Thursday, May 28, 2015

Thursday, how to get rid of the blues....

Leftovers again!  Okay so we had too much food!

     Recipe for getting rid of the blues.

Pick up one fat 5 month old baby.  The fatter the better.
Bounce baby and play peek a boo
Do this for 1/2 hour or for as long as the bay will play peek a boo.
Note:  baby will never tire.

Next hold very close one triple jointed , squirming little girl.  About 6-7 years of age will do.  It is better if her mother has just told her to leave you alone you are busy.  Because the child will quickly worm in for a hug and then hang between your knees. She will have soft hair that smells like jasmine and she will pour forth her unconditional excitement and love at seeing you.  Snuggle for about 1/2 hour while you should be doing something else.


This is a busy hectic day and it will spell how tomorrow goes.  I still have 7 hats to finish and a coat to alter for show.  I also have a pile of things for the shop.  Right now mom is getting ready to go with me to wal-mart for last minute things.  I need to make a list.  I did not get bills paid last night but I did print out all that I needed to get it done.  Avoidance is my friend.

    House keeper came yesterday and house looks good.  I must dust and vacuum the family room. All bedrooms will be full after Saturday night as company is coming for the show.  Hub's and I will sleep on cots and our room and bath will go to older relatives.  Our renter is going to her father's for the night so her room and bath can go to the other couple.  Hub's and I can share mom's bathroom.  Normally these people would stay with my cousin and wife but with the miscarriage it is just not good timing.  Mom is making a desert for after the show and we will get up and have a big breakfast then off we go.

Flats to move this afternoon and flooring and set pieces.  Everything needs to be set tonight to make tomorrow easy.  Blah  Like tomorrow will be easy...... Just keep believing that kim, just keep believing

Have a great and productive day!


Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Wednesday, must pay bills!

     Dinner was leftovers, again, but I think we are about through with those.  Tonight is is every man for himself I think...

     I sewed and was interrupted all day until late last night on two sets of army dress blues.  I swear I will never get them done.  I will press them this morning.  Then I have other sewing that I have to get done and pay some bills.  Still have a coat to alter and some hats to finish.  I will be so glad when this is over!  I really do not want to do this again.  To hell with the debt.  I will eat it and go on.   That is how I feel, hope I can get my inspiration back.

     Hub's cousin who is playing Mr. Banks came into rehearsal last night a little late and told us his wife had miscarried again.  So sad.  I had nightmares all night about losing babies.  Maybe that is why my mood is so rotten this morning.

     I had better get busy.  I have so much to do and not enough time to do it in.  Plus I need to get myself out of this funk.  Maybe seeing my list go down will help.  If I pay the bills it may help!

Have a great and productive day!


Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Tuesday, slowly getting there

     We are going to be eating left overs for a while.  But they are good so no complaints.

     I am down to a few hats that need to be made for the show.  Also a few props are left.  I should say I need to make at least 14 more hats, but they go together fast, so a couple more hours.  The shop however is really full and I am not taking in any new work that has to be done in the next two weeks unless it is very easy and fast.

     Mom and I had a  very nice day yesterday even though I was busy.  I did have her out for about 2.5 hours on her feet.  It is important that she get out and walk and be forced to stand on her feet.  It is easy at her age and with her problems to just sit and then they get weaker and weaker. She seemed to have a better night last night.  I bought some quinine water and had her drink some also a little Gatorade.  An anonymous blogger suggested an electrolyte imbalance for her leg cramps and light headedness.  So I am giving it a try.  Thanks for the tip.

    We are 5 days out from show time and I am trying to care.  It is always like this however.  You live and breath and idea and by the time it arrives you are so tired it is hard to have the energy to be excited.  It will come, it always does.

     We are talking more and more about her living here and then traveling to see the other girls.  She has enough money to do that and she can also go back to Missoula and stay in a hotel for a week or two to see others.  One of us will have to accompany her but she has the funds to do that.  This is a problem that will be addressed in July.

     I need to pay bills today or sometime tonight.  Also have a 4 hour rehearsal this evening.

Out My window:  Beautiful weather, I need to plant a few things I picked up on sale at Walmart.  I want to get the flower boxes done before I leave for Twin Falls.

