bridesmaid dress., Take in another strapless wedding dress, replace a zipper in a pair of  jeans, make a cover for a meat slicer, reinforce an extra large American Flag.  Call a few people for pick-up and then I can start on today's work.

     At least you can never call me bored.  I would love to be bored.  If you could buy bored I would even use a credit card:)

     Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.


Monday, September 25, 2017

Monday, Money Saving Madness

     It was a nice weekend here.  I was busy doing things that made me happy.  I know, I know I have so much work that needs to be done, but sometimes a girl just has to do a few fun things.

     Mom spent Friday night with Lil sis.  I slept in Saturday morning and then went to help the new studio owner story board Scrooge.  I received a call from lil sis that mom had had a bad  potty accident in a rest room at K-mart.  Mom was mortified, lil sis was mortified and felt so bad for her.  She called to tell me that she had dropped mom off at the house and that she needed a shower. 

     Great so I rush home and try to get her to shower but she just wants to sleep.  I can see that she is very, very depressed and upset.  I felt that letting her nap for a while was good and Hub's and I went on a bike ride while she slept.  When we returned home she was still sleeping.  Hub's went to play in the pit and mom woke up about 8 p.m.  She was hungry and wanted to go out.  I told her she had to shower and clean up.  Then we drove all over and nothing was open.  We ended up at Shari's.  It was the worst meal ever.  I just had water as I wasn't hungry.  But we laughed all the way through the courses as each one was worse than the one before.

     The coffee was so black it was sucking in planets.  Then the tomato soup so salty it was inedible.  The cracker packets were stale, like hard tack.   The baked potato was stone cold and old.  We did have them re heat the old potato but it was still rock hard and awful.  The shrimp was all breading.  Then her pie had no bottom crust and looked more like a plop of pudding.  Our waitress was lovely and we felt sorry for her trying to serve such bad food. But we have retold our bad meal story with some good laughs.

     I am trying to get mom over her incident, she feels like she is now house bound and is afraid to go any where, but I will not let her wallow.

     My spare time was spent working on an art pillow for my sister's bedroom.  I have the front done and will assemble it some time today if I can find the time between house work and the shop.

     Money Saving madness:

1. following Anne in the Kitchen on her using what was in the pantry, has helped me realize just how much good food I really have at my finger tips.  try cooking out of your stockpile for the week and see what you can do!
2. Ate the last of the pasta sauce on Monday, fed three of us sewing and mom and Hub's
3.  Pulled a left over ham bone out of freezer, added onion, carrot, split peas and made a large delicious pot of soup.  Again fed 3 seamstress's and mom and hub's with left overs for lunches.
4.  Only shopped for milk, fresh veggies at store but found ground beef on sale again so could not pass it up and bought about 20 lbs and took it home and refroze in small batches.
5.Ate only at home except for mom's meal out which she paid for.
6.  Fed lots of scraps to chickens.  No food waste here.
7. reused plastic bags and containers
8. Made a wedding dress for one of my dancers.  Total cost $187.00 (they paid for materials)
    a. 10 yards of beaded lace with double trimmed edging at $34.99 yard.  Use Joanns 1/2 off coupon,also $3.05  zipper  with coupon.

    b. Purchase 3 wedding dresses at goodwill on $1.00 wedding dress day.  So $3.00
    c.  Use under skirt and lining from one.  Beautiful thick bridal satin with long train. Cut it and use as pattern on lace yardage, piece and put back together, now you have a perfect expansive thick under skirt for you lace.
    d.  Use three slips from under dresses and combine them to make a huge under skirt. Attach to a piece of lining and add and a drawstring waist.
    e.  Cut lace edging of yardage giving us 20 yards of beautiful heavy lace trim.  10 were used on the dress.  I get to keep 10 yards to use on someone else s dress and I will make good money on this!
    d. pulled boning stays out of one used dress for new dress, also bra cups, and pulled 100 bridal buttons off one of the dresses.
    e.  Cut bodice and under linings for bodice out of other  used dresses.
    f.  Used scraps from lace layer to do all the endroi embroidery on the bodice.

9. Made a beautiful art pillow for sister with just scraps from her curtains and things in the shop.
10. Used many veggies out of our garden for cooking and eating.
11. Went on a thrift store run and purchase a nice gift for youngest daughter  $9.99,a beautiful hand crocheted lace table runner $1.80, and a beautiful fall table cloth, that can cover my table twice so cut it in 1/2 for cloth and napkins $1.77.  Also a pair of brand new dansko clogs. $12.50

So I called it a good week.  Well I have plenty to do and I am going to get mom upstairs to make a large batch of sour cream cookies.  Gotta keep her busy and useful.

Made a large roast from freezer so,left overs today.

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.


Friday, September 22, 2017

Friday,fun with mother and arthritis

      I spent most of yesterday sewing to catch up on small stuff.  I will continue that today.  It is nice to be able to sit on the sofa late at night and not have to work on beading a wedding dress.  Right now I am working on a pillow for my sister.  It is just fun to do something just because you want to and not because you have to.

     I try to get mom out of the house at least once a day.  It is easy for her to walk three steps and sit or lay down.  She does not get enough time on her feet and she grows weaker. Yesterday I took her to women's group at her church.  She was just going to use her cane.  I put her walker into the car anyway and when we arrived at the church she quickly changed her mind and said she needed the walker.  She is so frail.  But she wants and demands her independence when in public.  So my last words to her were, "Mom don't raise your hand, you can just write a check".  I made sure she had her purse.

