Wednesday, May 31, 2023

Wednesday, Let's get something done!


Okay I am trying.  No kids today, but the shop has had constant clients, so it is hard to stay focused.  The shop is really clean Sissie would be proud.

I have a wedding dress cut and ready for the machine.  My plan is to get it done and then get a few bridesmaid dresses done along with it.

Signe' is here taking a nap as she had a early morning and no patients until 3:00.

I will have the kids this evening for a while, and I want to go see if Home depot has the blinds in for the bedroom.

I got to talk to Sissie today and she always makes me feel better. Did not get to talk to her for as long as I wanted as clients kept popping in to interrupt.

Took missionaries out to eat last night as I did not want to cook, plus had kids all day and no time to plan or present.  I think they actually enjoyed it more.  Also took my best buddy.  Today is the first anniversary of her husband's death, so I have been thinking about her all day. Hoping she is okay. She went up to the Spokane Temple with another friend from church.  I thought that was a nice way for her to spend the day. Comforting to say the least.

My anniversary will be on Christmas day and I don't want it to be a sad day.  Not how I want to remember Joel.  He was so funny and had such a good sense of humor. 

I miss my Lil sis.  She has been gone now over two weeks and will not be back for at least another week. I am also taking care of my neighbors, animals.  She has the menagerie. Dogs, cats, chickens, ducks, a potbelly pig, a tortoise, and a large bird. I will go down and sit with the dogs for a while and give them love.  Also talk to the bird who is so funny.

I made a large box with towels and blankets in the garage for Kiki, so far, she won't get into it. But I guess I can move her kittens into it when she has them. If she has them.  But she is actually starting to waddle it is pretty funny to watch her.  Poor darling.

Well, I am off to get something done I swear.  I am so good at getting nothing done.


Tuesday, May 30, 2023

Tuesday, Home again!

 Kida bought a new toy for grammies back yard. You should have seen me setting this up. Many face plants and I was in a summer denim dress that made it all the funnier.

Lying in the Sun to dry off and then play again.  My house is a zoo, but I am hanging in there.

Had a good time at daughters.  Did not go up to sister in laws ranch as we would have had to stay in a hotel, and they were outrageous expensive and far away.

Long drive there and back but brought back my grandson James to play with William for a week as his other grandma took our oldest grandson with her to Denver. 

I am taking missionaries out to dinner tonight as trying to cook something with all these kids around is just not happening.

I am trying to get the shop cleaned today and get my mind on even keel. At least two wedding dresses if not three out this week.  I have had 5 phone calls for dresses coming in.  I told everyone to call at the end of the month and well it is the end of the month.

I am just having a lot of really sad moments this last week. Up all night one night with grief.  It has been 5 months and I just want some relief. But it is not to be. 

I need to water both my place and my brother in laws place tonight. I will be sewing this evening as trying to get anything done with three monkeys running in and out is impossible.


Wednesday, May 24, 2023

Wednesday, A little better


Nate brought the kids down late yesterday afternoon and that sure cheered me up. He put up a new shade in the family room for me.  I am trying to get rid of all those slated shades that have the long cords and are so hard to pull, plus dangerous for little ones.

It is so nice to just touch, and the shade moves.  This house as huge windows.  I still need to do the dining room and the master bedroom, but they only had one blackout shade for the master so I will wait until I can get two at the same time.

I am starting to wonder of being crazy busy, behind is better for me than having spare time or feeling that I have spare time, as I sure have been in the dumps. I guess this grief thing is a returning nightmare. Dang it anyway.

A picture of Kelsa always makes me smile.  Actually, Kelsa makes me smile.

I made myself sew yesterday but I kept having so many problems with the machine and me and mistakes.  I usually don't make mistakes.  SO frustrating.

Today I have little I have to do and couple of things. I bought three blueberry bushes to plant, but I think they might need cages.  So, I need to go buy some more chicken wire.

Thanks for all the well wishes, this is just so hard and hate it.  You have no idea how much I just want to feel normal.  I know it has to be a new normal.  I don't like myself, when I am in a pity party, and self-absorbed. Just not me.