Have a great and productive day!


Monday, May 25, 2015

Monday, Happy Memorial Day!

     Here is an update of Kim's life.

Friday:  drove 10 hours round trip to pick up mom.  She is very week.  Talked to two neighbors both say she needs to sell and move.  They are sad but it is time.  Her house looked great.  Clean and everything we had done looked so ice.  The flowers were beautiful and not dead.  I went to Bill on the Hill ( a story for another time).  He is to water and watch the house.  If he sees a light on he is to go check if they don't answer the door he is to call 911.  He has already reported and my nephew was in house picking up Birthday presents for his little girl that mom had left.   That is okay but other brother sneaking in is not okay.  Of course Mom was mad about this as she does not want the house watched.  This is my life now.

Saturday:  daughter down from Spokane to move and help with a girlfriends wedding.  We spent about 2 hours shopping with grandma and it was fun.  Then home to take hub's out and buy groceries for memorial day Sunday dinner.  Also bought hub's 5 pairs of new pants.  They were on sale at Eddie Bauer for $8 to $11 a pair.  It was a stock up.  He has lost 15 lbs and I can take them in as he loses more.  I am proud of him.

Sunday:  Church, home to meet a bride and get a mock up of her bridesmaids dresses done.  She had about three ideas from the Internet and we put them all together.  So now I know what to do, the wedding is in August.  I normally don't work on the Sabbath but this was an ox in the mire situation with the bride from out of town.  Then we had a barbecue the food was all delicious.  I picked all of mom's rhubarb and made strawberry rhubarb pie.  Mom made potato salad.   We had corn and watermelon, burgers and brats.We had nephew and family over and the older couple we kind of take care of. I helped my nephew and his wife finish up some costumes they were in charge of but their machine broke.

Monday:  I am really tired and really behind on my sewing both for the show and the shop.  It will be fine I will get it together.  Mom is a lot of work and I forget how much time she needs.  She sat down on the porch by the pond when we were at church and then could not get up.  When we got home a neighbor was at the house and he had come over to help her.  Thank goodness for great neighbors.  She is in  pan this morning with her legs.  Severe Charley horses last night.  Moaned and groaned all night long.  She is also a little grouchy. Fun with mother, but I would rather have her here than anywhere else.

Have a great and productive day!


Thursday, May 21, 2015

Thursday, meeting the quota

No spend.  Porkchops, salad for dinner.  Salad from the garden! Green beans from the storage.  Have no idea what we will have tonight.  Don't care either.

     Was able to get Mary and Bert's costume done yesterday.  They looked great.  I also was very frustrated with the money situation at the studio and finally figured out when I had three phone calls from parents who really never pay late that they had left the checks the end of April.  I was able to deduce last night that all of these late payments had to have been picked up on a Wednesday.  Sure enough this was a day I was driving frantically to Mother's.  Could I have pulled them from the box and left them some where?  Were they in my purse and my brother got access to them?  He could have done nothing with them but make my life harder by taking them and tossing them.  I was just at a stand still.

     So when I came home from the studio I was really frustrated with a parent and started to clean.  I clean when I am angry.  I organized my desk area as I have to pay bills anyway.  There right in plain sight was a stack of checks.  They were not on the desk but up in the window sill.  I had to have put them there before I left for mothers.  Now I am the idiot and I have to call everyone and apologize.  I still have people owing but it is a lot less.  I feel so relieved.  Was not sure how to proceed with the bills.

     After I found the checks and called everyone, I had to get my daily shop quota done.  My ballet Mistress does not understand this.  Why I insist on doing shop work when I have so many other show things to do.  Well first of all it pays the bills, the studio doesn't and if I don't do a certain amount a day I will get so behind.  My reputation is based on production.

     I have a so many errand's to run today that will take me out of the shop and that is a frustration.  I might be able to send Ballet M for some of them. I also have a girl friend coming to help me with costumes so that is a blessing.

     Gotta go I have a quota to meet!

Have a great and productive day.


Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Wednesday, I am a creative slob.

$106.13 soda, cheese, lunch meat, cereal, flour,medicine,hair dye,marked down flowers.  Dinner left over chicken legs, salad.  Tonight pork chops that were marked down.

