Sunday, Happy Mother's Day!

     Happy Mother's day to all of you out there, whether you are a mother or not you still have influence over the lives of those around you so happy, happy.

     We were able to get a permanent restraining order on my brother last Thursday and it was such a relief but so sad.  My younger sister and brother and myself went to court with my mother.  We were hoping yet not hoping that our other brother would show up.  If he showed we would certainly get the order because his ability to justify his awful behavior would have been a joke.  He is so violent and awful his sweet personality would certainly have showed through to the judge.  However there was an arrest warrant out for him so he would have been taken right to jail.  He is smarter than that.  But without him showing the judge could give us a continuance, which we did not want.  My younger sister helped my mom up to the benches in the court room and sat with mom along with the advocate she had been assigned by the court system.  My baby bro and I sat in the back.  The court room was full a people all seeking TOP'S of Temporary orders of protection.

     Mom was the first one called.  She is so tiny and frail.  Sis helped her up to the podium with her cane and then the advocate took over.  The judge read her statement and asked if my brother was there to rebuttal. He was not. Then she asked if mom wanted the order for a year or permanent.  Mom's voice was so quiet and she whispered permanent then started to sob.  It was so sad.  The advocate handed her a Kleenex and the judge was so kind and kept asking her is she was going to be all right?  Then she granted the permanent order.  Mom was helped to the back door by my sis and the advocate.  Bro and I got up, both sis and I had tears running down our faces and my baby bro eyes were swimming as he tried to hold it together.  The courtroom was hushed as we we slowly took mom out. Bro opened the court room door and as he did he turned and leaned back to reach for mom.  She stretched out her hand  to reach his and we huddled around her like so many baby chicks.  I thought instantly that I was so glad my twin was not present as she would have collapsed sobbing.  I know she would not have been able to witness this calmly.  How does one say, "I will never see my child again willingly."  How does one disown your own blood?  We have always been a very forgiving family. I love my brother.  I just do not love the person he has become.

     Sis and bro went to get the car and mom and I headed for the nearest exit.  When we arrived at the outer doors a young man stopped and opened the door for mom.  She said to him,"You had a good mother."  I told her bro had also had a good mother.  Bro would open the door for an elderly woman.  He loved animals.  He would give his last dollar to feed a hungry person.  He just abused his family.  She had done a good job raising him, he just chose to do the things he was doing.  It had to stop for her sake.  She is no longer able to mentally, physically or spiritually  able to support him.  He has to make it on his own.  He is 54 and has never had to do this.  Either he will make it or he won't.  She had a very hard night that night and she is still struggling.  She would not come back with me and is by herself with the help of neighbors.  Now that bro is gone people will come back.  She has a judge that lives next door that told us that if mom cold have 3 months of peace she thought  she would rally and have a few more good years. We will see.  My younger sister will pay all her bills and I am going to call her everyday.  We are going to keep much better tabs on her.

     I came home exhausted both physically and mentally.  Yesterday was an all day rehearsal that went well but I could hardly handle the pressure.  Thank goodness for my ballet mistress.  When I came home at 3:30 I went right to bed.  I had only had 2 hours of sleep and had driven 6 hours in the last 24 hours.  I slept for 5 hours.  I could have slept all night.  Hub's and I went to get a few groceries at 10 p.m. and then I went back to bed and slept until morning.  We went to church and I came home a took another nap.  I am feeling a little refreshed.  The next few weeks are going to be very hectic.   This mom thing has been so hard.  I know it is not over.  I just hope for a little peace and quiet.

     The shop is going to be very busy tomorrow.  I have many appointments already set up.  I also have a big pile of alterations to do before I start on costumes.

Hub's made me dinner tonight and it was very good.  I was not and still am not feeling very well and had a hard time eating.  I ate a little to make him feel good and the meal was delicious.  My innards are just a little off.  They will recover and my appetite will return.

     My oldest daughter sent me a gift card for Home Depot so I can buy some flowers.  My middle is getting me new sunglasses. The youngest has finals for the next two days and is going to come home and help me finish up the deck and plant my flower boxes.  No kids today but the quiet is nice.

     Out My Window:  It is getting warm and most of the flowering trees are spent.  Everything is out and green, green.  It is beautiful.  The chickens are getting huge. I can't wait to work in the yard again.

Have a happy Mother's day.  Sis call me in the morning! Can't wait to comment on the blogs again I feel like I have been gone forever.

Kim