Tuesday, May 23, 2023

Tuesday, Bluesday


I am having a hard day.  I just woke up and everything was normal, and then I realized I had to do this forever and I did not want to.

I don't want to pretend I am okay.  I don't want to read, or sew or play the piano. I want to run away from the pain and sorrow and I can't.

It is just so hard.


Monday, May 22, 2023

Monday, Short week


Yes, here we are again stating another week. The house is relatively clean, I think I have conquered the dust, and I am back in the shop.  I will only be here 4 days this week as Signe' and I are taking her two kids to see Jethelyn over Memorial Day weekend.  We are going to bring James back with us for a week.

I am looking forward to time with my girls.  Braunwyn was here yesterday for several hours to help me finish up the garden and clean out the upper shed.  I have a load to take to the dump and many things to either give away or sell.

I can't believe the tools Hubs has. The boys will need to go through them and decide what they want then I will store the rest. I won't use them, but it is nice to have in case they are needed.

We had a great rainstorm last evening and we so needed the moisture.  It was 100 yesterday afternoon and it was hard to work outside.  B and I kept coming in to cool off. I spent late afternoon floating in Lil sis's pool it was lovely. 

I have been scouring the dead and dying racks to fill in my long flower bed with perennials that the animals will not eat. 

The music piece I have been practising is played much slower than I thought it would be, so much easier to play.  There are so many three and 4 note chords.  It is hard for me with my arthrits to stretch to many of the chords so I am changing them slightly.  Just much easier and I am relieved. 

Took a friend of mine to the Temple on Saturday and we had such a nice day.  We then went shopping for a while and found her some really cute things. I can't wait to do something like this with her again.  It was a nice way to spend a Saturday away with just the two of us.

Sluggy must be off on her cruise, and I hope she can have fun without me.  But I should have been with her, I think. Who will she do carrot cake runs with at 10 o'clock at night? I know she will miss me.

I have 5 bridesmaid dresses to get done, and a pair of pants, a coat to mend and a couple of shirts to alter.  Then I must look at the wedding dresses again. I am so happy I have cut off work until next month.  I am so much calmer, and it is wonderful.

Stayed up way too late last night reading and I am paying for it today.

Kelsa and I have been out riding the little kids 4-wheeler, and her bike, and I resprayed the weeds I had sprayed before the rainstorm, then we picked up all the Roscoe poo.  Kelsa loves that job.  I hate it, but it must be done. She thinks it is great fun.  She walks around and finds is and then I pick it up in a bag and we throw it away. I think I have the rotten end of the job.  But as long as she thinks it is fun, it gets me to keep up on it.

I now need to empty and clean the bottom shed which is huge and then the garage.  But those two projects will involve Nate and Daniel. After they are done, I will feel like I have done what I could to organize this place without Joel.

I hate that he is gone.  It is so very hard.


Thursday, May 18, 2023

Thursday, Cleaning, cleaning


This is me but I look worse. All I have left to do in the four main rooms is clean the kitchen and do the kitchen floor.  I will still have to deep clean and polish the copper in one part of the kitchen, but I am awaiting the delivery of copper polish.

Then it is onto the bedrooms and bathrooms, which are not as bad as I shut the doors to these rooms.  I did notice the navy bath towels in the master bath were dusty, so they are in the washer right now.

I have two more people to pick up today and one is a bride dress. If I get the housework done, I have many new plants to plant.  That is my carrot today I get to go outside and play in the dirt.

I still have two small sewing projects I should get done, but I might just wait until next week. See how I am?

It is 1:21 in the afternoon and I just made myself eat a yogurt. I just am not hungry, and I have to force myself to eat unless it is candy or chips. Seriously need to rethink this diet.

My daughter (youngest) is coming on Sunday after church to help me plant the garden and clean out the upper shed. It is a disaster and so many items in there I will never use.  I will see if Nate wants them and then sell of give away.  Joel had a large leaf vacuum and blower that is too big for me to use.  Also, a large weed eater, that I cannot drag around. I bought smaller tools that I can handle.  Joels toolbox needs to be gone through and organized as I will keep those. But I need things put back in such a way that I can get things out without killing myself.  Right now, it is taking your life in your hands to go out there.