     You know that shop I stopped and cleaned up well it is a disaster!  We have a photo shoot tonight and I created the Jolly Holiday Dress for Mary last night.  The shop took a hit.  When I create I throw and get really sloppy.  Now I have to finish this morning and get Burt's coat done.  I also have sewing for the shop to do.  But I can hardly kick through the place so I will have to clean again.  Dang.  I can't stand the chaos.

     I know I could be neater , it is just that neatness slows me down.  I have never figured out if it actually saves time to be neater.  I know it does in general house work.  Guess I need to study that.  Not today!  I am creating today.  Leave me alone and if you need me I am under a pile of scraps somewhere....

Have a great and productive day!


Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Tuesday, time to catch up

No spend, Chicken legs and salad for dinner.  I made 4 huge loaves of bread.  Cleaned out the fridge, it was disgusting.  I must get to the grocery store sometime today.  I need to clean out both freezers and take an inventory, but doubt I have time for a while.  We can start picking lettuce for salads from the garden so I will not buy any more greens for a few months.

     The shop was crazy busy yesterday, and so far this morning looks like the same status.  So I really must get busy.  They want a photo shot of Mary and Bert Wednesday and I need to finish their costumes.  No pressure.  But I have a lot to do.

     Because I was feeling so emotionally overwhelmed on Friday, I thought about what I could do to make myself feel better and more in sync.  I want a good productive week, there is plenty of time to get everything done but I need to use my time wisely.  So yesterday I did not sew, I cleaned up the shop really well, did the laundry and went through the bedrooms and the kitchen. I made bread and ground a bunch of wheat for future baking.  I really cleaned out the fridge which was so gross.  Now I feel like my routine is back to normal,  Get up feed the chickens, make the bed(s) figure dinner, know what is happening in the house and then attack the shop.  Running right to the shop and letting everything else slide was bugging me.  Sometimes you have to do that, but after a month I just felt out of my element.
     The new housekeeper, did a great job, but the house was so behind she was not able to finish and will start with one room at a time.  A general clean of the upstairs and a deep clean of one room.  It looked so much better.  It is the day to day stuff that I was letting slide.

     Hub's took a long walk while I was teaching last night and then I shamed him into planting some onions.  When I am out on errands today I am going to get some seed potatoes for him and more corn. He has to hula hoe the garden and plant the potatoes, onions and corn.  I will have to stay on him.

     Well I have curtains and bridesmaid dresses, and army uniforms, mending, pants to hem.  It is never ending. My machine is calling.

Have a a great and productive day!


Monday, May 18, 2015

Monday, crazy weekend

     Now I sound like Mc Val, but it was a crazy busy weekend.  Too much going on and I could have added more. 

     Friday I went out to lunch with the board President and he talked me off the ledge.  He is full of great ideas to help stem this problem next year. Just good to bounce idea's off another person and also complain and someone listens who cares.  Very cheap therapy and he paid for lunch.  By the way thank you Dave.

     After lunch I should have gone home and finished the costume I screwed up but I went to Home Depot instead. I was going to check there mark down plants, the vendors were busy pulling plants and replacing them with new plants.  Now it is not Hope Depot that marks the plants down at there place but the vendors.  I asked one of the vendors what they were going to do with the beautiful huge $8.98 geraniums they were pulling.  She said marking them down to $1.50.  So I bought all they had as they are my favorite  potting flower.  I also picked up other things marked down.  I had a gift card and only spent $6.45.  then I went to Shopko and bought a flat of marigolds.  It poured rain the rest of the day, but by the evening I was able to get out and plant several things in the garden.  Then I went in a did as much work as I could on a costume.

     Saturday was an all day rehearsal.  The first two acts were a little grueling.  Too many little ones and not enough help.  Ballet Mistress on a role.  She is very OCD about things.  Needs to learn a little control.  She was also verbally very rude to me.  I can take it, but not good for the students.  However me jumping into the fray in front of them is not good either so this is an issue for another day.  I don't think she realizes that she is rude not having the best sense of the social cues, but she needs a little work.  This said just say I made it through the day.