     In the mean time I was busy trying not to freeze to death in my shop.  My bodies temperature gauge does not work right.  It cannot handle the cold.  Once I get cold I cannot get warm.  I have to soak in a tub of hot water and raise my body temperature to find any comfort.  I literally hurt from the cold. Last night I could not get warm and I did not want to get up and get in the tub, I just wanted to sleep.  After an hour I went a found the heating pad but it took me another 1.5 hours to stop shivering with three quilts on me.  It was mostly my wrists and hands, I just could not warm them up. I have a heater next to me in the shop that blows hot air on me while I sew.  It is running full blast right now.

     Fall is my favorite season but you will find me in a hot bath almost every day. One of the ways I know the season is changing is the number of times the tub calls my name. I turned the heat on this morning, it is early but I cannot suffer any more.  I know it will turn of warm again, and I will just turn it off.

     Mom came home from her meeting and she was tired and hungry.  Didn't they feed her at the luncheon?  Yes but she enters the house and has an innate desire to be waited on by me.  I made her a fruit plate.  Then I went back to work as I was finally starting to warm up.  She is talking from the bedroom, trying to come up with a story about how no one had any ideas or would take charge of any of the meetings in the next few months.  But she had suggested that they could do something in December, such as......  "Mom, did you raise your hand?"

"Well no not will be easy.... (easy for who)  Finally after a long conversation I had her admit she had volunteered me.  Yeah I figured as much.  It will be easy for her.  I will do all the work.

     Next she has to go to the bank.  Right in the middle of my day.  So I get Hub's to watch the shop and take her to the bank, where she has to go inside and I cannot come with her.

     I pulled meatballs out of the freezer and ran to the garden for a spaghetti squash and also dug enough potatoes for three meals.  So we had meatballs,gravy, squash and spuds for dinner. Later in the evening Hub's left for the theater and mom wanted to get her flu shot, I needed milk and some binding, so we took off for Wal-mart.

     I got mom a cart and told her to meet me at her usual rest stop in front of the store.  I toddled around and when I was checking out no mom.  So I went back to the pharmacy and she was still filling out paper work.  I waited quietly in the background.  The tech finally told her to go to the blue box in the corner and have a seat and they would be right out.  Mom takes off the wrong way, I step in a whisper, "turn around that box over there'.  Mom turns walks a few feet runs her cart into a display, I jump in to help she gives me the look of death.  So I scurry back to my cart. She completely misses the big blue box like structure with the chairs in it.  I go around and aisle and meet her and whisper, "Mom you missed the box, turn around".  She turns and hits the box wall and then adjusts herself and peaks around the corner and turns to say to me, " I am just going to sit in one of those chairs for a while I have been on my feet too long."  Great mom because those are the chairs in the box where you are supposed to SIT.  Her sight is so bad and she wants to drive.

     After her shot she could hardly make it out of the store.  She had just been on her feet more than she could handle.  It took too long, her breathing was sketchy, I had to have a clerk help me get her into the car.  On the way home as we are driving into the garage, she says, "I am hungry, could you make me a grilled cheese sandwich." 
     "Feeling a bit peckish mom."  The woman has eaten all day long.  I don't say anything just get her to her room and go upstairs to make her a sandwich , I cleaned up the kitchen while it was cooking.  When I brought down her sandwich she was in her bathroom and she was crying.  "Mom what is the matter? What happened? Why are you crying?  She just waves her hand at me, this is a sure sign that she has done something.  My next remark is, What did you do?  More tears.

     I went into her room and she has spilled an entire quart container of dark chocolate pudding all over her bed clothes.  And did she hit every blanket and a couple pillows and the sheets and the heavy chenille spread? ( white by the way) You bet you she did.  She is smearing it all over with a wash rag.  I start to strip the bed.  "No I will just wipe it up and sleep with it."  "Mom chocolate stains, we have to put these to soak."  So I changed all her bedding while she laid on her stripped bed eating her grilled cheese.

     Yes , Linda I am doing linens AGAIN.

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.


Thursday, September 21, 2017

Thursday,ready to play catch up!

     As I slept most of the day yesterday, even took an evening nap and went to bed early.  I was useless when I was awake.  I think I ate some potato chips yesterday.  Yes I remember now, I found a bag on the floor by the couch and I ate some, then I went to back to bed. How is that for a healthy diet?

     Today I have to attack the pile.  As in catch up on the 20 items that are due out tomorrow plus the other things that are looming. I just returned all the phone calls people left yesterday while I was sleeping.  I don't know why like I need more work.  But I feel as a business owner I need to return calls.

     Hub's opens tonight so need to press his blacks and I have free evenings coming up.  Yippee!

So today is sewing, laundry, maybe a little house work, find something for dinner.

I feel like a thousand pounds has been lifted off me and my schedule has freed up.  It is a nice feeling.  After so much stress, I can use the break.

     Studio owner needs help story boarding the Christmas show so I am, mulling scenes from that in my head.  It is alwasy something.

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.


Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Wednesday, sorry I over slept

This is a picture of the bottom of my notion holder some thread spools and a shelf in my shop.  You get to see this when you lay down by the ironing board after you have sewn all night.  Yes I saw 7:35 this morning when the bride was leaving with a smile on her face.  I stumbled to bed and got up at 10:20 to help a customer and then back to bed until 3:30.  Hubs had to handle the rest.  Now I have a load of phone calls to return and I need to start my day!

Here is a picture of the happy bride taken after sewing all night and all day and all the day before...
She wanted and all lace dress with a scoop neck and a very full skirt.  I think this bugger weighed in at 40 pounds when it was done. Look at the pile of things behind her that need to be done.  Ugh!

This dress is also covered in beads and pearls.

 Here she is with her dress bustled.  The steamer cord adds to the ambiance.