My shop is a horrid mess, and I really should put that on the list, but if I get the house really clean then it will just be a quick pick up and I can face that later.  Isn't it always about facing something later in my life?

Well onward and upward, I am going into finish the kitchen. Might just take a nap.

Kim is smiling about the nap.

Wednesday, May 17, 2023

Wednesday, I got something done!

 And truth be told I like my idiot. Hey yesterday I was able to finish 3 wedding dresses.  Yes three!  I also got one ripped and ready. Pretty darn proud of myself.

I cleaned nothing, but I did strip the sofa and washed it the day before and hung it on the line and then put the cover on last night.  So, a little done.  But nothing else.  It will all wait. The cleaning that is.

Finally got the last two medical bills on Joels death worked out, I think.  Not that I did not verbally contact them in February and twice sent letters with all info.  No, I have to call and make contact a 4th time. So, aggravating.  It is like he will never be buried.  Well really, he is in the closet in the spare room waiting patiently.

And you wonder why I am losing it!!!!!

Anyway, back to my most wonderfullness. I got three wedding dress done yesterday.  Did I tell you that already?  Sorry I just wanted you to be super amazed, because I was. Drum roll please!  I'm not hearing it.  A little louder please... Thank you.

Today I have 4 pairs of pants to get hemmed a couple of shirts to hem and then two bags of hemming and mending and I am done for the week! So, the sooner I put my nose to the grindstone the better.  And when I am done, I can clean house.  That is my carrot.  I get to clean house.  My life is so exciting, I tell you everyone wants to be me.

Now out scouring the nurseries for the dead and dying plants on sale, to fill the garden bed.  They have to be the kind of plants that rodents and deer won't eat. I went out this morning and continued to kill spurge where it was coming up among the rocks.  I will be diligent, so this crap does not have a chance to seed itself. Last year it was such a problem, but we (Joel) let it go too far.  But not me I am on a mission to eradicate it.

Well, I am off to sew and it has been nice not to have new work coming in.  


Tuesday, May 16, 2023

Tuesday, Pennies from heaven


Before Joel and I went on our cruise last December, we went and spent a few days with Sissie. Joel was a walker and took a long walk every day.  He knew of my love of finding coins and he would often bring me home change he had found. 

One of the days we were at Sis's he came home after a walk and said that I needed to go with him as he had found something that would make me happy.  So, we took off and close to a shopping center there was a rock bed that someone had thrown a handful of bright shiny new pennies.  They were down amoungst the rocks and when I found them all there were 13.  We laughed about it and he knew I would be thrilled so he let me find them.

The morning of his passing, we came out of the hospital into the beautiful bright sunshine of Christmas morning and right between my feet was a bright shiny new penny.  I picked it up and thought, I bet Joel put that there.  I know it is silly, but it made me happy.

Yesterday was a very, very bad day.  I won't go into it, but just know that it was probably the worst day since he passed.  

Today I found out the conflict has been resolved, but only after having a nervous breakdown yesterday to get it resolved.  So, I went out to refill my soda cup after the resolving phone call and what did I find but these two bright shiny pennies down in the rocks just like I found in D. C. at my sisters. Again, silly but I took it that Joel was telling me things are okay now.  All accounts are where they are supposed to be, and I will be fine.  No more paperwork, no more disturbing phone calls. 

I did get some cleaning done, but very little also not as much sewing as I would like.  So grateful I cut off new work, as work I had already agreed to do keeps coming in.  In fact, I have 4 new bridesmaid dresses and a pair of wedding pants that came in yesterday.  So, you can see why I needed to cut off.

I ran out of copper polish so no more polishing until my Amazon order comes in, that is a break.

Also did you know that Mc Donalds has raised they $1.00 diet cokes to $1.39 here?  It is a tragedy I tell you at least for me.  So it is back to the station that will refill your giant soda every day for $9.99 a month. It is this gas station where I found my two pennies.