      By 2:30 things were winding down and I had three dancers to get ready for a memorial service we were dancing at.  I got them into costume ,wigs, makeup and then loaded them all into the car.  I changed into spring funeral suit and cleaned up at the studio.  We made the dash over to the hotel where the memorial was being held.  It was packed!  Old Irish Senators family.  The girls were of course darling and they danced very well and were their charming selves.  The food was awful.  I had to stop after a bite of several items.  They paid per plate for this garbage.  I shudder.

     We were invited to a Wine, Stein and Dine benefit and would have loved to have gone, but hub's was out with the scouts and I had to come home and change for a Wedding reception.  I was also very tired.  Hubs was home by 7:30 and he had to speak in another ward on Sunday so needed to finish his talk.  We also were expected at a service project at 1 in the afternoon in Orofino.  We were to bring something for potluck and hand tools and something to plant. So here we are at 8:00 trying to decide what to bring.  I am way to tired to cook anything.  We bought two very awful looking cakes at Albertsons and a few more marigolds.

     Sunday was up dress, church.  Hubs did very well then home , change clothes into grubbies and drive to Orofino.  We had a potluck and worked until 5:30.  This is an office mate of Hub's that has jaw cancer and is in treatment in Arizona.  He has a huge place, 20 acres.  I think there was were about 30 adults there and plenty of lawnmowers and trimmers.  The place was very spiffy when we left.  I weeded for about 4.5 hours and my hands were very sore.  Hubs drug branches and slash burned.  Now the office must rotate days to go and set the water and and turn it off until this man comes home in July.  Major work.  We will go out again in June.  It takes a village.

     Home again exhausted.  Needed to bake bread again and do laundry.  Hub's had quartet practice.  He went and I took a short nap and read a novel.  No bread and no laundry.......Okay so I am a slacker.

    I decided this morning to clean up the fridge and do laundry.  I will do a run through of the house then hit the shop. Need to do some banking.  The phone has rung off the hook since 9 and the shop has already had 5 people in it.  I just need to breath and do what I can.  I can do a lot.  Say this over and over again.

Out My Window:  It was very rainy and cooler this weekend with some sun.  We need the moisture so I am not complaining.  I am slowly a little bit at a time getting the garden and boxes done.  I told hubs he must plant the onions, potatoes and corn.  I will finish up the back off and on over the next month.

Have a great and productive day!


Friday, May 15, 2015

Friday, making mistakes

$47.12, cereal, sugar free ice cream bars (hub's) soda, cottage cheese, tortillas.  I have no idea what hub's ate last night.  I am a bad wife.  I know he called me and asked for the sugar free Klondike bars.

     I have been sewing too much.  I come home at night and sew on costumes.  I could feel that last night I needed to just relax and I ignored myself and did a costume all wrong and now must tear it apart.  This is what I get for not listening to my inner voice.  This is the same voice that says,"eat chocolate."

     I am frustrated beyond measure with the studio right now.  I have almost $3000.00 in tuition and costumes that has not been paid.  It is always the same people or the newbies.   I cannot pay the rent, I have not paid the utilities, for last month.  I am holding a check for almost $500.00 and have been since February.  I had to put $300.00 of my own money into the account to get payroll done.  I did not get any money yet for sewing any of these costumes.  So I wrote a note on the white board about needing to pay the rent.  I received one check took it right to the bank and it would not clear. I am going to get Dave (board President) to draft a letter.  Or at least sign my letter to these parents.  I love my students and they make all the frustration worth while, but I would like to string up some of the parents.

     What a negative post this is turning into.  On a good note I did receive an unexpected check in the mail from an old debt, so I will be putting that on the car, just look at my snowflake board!  That makes me feel a little less agitated about money.  Or maybe have more faith in the world.

     Out My Window:  Something is wrong because I don't even want to go outside and plant anything.  Usually I am anxious to get out in the dirt and I don't even care right now.  Need to get my mojo back....

Have a great and productive day!


Thursday, May 14, 2015

Thursday, What day is it?

No spend, Bacon lettuce and tomato sandwiches for dinner with salad.  I reorganized the food storage down stairs.  I don't know why in such a busy day I had time to do this.  But I am some what OCD when it comes to tasks.  I am sure you have not noticed this trait.;)  We really are getting the food down and that is so nice.