With the full cathedral train.  Also 100 hundred buttons up the back.  Yes 100 I was sewing them on at 6:30 this morning as her mother finished hand sewing the lace around the bottom.  But she was thrilled and they are off.  This dress was not due out until October 5th but with her school and different family things going on they moved the date up.  What an adventure.

     I normally do not make Wedding dresses for anyone but my kids and nieces they are  just too much work.  But this child is one of my dancers that I feel like I raised.  She went on to dance professionally with River dance and now she is getting married.  Her mom and I have been through many an all night project getting shows up and running.  All I can say is it turned out beautifully and never again!

     I threw together a big pot of split pea soup that we are still eating on.  Hub's in in hell week with his show.  One of the cellists is coming over to borrow one of our cello's as hers has developed a crack and is buzzing every one out of tune.  I am so glad I insist on keeping all the instruments ready to play.  As in good strings and bows re haired.  Now we are not scrambling to get strings in this small town or frantically driving 120 miles to get a set in Spokane.

Well I have plenty to do and it is late so I am off.

Have a great and productive day staying  positive while you are in the negative.


Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Tuesday, turning cold

     Beside having a cold, it has turned cold here.  So weird as we have had no rain all summer and it has been so very hot.  I have loved it.  I love the heat.  Now I have to go into pants and clogs and socks. ( Oh and maybe a shirt and sweater, this was added after I proof read)We will still get about 6 more weeks of Indian summer.  Right now we have had heavy rain for two days. The farmers are loving it and so are we.  I don't have to water my boxes always a nice break.

     Still a little achy and off my feed so to speak.  I worked all day on my custom wedding dress.  Which means I sat on my butt and did not move anything except a hand needle. I hope to have the dress finished by this evening.  Still applying lace to the bodice, but I think the end is in sight.  I can't wait to see the finished product.  It will also be nice to get the large mess out of the shop.

     We are going to have split pea soup for dinner.  I have everything here to make it and it will be good with the cool, weather.  You navy bean sound good also maybe I will make a pot of that this weekend.  Doesn't fall just say soup?

Here are some of my favorite soups.

navy bean
split pea
chicken with homemade noodles
cream of broccoli
stew ( mans first meal)
clam chowder
corn chowder
German noodle

I have a tendency to like thicker heavier soups and am not to big on broth soups although I will eat almost any kind of soup.  Add a salad and some good bread and wow you ave a meal or the way I cook several meals.

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.


Monday, September 18, 2017

Monday, pounding head, money saving madness

     When you run a business out of your home you really don't get a day off.  My head is pounding.  But I did get a full 8 hours of sleep last night so nice and unusual for me.  I have a had two customers here one while I was in the tub. Thank goodness Hub's was able to take car of it.   

     I was asked to teach tonight but I am not up to it.  I feel bad turning it down, but I just can't with the vertigo added by this cold I would probably just make a fool of myself.  Which I do regularly but not on purpose.

     I am sending hub's out on errands this morning.  I need stamps and soda a large soda from McD's will make me feel loved I think.  We will have pasta for dinner, with left over sauce.  Now I can just go into neutral and do what I can. Hub's can also bring up the laundry and take down the dirty and take down the baby's crib and put it and the high chair away.  Maybe straighten the kitchen. Hmmm.... change the sheets in the guest room, I could keep going with this.  I even had him cutting out lace motifs last night as my eyes hurt.

Onto Money saving madness:

1. Fed all table scraps to chickens
2. Cooked form my cupboards almost exclusivly
3. Picked plenty of produce from garden and either used or froze for later.
4.  Made a huge pot of spaghetti sauce using my own garlic, tomatoes,onions, peppers, two kinds of squash, and the grass fed ground beef I bought for 1.99 a lb.  Fed us twice last week and also another family and tonight so that is great.
5. Made many items from scratch to eat and enjoy.
6. Helped sister save money by re purposing curtains.
8. Bought more burger on a 1.99 close out.  Sorry Anne I just could not pass it up. Hub's batched and froze it for me.
9.reused plastic containers all week, not one tupperware.  This really works.
10.Made the move to lower an interest rate on an major debt.
11. purchased a couple of Christmas gifts at a second hand store where they re purpose and paint items.
12. Actually only spent $33.15 at grocery store due to challenge with Anne in the kitchen.
13. Culled out several old blouses with stains and paint to help with clutter also rid Hub's of several really worn out short sleeve shirts.  Clutter costs money and time.
14. Picked up 4 new short sleeve shirts for Hub's at close out prices of $5.99 for next year.
15. Happened onto two beautiful larger white ceramic  flower pots at K-mart.  $1.49  I usually buy pots second hand and spray them white.  These were originally $9.99.  My plants need to be upgraded to bigger pots.

So I have been busy.

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.



Sunday, September 17, 2017

Sunday, home with a cold

     I could feel this coming on for the last few days, in unusual body aches, and chilly.  I blames the aches on arthritis and the chills on the weather turning.  I blamed the heavy chest, and irritated eyes on the smoke in the air.  Well I guess I was wrong.  So here I sit with Hub's at church and I am shivering.  Will go hop in the tub in a minute.

     I have almost enough put aside to pay the car repair and I am down on my other totals.. I was hoping to be in the 40's on the house next month but that would mean add quite a bit to the mortgage payment.  I will have to boost back up the savings before I can do anything like that so I will have to be patient.

     Friday night I took a break from wedding sewing to help Lil sis with curtains and things.  We took her old very expensive drapes and made them into a bed ruffle with a scalloped edge and also scalloped valances for the windows.  I shortened her shears.  I have one large curtain left for dresser scarves and a couple of throw pillows.

