Monday, July 8, 2019

Monday, I am a loser!

      I have a confession to make about my personality and my lifestyle.  I am a loser.  I have always been a loser.  No matter how much I try to keep my head on straight I lose things. I need to have things tattooed to my body to keep things straight.  I have tried over the years to rectify this problem but to no avail.  The reason that I am admitting this now is that my purse was stolen last night out of my car which was in the garage. 

     I have spent the morning tracing down cc's that yes have already been used.  These little buggers will be caught, but in the mean time I have had to waste my time and I am upset and sick to my stomach.  I am so behind in the shop and I need to get my mind and act together and I can hardly think.

     The police have been here three times and they are after the little turds as they have them on camera at several locations both the car license # and the photos of them using said cards.  The cards had no balances so the charges are easy to trace.  Of course my meds, my key fobs, my prescription sunglasses everything will have to be replaced.  The police think that the thieves are so stupid I will probably get everything back as they have dumped the purse and things somewhere or still have it in the car or the place they live.  If they are dumb enough to use the cards on camera over and over in the same small town the cards are issued in they are dumb enough to not throw the purse away.

     Just picked up my new bottle of Xeljanz to the tune of $4879.00, not counting the other med that is close to $900.00 that has to be called in. What a fiasco.

     Now why was my purse in the car?  Because I cannot keep track of it.  I lose it all the time and it is large.  I cannot remember where I put my purse or my cell phone or my  keys.  I cannot count the # of fights  my Hubs and I have had over keys in the last 40 years.  I do not like to keep my purse in my shop because too many people come through and I fear it will be stolen.  So I keep it in the car.  I do not lock the car because I keep my keys in my purse. If Hubs accidentally locks my cars with my keys in it I get mad at him.  I know where my purse is and my keys.  I lose my cell phone at least once or twice a day.  Hub's is constantly calling my phone to help me find it. Do you see the problem here.  Yes I am the problem.

     I know the garage door was shut last night, but sometimes especially when airplanes fly by or the police drive by the garage can open or close for no reason.  The police said I am now easy pickens so now I have to move my cash box into another room and have a code on it and have it secured to a piece of furniture.  We also need to set up security cameras on the front door , the shop entrance and inside the shop.  Like I have the time and the money for this bs.

     I have to keep my purse somewhere else in the house and just be much more careful.  This will be very, very, very, hard for me.  I have terrible habits and do not change things very well. I am very, very, very VERY undisciplined.  Now go ahead and yell and lecture, as hubs has not done any of that at all...... (not)  But I will tell you this is a clinical problem that no medication can take care of.  I have tried to change bad habits and I work very  ( I like the word very ) hard to keep my sanity and my brain on track.  I work much harder than most people to just get out the door in the morning in one piece.  What is normal for most people is excruciatingly hard for me.

     I have people say mean things to me sometimes when they first get to know me.  I have many things that I can do and I do well.  I am not bragging, I just can.  I was born this way.  I did not make myself this way.  I do not do these things on purpose to make you feel bad  or to make myself feel better.  It is the way I am.  My brain runs 100 miles and hour and rarely shuts down.  I have always been like this, from my earliest childhood memories.  I can amass large amounts of information very quickly and see through problems and schematics.  I am very fast  and move quickly and seldom with any mistakes.  My brain is just go, go, go.  But when it comes to very simple things like right and left, up and down, where was I last, where are my physical things, I am lost in space most of the time.

     So now I have to develop a knew set of protocols and this is going to me so hard.  I will have to devote extreme energy to this and I don't have time for that right now.  I don't have time for it ever.  I need a keeper.  

Thoughts?

Kim  . 

51 comments:

  1. First I am so very sorry! That is horrible and I hope they get the little butt tards that did that. I had my purse get stolen years ago and it was a big fiasco.

    You run a very successful business and seem to be very organized with that. You have your goals and charts and are very organized. You can make this change.
    Perhaps have hooks inside the door to hang your keys so they are always handy. Pick a place - say bedroom closet - and make that be your purse place. You can do this. I hate change as well - so I understand.