     I did not get any sewing done for the shop yesterday, but I did finish the little fox hunter costumes and they are adorable.  Red tail coats with black collars and gold buttons, beige jodper pants, top hats with red ribbons and a feather, just adorable I tell you.  I also cut out the pattern for the mother in Mary Poppins.  I plan on getting her done today.  Just counting down the costumes.

     There is sewing I have to do for the shop today.  I have three bridesmaid dresses and at least 9 pairs of pants before I can start on costumes.  The good light over my sewing table has decided to go bonkers and it needs new bulbs.  I cannot replace them.  Dang!  I hope my Ott lite is enough or I guess I can move my machine. Hubby can replace them when he gets home.

     My house payment is due tomorrow and I have been trying so hard to get enough money to pay that.  I do have savings but I did not want to touch that.  The dance studio is so behind in money right now because of costume charges.  I can't even write or talk about it as I frustrates me so.  I have to get down there this morning and take care of a few things.  I have not paid the rent at the studio or the studio phone, utilities for last month or this month just no funds yet.  I swear there are days I would just give up if it wasn't for my students.

     Our youngest called and she received  94% on her immunology final, she was so excited.  That is always a lift when your kids are excited. 

     I had better get my butt in gear.  (Thought:  what if we had gears in our butts?)

So my questions are?

Sluggy have you cleaned off that bed yet?
Sarah snuck (not a word) in any more payments when I was not looking?
Gill knitted any more hats?
Sew not my Day are those dresses hemmed or are you eating cake with your husband?
Jane are you off the couch?  Roll over and see if your butt gears are working because mine are.
Sis, can you see yet?

Have a great and productive day!




Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Wednesday, 48 phone calls!

  No spend, took out chicken cordon blue I had purchased on a good sale and cooked it for dinner with a salad.  It was awful.  Dry tasteless.  Not like the kind I make fresh that is for sure.  But one had to try.
I did finally get bread made yesterday.

     I had 48 phone calls yesterday from 7 in the morning until about 5:00.  I about went nuts.  Now a couple of those were from family double checking on mom.  But all the rest were business.  The shop was crazy busy.  I keep trying to catch up and it is useless.  I did not go into the studio yesterday just so I could get some costuming done.  Worked until about 9:30 last night and went to bed so over tired. 

     Took in 5 more bridesmaid dresses and about 10 pairs of pants.  I am about to give up trying to catch up as I think I get busier.  I did get a start on the 4 little fox hunter costumes and plan to get those done today.  The pants are finished except for the elastic that needs to be sewn.  Then I have to do the jackets.  I have the collars done and the tails, I just have to turn and press them. I like to do multiples in pieces as it saves time.  My ballet Mistress has all the chimney sweep hats cut out.

     Hub's and I spent the morning in Craigmont, Idaho at a retirement meeting.  He stayed for a fire school revamp.  Even though he does not fight fire any more he still has to be certified as a camp boss and will continue to do this until he is no longer able, even after he retires.  It is an emergency measure by the Governor.  So often our certified people end up in California, or Arizona and then Idaho is short of trained personnel. I drove home and he will catch a ride with someone else.  Learned a lot about retirement.  I think we will be okay.  He can convert all of his sick leave into money to pay for his medicare supplement.  Maybe for as much as two years.  He rarely uses his sick leave. 

     He went to his Neurology appointment yesterday and just as he pulled into the parking lot he got a phone call saying the Neurologist had been called out on an emergency.  So they rescheduled.  He then went to his regular doctor and he has lost 12 lbs.  His blood pressure was down to 112/ over something.  Which as far as I am concerned is too low.  But what do I know?  I am a little frustrated about putting off the neurology appointment as he has several markers for Parkinson's.  It is scary and I want to know.  I feel like I am sitting on a time bomb not knowing.  I keep watching him like he is going to blowup.

     I did not take my cell phone with me this morning and I only had 8 phone calls when I got home at 12:30 so this day is going a little better.  I don't need to be at the studio until 5.