     Yesterday I spent most of the day at her house scraping and cleaning old dried off paint off the hard wood floor.  She pulled all the carpets up on the second level.  They were stained and awful.  Under neath were wood floors a with lots of paint on them.  We got two room done yesterday.  There are two more bedrooms and a long hall to finish. 

     D#2 and Will came to supper at about 6:30.  I worked at sis's until 5:00.  Ran home and pulled two pie crusts out of the freezer, popped them in the microwave on defrost.  Rolled them out and threw together 2 pumpkin pies.  Then I made a double batch of popovers.  While they were cooking, I took left over corn on the cob out of the fridge and reheated it added potatoes that I mashed and thin cut pork steaks with gravy.  Homemade sour cherry jam on the popovers.  Yum!

    It was a great meal with everything on hand.  No $25.00 pies from the farmers market here.  When D#3 called last night she asked that D#2 drop off some pumpkin pie to her so I sent up 1/2 a pie.

      I am feeling a little frustrated on the close to $2500.00 I have had to put out in the last month on fix-its.  I just think of how nice it would have been to pay off a bill.  I hope I am done with repairs for a while.  I am not going backward and I should be grateful that I don't have to borrow money like I would have in the past.  Just complaining and whining for sympathy.

     I am in the 8's on the kitchen home loan!  Just keep plugging along.  By this time next year I hope to be rid of both of them and I can be if things quit breaking.

Have a  peaceful Sabbath


Friday, September 15, 2017

Friday, grandson is here,

     We had a an unexpected visit from our grandson and his mom.  He wears you out just chasing him.  He is a little red haired dynamo and so fun.  He has been entertaining Grandma and great grandma all morning.  I can't get anything done.  How do parents get anything done?  How did I get the things done I did when I had little ones?  Do we just forget how much we ran?  How much we said no. no.

     I actually was able to clean house yesterday, not deep clean but clean enough to keep things going.  Mom stayed in bed all day yesterday and got up about 4 p.m.  She is bruised but feels okay and ate a good dinner.  I took her out for a strawberry shake about 8:30 last night.  Just to get her out of the house.  I also did about 30 pieces of ironing.  I only have about 5 pieces left and my ironing basket will be empty until I wash clothes again.  Yippee!  Now that is an accomplishment.

     I also made a huge stock pot full of vegetable ground beef spaghetti sauce and froze 12 containers.  It is so good.  The fridge was full of small zucchini, yellow squash, onions, garlic, peppers, and i bough a big container of mushrooms on sale last week.  I also had enough fresh tomatoes to make sauce but not enough to can a batch of tomatoes, so it was a win,win.

     Today I have to finish up a wedding dress, and work on my pile o' alterations.  I promised myself I could do something fun like help my sister with her house if I got my quota done today.

     I also found out how much my car is going to be.  Just under $1000.00.  Is it a wonder I cannot save any money?  I thought it would be about $500.00.  Crap discouraging but doable.  I wonder what is going to break down next?  Probably me!

     I just have to remember, I have food to eat, a roof over my head, clothes to wear, a family that loves me and good friends.  So I will make it.  I won't make it today or tomorrow but with a positive attitude I will make it someday!

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.


Thursday, September 14, 2017

Thursday, excitment not needed, thankyou.

     Yesterday was sew, sew, sew.  I was able to get the bridesmaid dress done (I still have to press it).  I was able to get another wedding dress ready for a second fitting which will happen this afternoon.Then hemmed another wedding dress.  So I felt pretty good about things.

     Mom had to have a shot in her eye yesterday and this always wipes her out.  We did not get home from the doctors until after 3:00.  My whole day was almost gone.  I made mom some food and got to work.  Luckily I had dinner planned and Hub's had a long rehearsal so he was not in my face.

     I was at my machine when I got a call from hubs at 7:05.  I tried to answer it but he did not answer.  So I thought oh he just butt dialed me when he was turning off his phone.  I then had a bride in for a drop off and the last pageant fitting, (of course they brought me another dress, an easy one but grrrr!).  Finally at 7:55 I realize I have a text from hubs.   It came in right after his first phone call.  They needed a piano light at rehearsal, but all it said in the text was school.  So what school?  We have four different schools they could be at.  Sometimes they rehearse at one school but have the show at another.  I tried our local high school first and sure enough I lucked out.  However hub's has keys to the whole building why he could not go into the band room and get a light is beyond me.  I guess their light was broken.

       So as the play was in full rehearsal I crawled under and around and plugged our spare piano light into the stage outlet and then crawled and slipped the light up on the piano.  I looked like a prairie dog, popping my head up among the instruments.  The pianist was laughing as I was crawling out.  I thought I had cleared the drum section when I stood up but alas my head hit the double cymbal and I was able to make a quiet exit.  NOT~!

     I went home and continued to work on the bodice of the custom dress.  Mom came out of her room about 10:30 and asked when we were having supper.  I laughed as supper was 5 hours ago.  She sleeps hard after her eye shot.  I made her some dinner and she ate in her chair as I continued sewing.  The Carole Burnett show was on her TV and she wanted to go watch it.  As she got up to go to her room she lost her balance.  I could see her trying to  regain her balance but she was going backwards.  I could not get to her in time.  I was also ( this would be my luck) holding a white wedding dress and a needle.  She went down backwards on her bottom and struck her head on the corner of our TV cabinet.