SO today, no cleaning until I have 4 more pairs of pants done, and two wedding dresses.  In fact, one of the dresses will be picked up this afternoon.  Yikes!


Monday, May 15, 2023

Monday, No more work!

 My new kitchen sink!  So excited, yet so deflated. The mess the grinding of granite created is absurd. I will be cleaning for days, and you all know just how much time I have on my hands these days.

It took about 2 hours to grind out the original sink hole, and there is a fine powder of granite dust all over the house now.  I did close all the doors I could, but the four main rooms are just a mess.

This dust takes about three cleanings to remove all of it. Look at that sink water and that was just from wiping down a few cupboards.  It sticks to every surface even horizontal ones.  Ugh!

After reading last Thursdays comments, I have decided to turn down all work until the end of the month.  That way I can get caught up.  I just really need to be caught up to feel like I can tackle life right now.

I am hand watering 4 different places right now and taking care of the neighbor's cats.  I did not mean to add this much extra to my watering cycle, but they all piled up on top of each other. The neighbor will be home on Friday, and my sister's place will have someone there on Wednesday, so I will be down to my place and Lil sis's man's place which I can water every other day.  I have to water most of my stuff every day. This no watering except by hand restriction is getting old really fast.

Also practicing this choir piece for an hour every day.  The house is just falling down around me and that really stresses me out.

An example of the dust situation. The first pass with a wet cloth even when you turn it over and over leaves streaks of the dust.  It takes three cleanings to get it up. 

As long as I am cleaning, I decided to polish the copper, as I wiped off the fine dust.  I am only 1/2 done and I spent at least three hours yesterday polishing.  But why put it back up there dirty?  This kind of project is top down.  What a mess!!!!!

You can really see just how dirty the copper is, as I have not hit this section yet.  I actually made a list breaking down all the work just in two rooms and then I got discouraged. It is just so much.  But I am going to use the how do you eat an elephant approach.

So every 15 minutes I either sew or I clean.  Back and forth. Let's see if this works.

 This doesn't even cover the dining room, family room and front room.

But all I can do is just get started.

Onto sewing eight pairs of pants that I have ready! I have to start somewhere. I am setting my timer.


Thursday, May 11, 2023

Thursday, Burn out, big time

 I am tired of sewing. I mean really tired.

I do have a pile of pants that are ready for the machine, but so far I cannot make myself do them. I really need to get another wedding dress done, but...

My kitchen sink is tore up.  The granite people will be here tomorrow to drill new holes.  Who knows when I will get the new sink put in, as plumbers are hard to come by in this region

Might be doing diches in the tub for a while.  Oh goody.


Wednesday, May 10, 2023

Wednesday, Tired of sewing

 Kelsa on her motorized tricycle pushing her baby.  She has it all figured out. I remember having to pedal as a child.  How about you?

No kids today so no excuse but to get things done.  Dang.  They are such a good excuse.

I only have one prom dress left to finish and then one other dress before I attack the piles.  Of course, it is gorgeous out and I want to be outside so bad.  I will not allow myself out until I get my quota done.  Hmmmm....

What is the quota?

Don't really want to know.

Happy picture, Slug is in the full sun. Sluggy is okay just needed a break.  I called her and told her not to make 
me worry, because it is all about me.

Okay I have seriously messed up this post and have no time to fix it so please endure.:)

Too cute, Look at Kelsa's tongue. This picture made me laugh.  William's expressions. 

If you think Kelsa does not get into things she does. Here she is undecorating the Easter tablescape.  Yesterday she got ahold of my stamp roll and proceeded to stick at least 20 forever stamps around a pencil before I caught her.  Took me forever to carefully unwrap those things and get them back on the roll.

Easter Picture.  Auntie Jethelyn bought her this dress. I know I have a picture of Owl (Oliver )on Easter and now I can't find it.

Just too much cuteness around here.

Woke up early to get my nails and toes done.  With all the yard work I was pretty skanky. 