     I have a new housekeeper staring today.  She will come every other week for 4 hours and do the bathrooms, and the floors, dusting and wipe down of the main floor.  I had a young girl for the last few months.  But she has done such a poor job.  I know it takes at least 4 hours to keep up my upstairs the way I want it done.  You have to move the furniture and take up all the rugs.  There are 17 throw rugs in 8 rooms all hardwood floor's.  We have animal's that shed like crazy.  The only thing that is not moved is the baby grand piano and you have to clean under it.  This girl would stay 2 hours and  do a terrible job.  I left her detailed lists, but she just did not get it.  I don't think I am that picky.  When I am paying someone $20.00 and hour I want it done right.  I would do this myself but I do not have the time and my hands lock up when I scrub

Out My Window:  It poured rain last night, and we really need the rain so that is good.  But I am freezing and have been all day.  I think I will have to turn the heat back on.  I think it is supposed to stay rainy the rest of the week.

     How many phoe calls did you get yesterday?

Have a great and productive day!


Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Tuesday, chugging along

No spend, Hubs had leftovers.  Chicken with salad tonight.  He is taking the last large salmon out of the downstairs freezer for this weekend's Scout camp out and that should about empty it except for fruit for pies.  I will transfer that upstairs and put frozen milk cartons in so the freezer does not have to work so hard.  We are getting the pantry down.

     Just called and checked on mom.  My younger brother's wife has been over the last two mornings on her rounds so that makes me feel better.  The house keeper will be there today.  Part of my daily chores now.  How is mom doing?

     I just realized yesterday what day it actually was and  the house payment is due on Friday so I need to get my butt in gear.  Gee I need at least $500.00.  I can just pull that out of the air.  Sometimes I amaze myself. But is is always with my stupidity.

  I sewed yesterday and was able to complete a wedding dress alteration, shorten 6 skirts, replace a zipper in a pair of pants, and alter 2 pairs of men's trousers.  The shop was very busy with 5 bridesmaid dresses, and several pairs of pants and skirts coming in, so I am blessed with work.  I was able to get my quota done before I went to the studio at 6:30 so I came home and was able to complete another costume.   My goal is to have all major costume sewing done by Friday, that way I can concentrate on things we forgot.

     I have a huge pile of things to kick through and want to get my little jockey/fox hunter costumes done tonight.  There are four of them.  I still have the Mother's costume, and Mary's Holiday dress, Micheal's costumes and things for Bert.  I just need to tick them off.  My ballet mistress keeps me on schedule. You think I am a working machine, she makes me look normal.  A real task master.

     The house is so dirty I am ashamed.  One of the cats got sick on the marble fireplace in the front room.  Lovely at least it wasn't on the area rug.  The dust is thick and the kitchen floor is down right scary.  I might have to stop and do a little cleaning.  My housekeeper will come tomorrow so I don't want to be embarrassed.

     Hub's and I have a meeting tomorrow at 8 a.m. for his retirement go through.  It is in an office 40 miles away. We have to leave here at 7 a.m. Ugh!  You all know what an early riser I am.  I will be interested to see what I learn.  This is the first in many meetings with decisions we will have to make.  Exciting but also scary.

     Out My Window:  Chilly and overcast, which is fine it keeps me from wanting to go out in the yard.

Need to work on my story but have no time right now.  It is brewing in my head;)

Have a great and productive day.


Sunday, May 10, 2015

Sunday, Happy Mother's Day!

     Happy Mother's day to all of you out there, whether you are a mother or not you still have influence over the lives of those around you so happy, happy.

     We were able to get a permanent restraining order on my brother last Thursday and it was such a relief but so sad.  My younger sister and brother and myself went to court with my mother.  We were hoping yet not hoping that our other brother would show up.  If he showed we would certainly get the order because his ability to justify his awful behavior would have been a joke.  He is so violent and awful his sweet personality would certainly have showed through to the judge.  However there was an arrest warrant out for him so he would have been taken right to jail.  He is smarter than that.  But without him showing the judge could give us a continuance, which we did not want.  My younger sister helped my mom up to the benches in the court room and sat with mom along with the advocate she had been assigned by the court system.  My baby bro and I sat in the back.  The court room was full a people all seeking TOP'S of Temporary orders of protection.