     It was so scary.  She was holding her head and I asked her if I should call an ambulance.  She said no she just had a bad bump.  She was crying a little and then asked for some ice.  I ran upstairs and got an ice pack and a cloth when I came down she was on her stomach with her head in her hands.  Now her hands are full of blood and I realize she has a large cut in she skull just under her hairline.  I ran up to get Hubs who was getting ready for bed.  Then back down and put pressure on her wound.  Hubs and I got her to her feet she was able to walk with help. As we headed out of the basement she tried to go through the shop.  Her hands are out in front of her and blood in running in her good eye.  All I could see was the 4 wedding dresses hanging where she could touch them.

     Both hubs and I together said "Oh no you don't."  We headed her down the hall and out to the car.  I told hubs to go back to bed as he has another long rehearsal tomorrow, but mom wanted him with.  When we got to the hospital I was so shook up I could not get my hands off the steering wheel.  It was like they were stuck.  They were stuck with sticky drying blood.  SO gross.

     Mom actually was very lucid and and the cut was glued shut.  It would have required 8 stitches and I thought it was pretty slick.  We were home within an hour.  But neither of us could sleep until about three.  She is very sore today.  I slept with her last night as I did not want her to get up to the bathroom by herself.

     Today I am wiped out.  Too much excitement.  I have two more bridal fittings later today.  I also have to get things on the pile done.  I would really like to do some house work if possible.

     My life is never boring.

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.


Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Wednesday, Interst charges, my killer


          I was so excited to get below 14,000 on my studio card this month.  I could not wait to open it.  Well because of the Fed interest rates going up over the past year, my interest rate went up 3%.  So over 1/2 my huge payment is now going to interest.  I realize that this is my debt, but I feel so abused and used.  I called my credit union where the card is issued and they will allow me to lower the interest on a promotion for one year.  I will get an interest rate of 4.99.

     So that is one of the things I will be doing today.  Mom also has an eye doctor appointment.  I need to do some banking and pay the house payment and another bill.

     I am paying much more attention to these charges.  After reading a dime at a time I was inspired to go after this problem.  When you are heavily in a debt and have bad credit you cannot ask for anything from a bank.  Although I feel heavily in debt I am not according to the bank and I have good credit.  Debt and the guilt that goes with it paralyzes you.  Then when you see the waste of interest charges it can become very discouraging.  So every day I try to tell myself I am one day closer to getting out of debt.  I am so much better off today than I was two years ago. 

     As soon as I get this done I will feel like I can breath a little deeper.   Also having to have the bill paid off a year from now is great incentive to push harder.  Be more grateful for my busy shop.  Find more ways to save a penny or two.  Attack, attack, attack, that debt!  My new cheerleader cry.

     I was able to get the last large piece of pageant things done yesterday and I will be working on a bridesmaid dress and two wedding dresses today.  Hoping to finish them.  Then I must attack the pile!  Yes the pile is ever growing.  Was able to work a couple of hours on the custom bodice and I can finally see progress.  I was really hoping to have that completed as much as possible by Friday evening, but that does not look like it is going to happen.  We will see.

     I always think I can do more than I really can.  Do any of you overestimate your time and resources?

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.


Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Tuesday, Curve balls

     Life is full of curve balls.  I have had many hit me recently.  I try dodging them but I was never good at getting out of the way.  I am fast but I have a tendency not to see them coming:)

     So in order to cover the bruises of being hit by these bits of life, I find small ways to give myself joy or happiness.  Doing for others makes me happy.  Creating makes me happy.  Accomplishing things makes me happy.  Even ironing 5 pieces of the grumbling pile in the corner can make me feel better.  Being productive makes me happy.

     Sitting around contemplating bad luck, or old bad decisions(debt) does not help you.  Moving forward and doing something does.  Finding small ways to save money is an accomplishment.  Working at something to make your life better or more beautiful will bring a sense of purpose in the chaos.  Right now my twin is helping a neighbor every day work on an awful back yard. Sis will get to look at the beauty she helped create and also help a neighbor.  Work is a blessing.  Having a purpose is a blessing.  Helping others blesses your life and smacks back the curve ball that just hit you.  So if you are having a bad day ( like yesterday) or a bad month, try to do something for someone else.  Or do something for yourself.  Bake something, read something, plan something, dream something, produce something.

     The shop was so busy yesterday and I struggled mightily to stay the course. Pretty proud of myself and also very tired today.  I just want to sleep and sleep.  Head achy, and having trouble breathing deep, hope I am not coming down with something:)

     Well I am doing well at eating out of the pantry and such.  Hub's however had to go to the store last night.  We spent  $32.00 approx.  Breakfast cereal, and fresh fruit, a few things for mother.  We were out of everything we bought so I felt okay about this. Also bought copper and silver polish.  I use copper polish almost every day. ( I use it on my face:)

     I have to complete two  pageant items in the shop before I can start on the pile.  Yes there is a pile.  So today is a little laundry if I can get it in and finishing the pageant things.  Then I have another wedding dress that needs to go out before the end of the week,the pile and continue working on my custom dress.  I need to finish the bodice and I want to have the skirt done by the end of the week.  I keep reminding myself that it is only Tuesday.  I can do this if I am left alone. Yeah like that will happen.

     I have a pile of curtains that I will fix for Lil sis when I can get to it.  I love doing things to help her with her house, because I love to create.  It gives my joy.

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.



Monday, September 11, 2017

Monday, money saving madness!

     It was a lovely weekend.  I was busy but able to puts at things I wanted to do.  Got in a couple of naps, a little cleaning, worked several hours on a Wedding dress bodice.  I am not even half done with the embroidery, but can see progress.  Went to several second hand stores.  There is a new one that opened up and it is lovely.

     I have several things I need to accomplish today.  I want to finish up my pumpkin project.  I need to vacuum the living room.  I need to clean up again after making pumpkins as I have un done my clean up work from last week.  I am just like a kid in that respect.  I also need to water the plants inside and out and clean up my kitchen.  I am hoping to do those things before I hit my shop this morning.