I am very tired of sewing, but I will persevere. Only because I have to, if you know what I mean.


1. put ruffle on a dress

2. finish last prom dress

3. jeans,shirt

4. hem jeans

5.hem three jeans

6. hem navy pants and blouse

7. hem 8 pairs of jeans

8.fix button on jeans

9. sack of mending

10. wedding dress start

On you mark get set...

 go get a soda.  I bet you thought I was going to say SEW!  You were WRONG! 

Okay, okay I will get to work.

Have a great and productive day!


Tuesday, May 9, 2023

Tuesday, I got some things done!

 I was able to get many things done on the list yesterday but finally had to stop with one dress left as my back gave out about 6:00 last night.

It is cold and rainy again, but I will take it as it keeps me inside and we need to rain. I do not have to water when it rains.  One less thing to do.

Missionaries came over this morning and did a ton of yard work.  4 young men for two hours can knock out a good deal of work. I was grateful, and they were happy to have some physical activity.

We had a huge thunder, lightning and hailstorm yesterday. Kelsa came running to the shop and said, "Grandma, come look it is Merry Christmas!" We did not get as much hail as downtown where it ruined a lot of flowers.  I lost a few but not that many.

I will be so happy when I feel like the yard is at even keel then I can relax and just water.  But there are still many more hours of work out there. Cheryl's post reminded me of just how much there is to do when you are by yourself, and it all depends on you. Thanks goodness I really like to be outside, and I like yard work.

I was really quite down when I got home from Hawaii.  I had looked forward to the trip and then when I got home it was so hard to be alone.  Also, the yard work was so overwhelming, and I just really sank.  But I am feeling so much better now.  Thankful for great kids and the help I have received. I am very blessed.

I have had the grandkids quite a bit and I don't mind at all as they keep me happy, and I find I can get quite a bit of sewing done even with them here. I love being able to help my kids. 

I was asked to accompany the ward choir in June, so I am having to practice a piece every day.  I have not accompanied a choir since high school.  I did several years of children's groups, but there you are just playing the melody which is easier.  Also playing hymns is melody.  When you play accompaniment, it is not melody and much harder for me. But it gives me a purpose which I like.

Today's list:

1. Hem a prom dress

2. hem a bridesmaid dress

3. hem a bridesmaid dress

4. darts in a prom dress

5. darts in a prom dress

6. darts and mend a prom dress

7. alter a dress

8. hem a pair of jeans

9. hem a pair of jeans

10. hem a pile of jeans

Let's see what Kim can get done before her back starts to holler. 

My shop desperately needs to be cleaned and I really need to stop and do that soon. 

But tomorrow I have to work on the piles as they are taking over the floor and bugging me. If Sissy were here she would have a fit!

I had to go yesterday and get my license plates renewed. They were expired and I don't know how that had happened. Joel always put on the stickers, but I took care of the book work.  Don't know if it slipped through the mail or what?  Anyway, I am street legal again. Just in case you were worrying...

Have a great and productive day.  Haven't said that in a while.


Monday, May 8, 2023

Monday, Sewing and planting


My oldest daughter with a pineapple.  By the way Jethelyn was born a vampire and burns in the sun no matter how much sunscreen she puts on.  Also breaks out in sun hives so constantly on Benadryl.  She still had fun.

It is rainy and cold today and I want it to be warm but at least I can work outside and not sweat to death. 

The weather tried to cooperate, as it rained a lot and then the sun shone, and it was cool enough to work outside all weekend.

I about killed my son in law working him to death. He power washed chairs that had not been done for about 10 years, they look a completely different color. Then he roto till both garden beds.  Carried I don't know how many bags of dirt and mulch all over the place.

I was very sore Saturday night. Still have loads of work to do, but the shop has to come first. Drat! And of course, it is absolutely beautiful outside, and it is mocking me!

Today I have quite a list of things to do.

1. finish a wedding dress

2. hem mother of the bride

3.fix a hat

4. alter a prom dress

5. alter a prom dress

6. alter a prom dress

7. alter a prom dress

8.hem some pants

That should keep me out of the bar today!


