Sig and I at lunch on the coast. We had fun, I cooked a lot and we beached a lot, and I took long naps with Kelsa. I have to say riding in the back seat between two kids for 8 hours is quite a challenge, but I managed it like a true Grandma.
We stayed at a beautiful beach house. It had a huge fully stocked kitchen (not food). I cooked big breakfasts, and a few dinners. I just thoroughly enjoyed myself.
Now I am home and back with the house Nazi. (Sissie) I have to say I am caught up in the shop but still very, very busy. September brides are climbing out of the woodwork. September will be a very busy month.
Sissie has me saving for my December taxes and I am almost 1/2 way there. Should be ready to pay in full by next week. Then all the money that comes into the shop is gravy. I can either put it on the house or save it for travel. I want to go see Slug really bad, and I also want to go and disturb Sam's peace of mind. Like she really has any right now. I know I don't, and we can't be that much alike.
I have saved $465.00 in 5's for my trip with my best buddy to Hawaii next year. Still saving all my change, but it will not be as plentiful, as Mcd's raised the price of a diet coke, and I am not fulfilling my needs as regularly as I did. There by not saving as much change. Don't worry in the end I will be financially ahead.
Nate just got called in with a shift change, so the kids just arrived. Sissie has my work all laid out for the day. OR my quota I should say. She is a slave driver.
Grandma bought hats. I thought these were appropriate. Schmills is into octopi, and Kelsa loves the baby shark song. I think I sang it about 1200 times will driving to and from the coast.
I am still reeling from Joel's death. I keep thinking it will get easier and then bang it is steamrolling me. I want the old Kim back and I can't find her but will continue looking. I am sure she will be much changed.
I do have to say that blogging is painful, I don't know what to say. I don't want to constantly whine. No one likes a Debbie downer. I just have to reinvent myself and the blog. In the meantime, please tolerate me.
Well, I had better get to work or I will be in trouble.
I think I can hear her footsteps. Kind of sounds like the shark music from Jaws.
Kim
Sounds like a fun trip and the pics are great. Don't think you give yourself enough credit. You are out and going and doing. That is a huge thing!
ReplyDeleteHave a good day.
Yes I hide the p[ain well.
DeleteLove the good news about the trip! I just want to say I understand. Give yourself some more time. The blog is where we are real, and pain is real, loneliness is real, sometimes we need to walk through it and all of it's ugliness. We are here. No matter what you say. I undersantd. ~jackiesee~
ReplyDeleteThanks Jackie that means alot.
DeleteThe above comments say it all. One minute, one hour at a time, one step. You are not required to do more or be more.
ReplyDeleteI know, now tell the people around me please. :)
DeleteAs a recent widow myself ( my darling husband died in March aged 63 - from cancer - I find your blogs really powerful and positive . Much like Sam’s . You are still striving , still doing, still working , caring for your family - you are amazing
ReplyDeleteI understand completely that blogging must be impossible at times , but I for one really value what you have to say
Siobhan x.
Oh Siobhan I am so sorry. And he was so young. Isn't it awful? Where do we go from here? I guess we will find out.
DeleteI don't think you are whining. You are just giving us life as it really is. The beach is wonderfully relaxing, you have to get back to work and you are still sad.
ReplyDeleteIt makes life feel normal.
I am still sad and I don't really know what normal is.
DeleteGlad you had a wonderful trip to the beach, and who does not want to be serenaded by a tot singing Baby Shark doo-doo. doo-doo.
ReplyDeleteI am providing this link for you to play whenever you hear approaching footsteps https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BX3bN5YeiQs
Sorry the above was from me.
DeleteI knew immediately
DeleteYou are not whining! Make sure Schmills doesn't operate any machinery while wearing his new hat (can he see anything?)!
ReplyDeleteI know, But he had such fun with it.
DeleteI hear you. I know. I feel like a cranky version of who I used to be. I'm glad you had a good trip.
ReplyDeleteCranky is the word. Or angry maybe. Just worn out trying to get better for everyone around me. I hate it.
DeleteQuite frankly, I would be disturbed if you were all sunshine and butterflies after losing a loved partner in life. I could tell you stories of people I actually know who were into questionable activities after a loss such as yours. How about talking to a man who said he loved her on second call and she gave him thousands of dollars, the person who slept about twenty hours a day with valium. One checked into a mental institution because she was lonely. You are okay as you are!
ReplyDeleteWell that mental institution is.....
DeleteIt's OK to be happy sometimes. You look happy in the picture. Life isn't what it was, but there is still joy to be found. You do you, and know we are here for you, holding you up and sending love and strength across the miles. And also Sam, and Hilogene and A. Marie and all the others who are struggling with loss. xo from Texas.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much
DeleteI think you can blog about anything you want, or not blog as the mood suits. You seem to be figuring it out, take days as they come. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThat is really all I can do.
DeleteI love the hats! Too cute.
ReplyDeleteIt did you good to get away
and enjoy your family. You need the sunshine in your life.
I can't imagine how hard things are for you. I'd be hiding in my closet wrapped in a blanket. Your an amazing lady.
So you just tell your truth.
No one here is going to judge.
Sometimes I feel like hiding in a closet.
DeleteWhat cute hats you found for the grandchildren!!! I am happy you got away and had a wonderful time.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
Thanks Jackie
DeleteThat's a great picture of you and Sig! I'm glad you were able to get away and enjoy the beach. I LOVE the hats. Don't be so hard on yourself Kim and never apologize for what your write on YOUR blog. The people that care will be here. Hugs!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Lori.
DeleteSounds like a wonderful trip true Grandma style. I love the hats! We had a next door neighbor when we lived in Pikeville and she was a widow. When my then husband was gone for a week to church camp, she said to me that is was nice knowing he would be coming back because it was different for her knowing her husband was not coming back. I’ve not forgotten that even after thirty some odd years. Hang in there, Kim. And make Sissie be nice to you. 😂
ReplyDeleteShe is horrid I tell you!
DeleteAll hugs, as in "always."
ReplyDeleteThanks April.
DeleteI really love to blog, but I just feel like I have nothing to say sometimes, and then it becomes painful, so I will do what I can. And thank you.
ReplyDeleteI love your pictures! Looks and sounds like you had a wonderful time. :) I'm really glad you were able to get away for a bit....I think it was much needed. ((((((HUGS))))) Please don't feel "guilty" for how you feel and what you are going through. I think you are doing remarkably well. Grief comes in waves and I know that Joel wants you to move forward and to spend time with your precious family. A family member here recently lost her husband also and we talked about how some days she feels strong and other days, she just feels empty. Dealing with everything related to her husband's passing and all the bills and things has been overwhelming at times. She told me she is so very thankful that she and her husband moved closer to family before he got sick and passed away so quickly. She could not do it without them. I am so glad that you too have that strong family support system around you.
ReplyDeleteIt has not been that long, you are doing great..i was married 44 yrs and have been widowed for almost 12 yrs...it will feel different ....right now so much to deal with ...sending good wishes . it is not the same with a new partner,but life goes on and we are strong...i know my husband and dog will be waiting for me up above.
ReplyDelete