     I agreed to go in a sub an 1.5 hour ballet class at 5:00 so I will have to get my sewing for the day day done this afternoon.  I have a major fitting of three pageant dresses at 4:00 so I must get busy each of them needs some work and one needs major work so I will be plenty busy.  I will continue to work on the wedding dress at night while I watch some TV.  As it is all hand work, it just seems to go faster when I watch something.

Money Saving Madness:

1. Ate out of garden and out of freezer all week. Trying to keep up with Anne in no grocery spending.

2.  Did not buy any groceries, but margarine that mom needed for her banana bread.

3.Bought all things for my pumpkin craft project at 1/2 off sale at second hand store, I was even able
to pick up my batting there for .89 cents!

4.Went to see daughter and spent no money eating out.  I cooked for her and family.

5. Had a client bring over 4 sets of beautiful king size sheets and pillow covers.  One set was brand new.  I will not be buying sheets for a while and I re gifted two sets to our auto mechanic.

6. Lil sis wanted a quilt rack at the foot of her bed for her heavy bedspread and I found one for her for 2.98 at a thrift store.  Added a little new paint and it is perfect.

7. Made Lil sis's birthday gift and bought her a nice gifty on sale in a close out.

8.  Made birthday cake with everything on hand after attempting to buy one.  But then thought of the waste and my challenge with Anne.

9.Made several loaves of banana bread with mom to use up old bananas.  This is great to take out of freezer for a sweet when needed.

10. reused sour cream and cottage cheese containers for leftovers.

11. Went to get sewing supplies armed with coupons.

12. lined dried all linens

13. Lengthened a couple pairs of shorts for me that I had bought on a great sale.  I alter many of my clothes in order to save money.  I like good quality and I will buy them bigger to get a good sale price.
So what did you do this week to save money?

  Hub's said we were out of breakfast cereal, ( see what happens if you don't go to the store?) so I will be getting some of that today along with my list of chores and work.

Going back and proof reading ( I usually don't do this if you haven't noticed) I am already tired.  I will have to be the little engine that could today!

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.



Saturday, September 9, 2017

Saturday, irritated and blessed ?

     I had such high hopes for yesterday.  I had planned a some what free day.  A day to clean and do a few things I wanted to get done outside of sewing and sewing and sewing.  Well that was not to be.  The shop was just none stop busy. Client after client and many had to try on.  Brides picked up and had to be laced in and about, suits had to be measured.  Pageant contestant had 3 major items to second fit.  Among other drop offs and pick ups, it was just run, run, run.

     By 5:30 in the evening I was so tired and I was irritated.  What happened to my day?  I know I am blessed with work and I am grateful as we need to money.  I need to get money back in savings and I have no idea how much my car is going to cost to fix.  I just wanted a day.  Does any body else out there get these feelings?  Is it just me?  Am alone?  Do I need to write a sad song?  I can you know.....

     I went to bed and tallied my day and I guess it wasn't so bad just to much up and down the stairs.  Let's see, I did get

1. Mom's laundry all done a second time after a bad accident (don't ask) I was pulling dry sheets and towels off the fence about ( at night)
2. I did get the upstairs spare bath cleaned and scrubbed
3.  I did get the sheets changed and the guest room ready for company.
4. I got the hallway swept and mopped.
5. I did 18 pieces of ironing
6. finally at 11;00 last night I was able to vacuum mom's room and clean the family room. 
7. pulled all furniture into middle of living room in preparation to do hardwood floors.

Now today I have to finish the stairs and the front room.

At least the shop is not open today.

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.


Friday, September 8, 2017

Friday, with Monday's post...

     First of all I want you to see my cute little pumpkins I made out of old sweaters, I picked up at the good will on 1/2 price day of course.  I wanted to make some for my house and then I realized every time I make a cute something my Lil sis comes over and well you know that story.  So I made a whole patch of pumpkins so I could give her some for her birthday.  These were super easy. ( or I wouldn't be doing them)  Also very inexpensive and fun.

I made these for Lil sis and mom bought her the cat/pumpkin figurine.

 These are additional pumpkins I have displayed as you com into my shop.

 These will go upstairs in the dining room.  I want to make a few more for gifties.  Should I do a give away?  Let me know!

     You know Monday when we came home and the basement started to flood?  Well I actually made all of these that night in less than an hour.  It was a little de-stress project.  I just needed to create and unwind after my hectic afternoon.  Creating helps me feel better.  Now I know I can create chaos by just being in a room, but this was happy chaos.

     Mom continues on her path of destruction.  When she was doing her chores yesterday she dropped the crystal cake serving top and broke it.  Then she came down stairs spilled an entire soda on her heavy chenille bedspread, AGAIN.  That spread spends more time out drying on the fence than it does in her room.  Mom put the spread into the washer and I went in to throw something else in the washer as it was filling and found her TV remote in the wash.  Lil sis had come over to pick up a set of keys on her lunch hour.  I was telling her about mom and mom stands there like a wounded basset hound and puts her arms out to Lil sis and says," I want a hug'.  Lil sis banished her to the garage with the other animals.  She said that was her third strike today.  Mom laughs and laughs and tells everyone she was banished.

     I did not get any cleaning done yesterday, but did get almost all my sewing that was piled up done.  I have a few things that I have to do today, but will spend the majority of my time on my poor house.