Thursday, May 4, 2023

Thursday, I am in trouble

 I am in trouble with Sissie because I am not emailing, and I am not blogging.  But no matter how hard I try I am constantly interrupted by clients, the phone, clients, the phone, clients..... We won't even talk about grandkids because they are just too much fun.

My grandkids are my tether and I so need one these days.

Here is Kelsa after she played with Owl (Oliver) all day.  She is wiped out.  I love how she crosses her legs like a grown up.

Our youngest daughter Braunwyn bought her dad a flight for Christmas.  Nathan and William were able to use it and it was so cute because William was so excited.  I asked him if he saw Grandpa.

Isn't this the sweetest picture? I love it.

I really locked down the shop Monday afternoon and said NO MORE WORK.

Anyone who calls is put off until either the 15th or the end of the month.  I still have clients that just show up but I have even sent them packing. Just please come back at a later date.

I was feeling pretty powerful and good about myself late Monday afternoon after saying no quite a few times. 

 This pickup pulls into driveway and I swear it took 15 minutes for this old man to get out of the truck and up my walkway.  He had an arm in a sling, an artificial leg, and an eye patch.  I am not making this up.  He hollered at me when he got to the steps that he was deaf, so I had to talk loudly.  (Surprise, surprise).  He had a plastic bag with some pants and a shirt, and he needed them as soon as possible for his mother's funeral.  (Making me wonder, "How old it his Mother?") He then asked if I was a dry cleaner.  Well no but I was a seamstress.  Good as he needed his pants hemmed and the drycleaner had sent him to my place.  But he also needed his white shirt washed and pressed.  Heavy sigh.  Why God oh Why?  I mean it I can't make this stuff up.

Monday night found me scrubbing, some kind of something out of his shirt and then washing it and ironing it. Tuesday morning, he txt to say he was suffering from low blood sugar and would be a little late for pickup.  This is what happens when I say I am not taking in any more work!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I have altered 5 wedding dresses and 8 other dresses since Monday.  Today I have done a dress and I am working on another wedding dress. Still have 10 more wedding dresses in the shop, but will take no mare until the end of the month.

Well unless the bride shows up with a wooden leg and an eye patch.  I am just a softy for an eye patch.

Kim still grieving but with scissors in hand.

By the way Slugs sent me a pair of Gugenhiem dress shears!!!! For someone who espouses frugality that is quite the gift.  They are gorgeous and I just cut through two layers of leather (motorcross pants, ) like butter.  I am almost afraid to use them.  Like I think maybe I should mount them for display. Also I will never catch Joel cutting sand paper or wire with these, so there might be an upside to this widow business.  

Okay sis are you happy now?  You old witch. 

Monday, May 1, 2023

Monday, I am alive, I think....

 Oh my, Sorry for the long break, but I think I am back. I am way too over stressed and busy.

I have a serious case of I don't want to's If that is such a thing.

It is prom season and wedding dresses are haunting me, but at least I have May. I am now turning down work for the next two weeks and even told a wedding dress redo (done by another shop) that I could not do her dress.  Sorry I just can't redo someone else's bad job.

Had a wonderful time in Hawaii.  I can truly see why they call it Paradise.  I need to download some pictures. 

Has anything serious happened in blog land as I need to know and have no real time to go back and read blogs? Please enlighten me in the comments.

I am still really struggling with severe grief which I thought I would be over by now. It paralyzes me and I hate it.  I know, I know I am not supposed to hate, but I do.

I wish I could be more like my old self, but I have not found her yet. I still have my wicked sense of humor. 

The girls and I having High Tea at the hotel it was so fun.

I met Santa on the beach.  I sunburned my forehead and it is now peeling so it just looks like I am dirty. Hawaii is expensive. I mean really, really expensive. When I go again, I will stick to the north shore, much less touristy and less junk.

But I am grateful for the trip it was very distracting and gave me something to look forward to, then I have to come home to the sewing shop from hell.

Well, I have a very full plate today so I am off, hopefully I will be more up tomorrow!