     Mom was the first one called.  She is so tiny and frail.  Sis helped her up to the podium with her cane and then the advocate took over.  The judge read her statement and asked if my brother was there to rebuttal. He was not. Then she asked if mom wanted the order for a year or permanent.  Mom's voice was so quiet and she whispered permanent then started to sob.  It was so sad.  The advocate handed her a Kleenex and the judge was so kind and kept asking her is she was going to be all right?  Then she granted the permanent order.  Mom was helped to the back door by my sis and the advocate.  Bro and I got up, both sis and I had tears running down our faces and my baby bro eyes were swimming as he tried to hold it together.  The courtroom was hushed as we we slowly took mom out. Bro opened the court room door and as he did he turned and leaned back to reach for mom.  She stretched out her hand  to reach his and we huddled around her like so many baby chicks.  I thought instantly that I was so glad my twin was not present as she would have collapsed sobbing.  I know she would not have been able to witness this calmly.  How does one say, "I will never see my child again willingly."  How does one disown your own blood?  We have always been a very forgiving family. I love my brother.  I just do not love the person he has become.

     Sis and bro went to get the car and mom and I headed for the nearest exit.  When we arrived at the outer doors a young man stopped and opened the door for mom.  She said to him,"You had a good mother."  I told her bro had also had a good mother.  Bro would open the door for an elderly woman.  He loved animals.  He would give his last dollar to feed a hungry person.  He just abused his family.  She had done a good job raising him, he just chose to do the things he was doing.  It had to stop for her sake.  She is no longer able to mentally, physically or spiritually  able to support him.  He has to make it on his own.  He is 54 and has never had to do this.  Either he will make it or he won't.  She had a very hard night that night and she is still struggling.  She would not come back with me and is by herself with the help of neighbors.  Now that bro is gone people will come back.  She has a judge that lives next door that told us that if mom cold have 3 months of peace she thought  she would rally and have a few more good years. We will see.  My younger sister will pay all her bills and I am going to call her everyday.  We are going to keep much better tabs on her.

     I came home exhausted both physically and mentally.  Yesterday was an all day rehearsal that went well but I could hardly handle the pressure.  Thank goodness for my ballet mistress.  When I came home at 3:30 I went right to bed.  I had only had 2 hours of sleep and had driven 6 hours in the last 24 hours.  I slept for 5 hours.  I could have slept all night.  Hub's and I went to get a few groceries at 10 p.m. and then I went back to bed and slept until morning.  We went to church and I came home a took another nap.  I am feeling a little refreshed.  The next few weeks are going to be very hectic.   This mom thing has been so hard.  I know it is not over.  I just hope for a little peace and quiet.

     The shop is going to be very busy tomorrow.  I have many appointments already set up.  I also have a big pile of alterations to do before I start on costumes.

Hub's made me dinner tonight and it was very good.  I was not and still am not feeling very well and had a hard time eating.  I ate a little to make him feel good and the meal was delicious.  My innards are just a little off.  They will recover and my appetite will return.

     My oldest daughter sent me a gift card for Home Depot so I can buy some flowers.  My middle is getting me new sunglasses. The youngest has finals for the next two days and is going to come home and help me finish up the deck and plant my flower boxes.  No kids today but the quiet is nice.

     Out My Window:  It is getting warm and most of the flowering trees are spent.  Everything is out and green, green.  It is beautiful.  The chickens are getting huge. I can't wait to work in the yard again.

Have a happy Mother's day.  Sis call me in the morning! Can't wait to comment on the blogs again I feel like I have been gone forever.


Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Wednesday, Back I go....

$83.26 groceries in general.  made a roast with potatoes, carrots and onions yesterday which will last through today.  Then hub's is on his own until I get back this weekend.

     Really worked hard yesterday.  Trying to get laundry caught up, which I did, still have to put a basket of things away.  Was able to stock up on a few missing grocery items last night.  I did the pay roll for studio and have to make another deposit on my way out of town.   I am almost done with the jazz costumes, just have one more dress to complete which I will do this morning. 