So here is my Monday money saving madness 5 days late:

1. Used Joanns coupons for all my sewing supplies
2. Used up 3 spools of thread that had been given to me in stead of buying
3. Made a huge pot of homemade chicken and noodles, enough to take in a meal to a sick family and feed us and my sewing helpers for two days.
4.Attended a food storage shower, with out buying a thing.  I just filled a large shopping bag with free peas, lentil, garbanzos, and then hit my Sluggy cupboard (yes I have a sluggy cupboard and you should to).  Added two male deodorants, two female deodorants, male and female shave cream, razors, and two different kinds of shampoos and rinses, topped it off with soap.  Bride was thrilled.
5. Did not eat out at all last week.
6.  Went to good will on 1/2 price day to pick up sweaters for my craft project.
7. Canned 26 quarts of peaches and two more quarts of tomatoes.
8. Used coupons and bought only loss leaders at the grocery store.
9. found two lovey rib eyes with 50% off coupons, yum!
10.Culled out several old cotton blouses and a couple pairs of shorts out of my wardrobe,  Yes clutter does not save you money.

Well I had better get busy I want to get my house clean for the first time in 6 weeks.

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative!


Thursday, September 7, 2017

Thursday/Wednesday, still backward...

     Things calmed down a little yesterday, except for the smoke in the air which is much worse.  Mom and I knocked out 9 loaves of banana bread.  I had so many frozen bananas in the upstairs freezer that had to go.  So mom started and I supervised.  ( this means I did most of the work)  But she was happy and that counts for something.

     I sewed hard most of the day with two bridal appointments.  Finished a wedding dress and also have to finish one today.  I have a pile of levis to hem and a few other piles on the must do list.  Every night I work on the endroi  embroidery on the custom dress.  I am trying to get at least one room clean a day also.  Mom's bath was really scrubbed and cleaned Tuesday night late.  Yesterday I finished the floors in the shop and hall and laundry room.  They are all really clean now thanks to the flood.  Hey you have to see the silver lining in some things.

     Mom actually in her day had a great sense of humor.   Wednesday morning when I got up and was blogging I opened her bedroom door and hollered, "Get up and get a job".  Then I slammed her door.  I could hear her laughing.  Then she was in her bathroom and I was sewing.  I hear her ask me to get her something personal.  So I go in and start throwing (personal items over my shoulder as fast as possible)  Several hit her but they were like cotton ball soft and they were all over the floor.   I then said, "Are you happy now?"  She starts to laugh.  This morning, I made her breakfast and then I left her upstairs with some chicken to take off the bone and told her she could not come downstairs until her chores were done.  Dish washer emptied, dishes loaded, chicken salad made, were in her list of chores.  She has come to the top of the stairs to ask if she can come down and I ask her if her chores are done.  Since they aren't she has to stay upstairs.  I'm loving this.  Now she will go tell Lil sis that I abused her.  But she will love to tell the story and get a good laugh at herself.  This is the mom I remember.

     Today I will try and get my family room cleaned.  There are wedding beads and fluff all over, and it needs a good scrub and vacuum. Also some laundry done and maybe a little ironing.  But first I need to clean myself up as in dry hair, set hair and makeup.  Then hit the shop and after I get my quota done for the day I will clean what I can.

     Stay tuned tomorrow is Saving madness five days late and pictures of my latest crafty I made for my Lil sis on her birthday.

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.


Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Wednesday/Tuesday/Monday? backward week anyone?

     Hmmm... Let me see.  Where do I begin?

     I sewed like a mad woman All day Friday working on a custom made wedding dress.  Hub's and mom and I were going up to Spokane this weekend to spend time with D#2 and family.  We planned to ride the Hiawatha trail on Saturday and just mess around for the three day weekend.  I also had a wedding shower in Moscow that evening.  So I sewed until about 5 and then ran and did banking.  I showered packed and few things, packed for mother and we were off. I left my shop a big disaster with dress parts and beads and interfacing, boning, lace and satin all over.

     We were late getting to the shower, but it was nice and then we popped back in to car for the 1.5 hour ride daughters.  Arrived late, and when we got up the next morning, the baby was sick.  He had an ear infection, so getting to the trail was not going to happen.  After getting meds and taking care of Sweet Will we decided to go on a different ride.  There is so much smoke in the air and we headed to Bowl and Picture.  Well we started on the wrong end of the trail, all hills and I think I almost died.  I am sure I left part of my soul on one of those hills.  Too much smoke in my already scarred lungs and did I mention it was 96 degrees?  Hub's was a butt as he has to be constantly entertained and plans did not go his way. Like I  can control baby illness, the weather, and the fire season.  It is all my fault.  Yes I will take the burden.  Mom by the way, other than slow, was lovely.

     We came home earlier than expected as Hub's was in charge of  a church picnic at 3.  When I hit the shop door I was blown away by the mess I had left.  My shop was a snow ball from hell.  So the first thing I did and I don't know why was to drop the luggage and start picking up pieces of the floor and putting things away.  All the dress things went onto a big table.  I also started a load of laundry while I was cleaning.  I swear there are 8 wedding dresses in the shop right now with the custom strung from hell to breakfast. Hub's was unloading the car and I needed to go to the store to buy some fresh mozzarella.  When I went to x-fer laundry over I found the wash machine backing up.  Crap!

     Hollered for hub's and he came as water was pouring out from under the machine.  I went back into shop and water was pouring out under wall and flooding shop.  Now real panic set in, and I realized the water was from outside.  All wedding dresses that were hanging inches from the floor were pulled up and I took off for the back yard.  Neither Hub's nor I had been back there and the pond had a running hose in it.  I suspected Hub's had forgotten and then realized the plants had just been watered.  Could Lil sis have been there before we came home?  At that point it didn't matter whose fault it was we had a flooded basement on our hands and it needed help.

