Wednesday, November 26, 2025

Wednesday, I am a mess


 I need one of these chairs only mine would be a sofa. I am a mess. In such a funk I forgot to blog yesterday.  Just sat in a fog. Reminded me of the days after Joel's death.

Too much death.  The anniversary of the babies, (which included many posts to my nephew/brother to keep him sane), then Hiedi, and thinking of Joel at Christmas it will be the three-year mark, just more than I can or want to handle. I am normally a happy funny person.  But I am not that right now. 

I am trying to figure out how to climb out. I did it before and I can do it again.

Sissie will be here, and I think Signe' is dropping off the kids for a few hours.  That will help. Sissie won't be thrilled about the kids but oh well she will manage.

I think Signe' (daughter) is getting a kidney infection.  She has the same symptoms that she had before.  So, I might run up there this evening and help her with some housework. 

My real problem is that I am sitting doing nothing physical and that is not good.

I did get to the doctor's office yesterday and signed a form and was able to get another month of meds. But when I called the insurance office their computers went down and now, I have to call and go through that again.... Managed to get to the pharmacy to pick up meds and have to go back for more. 

The highlight of the last two days is working with Dan on a very hard jig saw puzzle, which helps take my mind off me, myself and I. 

I do not like wallowing, I am not a wallower, or maybe I am?/??????

I would so like to post a funny Kim positive post, but it is not in me right now. Heavy sigh.

I am looking for my lost self, where is she? Somewhere eating chocolate?

Well, I have piecrust to roll out so I had better get busy.  Maybe that will help. Sissie will come back and see that I have done nothing and then.... I don't want to know

God is good

Kim


26 comments:

  1. It's a hard time at Holidays with death and dysfunction but you will survive. Lets sing with Gloria Gaynor, "oh not me, I will survival....."

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  2. Give yourself a little grace. You WILL get through it; it just isn't easy. HUGS! Enjoy your family tomorrow.

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  3. Holidays are always hard. Enjoy the holiday and lean on those who love you.

    God bless.

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  4. Dance wildly in the kitchen while you sing or listen to Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive.
    I know all this is so hard for you.

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  5. (((((Kim))))) you can use a hug right now.

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  6. It’s good to post and let us know what’s going on. Praying for you, and our God who is so good and faithful will also place you on hearts that will be praying as well.

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  7. Holding you in my thoughts and heart, dear Kim. Emotions are real; dealing with loss is hard. Please don't look down on yourself for your feelings.

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    1. Not liking it one bit, but this too shall pass. Thank you

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  8. "This too shall pass Kim" - try to remember. These funks catch up with us all at times & they are Not fun at all. But it will pass. In the meantime be kind to yourself - do the jigsaws & other things that take your mind off the grief. Rest when you need to. Sending love to you Kim. xx

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  9. This is the time to care for yourself and to rest. To find something silly or light if you can. Hugs from Terra

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  10. You are not wallowing Kim.
    It's awful enough to lose
    your husband but the holidays
    bring it all back.
    I'm glad your surrounded by
    People who love you.
    So many are alone.
    May God watch over you
    and hold you in his merciful hands.

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  11. I'm so sorry you are struggling with your grief - I can't imagine. Sending you lots of love & good thoughts & hope you get a chance to relax & enjoy your family today. - Hawaii Planner

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  12. I believe that our loved ones who have passed are in a better place, but I know that it is hard to remember this time of year. I have been thinking of my husband a lot lately. Hilogene in Az.

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    1. Isn't it fun (said in a sarcastic voice) Bless you

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  13. The holidays are bittersweet for all of us and I'm sure losing your MIL and Heidi so close to Christmas when you lost Joel is a hard hit for your soul. You will pull through this my friend. I have faith in you. Be a little kinder to yourself.

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