     The shop was really busy yesterday.  I took in so much work for next week. I also had to get a mother of the bride dress hemmed the same day.  I have another birthday shirt for a lady that is due out tonight.  I won't be here for her to pick it up in a few days.  I do offer same day service when I am in town.  However I am out of town I think?  So I will complete those two items today and then shower and make sure the garden is watered.  Then I will take off again for the that long awful drive back to Missoula.

     Oh I almost forgot I have to go empty the truck at the dump and trade cars with Hub's in Orofino. Add that to the list.

     News on mom is that she is not taking the changes we want to make lightly and has been very hard on my younger sister.  This comes as no surprise to me.  I think younger sister is a little shocked as she has always been able to get mom around to her point of view.  Now she is getting the same treatment Sis and I have had for the last 35 years.  Mom is not a bad woman just very spoiled and as she ages her child like behavior is getting worse.  Good luck little sis.  Thanks to all the readers that gave advice, trust me I am trying to follow it.

     I am not looking forward to going back, but it needs to be done.  I must go to mom's court date which is tomorrow and then take my little sis and her daughter back to the airport in Spokane,  Then I get to race home to an all day dance rehearsal for Mary Poppins.  It never ends.  My life is full and exciting.  I keep telling myself that......

Out My Window:  Spring is glorious.  The wisteria are in full bloom against the back fence.

Have a great and productive day!


Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Tuesday, out of the loop

     Just got back from mom's.  It was a short hectic trip and I must return tomorrow as her court date is Thursday.  She is as weak as I have ever seen her and I don't know if it is due to her nerves or if she is just going down hill.  Both my younger sister and I and also my brother feel she should not live on her own.  My younger sister Kelly went to church with her and several people came up to her and said please do not let your mother live alone.  It is so hard.  She needs to sell that big house and she does not want to.

     The house is a mess.  Not the wreck it was  18 months ago, but the upstairs stinks again of cigarette smoke.  All of the bed linens that we replaced are gone or garbage.  She had both my brothers and wives or girlfriends and then the grand kids up to 6 of them living up there for 4-5 months.  None of these people will pick up a towel or clean anything.  Then she had the brother that we are trying to get put in prison up there in the back bedroom for most of a year.  These people have no regard for keeping her house nice.  My poor Sissie who finances the clean up is so frustrated.

     Moms downstairs is dirty.  I mean crumby dirty.  She cannot see well enough to see that she has wiped down or cleaned anything.  The cupboards and counters were just disgusting and crummy.  My Sister and I spent a good part of every day we were there cleaning and throwing away crap.  I mean dollar store crap that she hangs on the walls, which she cannot see anyway.  We cleaned and planted in the yard and are going to recover the furniture on the front porch for curb a peel.  We have not redid the porch cushions for about 8 years.  They are torn and old and faded.

     Mom will not throw anything away.  Her coffee pot broke and she was insisting on keeping it, she might be able to use parts of it.  We had to sneak it out back to throw it away.  It is almost like she has become a hoarder.  Not like the TV show, but she saves things that are foolish that the normal person would throw away.  Yet she does not have enough of the th9ings she really needs.  Her clothes do not fit as she has lost over 60 lbs.  I was able to get her into new things but she will not get rid of old things and she comes out in them looking like a bag lady. Everyday it is a challenge.  Then I think to myself?  I want her to live with me?  Am I nuts?  Well I would rather have her here where I have some control than over there being abused and neglected.

     My house is a pigsty, and I need to get many things done around here.  We are going into weekend rehearsals at the studio and those are grueling.  I was able to plant 1/2 the garden and I still need to do potatoes, onions, scallions, and a few more veggies.  The back deck is fixed, and I will need to touch up the paint.  I need to plant my own flower boxes, but will wait until later.  Actually plants will go down at the end of the month.  I can wait.  My main concentration after mom is the recital.

     So far today I have had 6 skirts, 5 pairs of pants, two bridesmaid dresses,a mother of the bride dress come in and it is not eve 11:00 so between recital costumes I should not starve to death.  I also have several brides scheduled for today!  Yikes!

So where do I begin?  Laundry? Bedrooms? sewing, dinner, bank deposit?  AGHHHHHHH.......splat.

Have a great and productive day.