     So out came the drain hoses and and Hub's and I sucked enough water out of the pond to stop the over flow, but we still had to deal with the continued overly watered soil that was pumping water into the basement.  We got out the large wet vac pulled up the sopping 5x7 rugs and move every thing to higher ground.  What a mess.  We pulled at least 8 large loads of water out.  Then he left and I ran to the store so I could throw together a plate of beach bread and we went to picnic.   On the way to the picnic the clutch went out in my car.   It was so hot and smokey.  Then home to continue to suck water up that was still seeping. I drove home with emergency brake and prayer.  BANG HEAD HERE! This is where I start to compartmentalize my bad luck.  It is a survival tactic.

     I still needed to get a craft project made for my Lil sis's birthday.  I worked on that into the evening and then I beaded some on wedding bodice. I could not sleep with the smoke and my nerves were a frazzle.

     I was just so grateful that we had come home early and that for some reason and I don't know why I was inspired to start cleaning up the shop floor.  Nothing was damaged and all though it was a lot of work and stress it could have been so much worse.  I said many prayers of thanksgiving.

Tuesday:  Booking on three hours of sleep I was up to start putting the basement back together.  Rugs were dry, furniture moved, floors scrubbed and laundry caught up and you should now see the ironing pile.  It is growling and grumbling  in the corner of the shop. I basically ran all day.

     I had left the house a wreck and my kitchen needed love, there was unpacking to do and there are still clean  clothes all over one of the beds. Hub's and I ran out and paid, the phone, power, paper, water, and other bills.  Then I decided to just buy a small German chocolate cake.  After  three stores I thought,this is stupid, go home and make one.  You can clean the kitchen in the time it takes you to bake it.  So that is what I did.  Kitchen, back deck,and dining room got a good scrubbing. I set up the dining room with cake and wrapped all of Lil sis's presents.  It looked nice and festive.

     I was so tired actually exhausted, too little sleep, too much work, excitement ( the wrong kind), and now worry about the car bill.  We went out to dinner, and I made mom pay as she can afford it.  Food was very good and then home for cake and ice cream and gifties.

     Lil sis loved her gifts.  New towels, pillows, novelties.  I also made her a Fall craft for her house.  She was thrilled.  Sis and I drove over to her house to pick up moms car as mine is going to the shop.  Sis and I had a long talk, and I think we agreed to dis agree but in a peaceful way.

     I have  so much more to write about but this novel has gone on long enough.  Stay tuned more fun and excitement tomorrow.

Have a great and productive day, staying positive while you are in the negative.


Friday, September 1, 2017

Thursday/Friday, melting down

  Thursday:     I was at the computer last night and I was so hot or having a got flash the next thing I knew I was in me underwears.  Me clothes were all over the room.  Just too hot and it was 11:00 at night. Now I love the heat but I had just had it with sweat and dripping.

     My next melt down was the shop which is too busy.  I know, I know, work is a blessing.  But everything is such a mess and I don't have time to stop and clean and reorganize.  I am exhausted.

     My last meltdown is mother.  When we realized her keys were missing and her car was about to be towed, we took care of that problem.  But then she obsessed all day about how Lil sis had taken them.  Every story was different and got more nasty as the days went on.  Lil sis and I tore all the cars and rooms apart  in two houses and no keys.  Then lil sis got on her about her stories and basically lies she tells each of us about the other.  Lil sis and I are starting to share all information know matter how cruel.   Mom can and is often cruel especially when she doesn't get her way.  We had an argument and mom and Lil sis were yelling, I try not to yell or get into the mess as I think is does no good.  But this time I really lit into mom.  I felt bad but I try so hard and she is just plain mean.

     Maybe at this stage of the game she cannot or does not know what truthful is, I know she is falling into memory loss and she is afraid to admit it.  She is so afraid we will take over money.  Believe me she doesn't have much left it has almost all one to the boys.This all has to do with her precious money.  I am tired of taking such loving care of her and being insulting and abused.  She is cheap and selfish.  I don't know how much more I can take.

     After Lil sis and I had our row with her, I took her to get groceries with me.  I did not fight or insult her.  We just rode in silence.   On our way out of the grocer we were both pushing carts.  I was ahead of her and did not watch to see if she was following me.  She had a cart to lean on and I was not worried.  When I turned around she had froze at the grocer door.  I hollered at her and she did not respond.  Well she is deaf as a post and refuses hearing aids as they would cost money and  oh let's see ,make my life easier.  So I went to get her and I realized she could not see.  It was dark and she is now totally blind in the dark.  Then I felt bad.

     Upon getting into the car she said she had to go to the bathroom and was wet.  I asked her if I could put papers and plastic under her ( yes I had these things in the car).  She said it wasn't that bad.  When we got home she was soaked, the car seat covers was soaked through and the seat was soaked.  I was so mad.  I pulled off the seat cover to wash but the seat was also soaked and smelly.  So I sprayed it with urine out spray and scrubbed it.  Now the seat has a demarcation line.  I have always kept these seats covered so when we sell the car it will be in good condition.  I am going to take the car to have it professionally cleaned.  I will make her pay for it.  I have been trying to get her to wear depends as she has had 4 accidents this week.  But she refuses.  Why make things easier for me?

 Friday:     I am busy making a custom made wedding dress for one of my favorite dance students.  It will be beautiful.

     I had to help mom make an almond cake and home made noodles for home made chicken soup today on top of everything else I have to do.  She wanted to take it to a friend who has been really sick.  She was so sweet today but then she did need me to so something for her.  I think I ran 5 miles up and down the stairs today trying to cook and sew at the same time.

I love my life.....  I love my mother.  I can still say that:)

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.