    So sorry!

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    1. Well yesterday I had a cell phone to my name. Hubs would not let me drive as he would not give me a key. It was like being grounded.:) Thanks for the pick me up as I am really down on myself tight now. I think I can do better, I just have to try.

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  2. Ok, now you know not to leave your purse in the car. Find a new place. A safe place. When you come home with your purse and keys, ALWAYS put them in the same place. Always. I have a row of hooks beside my door where I always hang my purse and keys. Absolutely never any other place.

    I am a very organized person. I feel that I have the gift of administration, but I have problems with directions, finding my way around our large metro area, and whether I should turn left or right when leaving a garage sale. I do not know north or south but turn left at that gas station. That's okay because I am super organized and can compensate for this. You can too.

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    1. I have heard that if a person can see your purse from the door, it is not safe. Behind the door is slightly safer.

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    2. No, it cannot be seen. The hooks are in a windowless corner by the door that leads up from our tuck under garage, not our front door.

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    3. I just need to develop better habits when it comes to things. I am just very disorganized and always flying by the seat of my pants. You are right a purse should never be left in a car.

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  3. What a pain in the behind! Know that you are not alone in losing things. Deciding what will be the best way and place to keep things has helped me. A few years ago I learned of a couple whose house was broken into in the middle of the night and their cell phones, wallet, purse, CC and things of value were all taken, like yours. They were upstairs sleeping, and all of the stolen things were downstairs. They never heard the thieves. People told them that things of value should be with you in your bedroom at night, especially, and including your car key fob, which has set the alarm on your car. I have adopted this practice. I keep my keys on a caribiner which attaches to my purse and my purse goes to my bedroom at night. I understand the concern about your purse being stolen or pilfered at work. Have you considered keeping it in a drawer in a filing cabinet or desk? That is what I did when I was teaching.

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    1. Well major changes are occurring here as far as safety and yes I will be putting things in a private safe place from now on, I just have to discipline myself.

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  4. Lifelong, non diagnosed ADHD maybe?

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    1. Probably, although I was never bad in school, I really did not get into trouble. I was very bored and finished all my work in minutes. School was so boring and if I had not bee an avid reader probably would have been a real pain. My mind just runs non stop.

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  5. I'm so sorry. I had my camera stolen from my car, and yes, my own fault but doesn't help solve it does it? Cut yourself a break. I'm sorry for the fiasco of having to replace things with all you have on your plate now, and always.

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    1. Oh Sam it is such a nightmare and at such an awkward time. But is any time good for this. I am just trying to stay calm and working that is all I can do.

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  6. I am so sorry for you, but gee do I ever understand it. I have been a functional (kinda) ADHD person all my life(Mainly because when I came along there was no such thing as ADHD, especially without the excessive hyperactivity) Like you I have things I am very very good at, and a ton of things I crap out on. My brain does not react well to what others call order, so I have to have a set of "rules" that I absolutely cannot break or total chaos will ensue. I will not even begin to tell you how many times I have lost my keys, money, purse, credit cards, phone, only to find them later in the most obtuse places in the house, so I am bound by stupid self imposed rules. I had my dad build me a stool with a removable top. (Basically a big cube on casters with an upholstered lid. It sits 17 1/2 inches from the floor so it functions as additional seating when needed, but also houses my purse.) It lives in the den which is right off the back side of the foyer, so it is on my way out of the house but looks like a piece of furniture. It is also a good place to stash crap if company is coming over and I run out of clean up time.

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    1. That is such a good idea. I am going to buy one of those little cubicle ottomans for the shop for my purse and keys. Thanks happy to know there is another artistic person out there with my brain.

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    2. I am reading this reply and realized I had ordered something online this morning and was walking to put my wallet back in my purse (which is currently out of the cube) when the phone rang and I had to hunt it down to answer it, which meant I had to make up the bed while I was talking to my cousin, which meant I was in my bedroom and had to turn on the Echo to listen to a podcast while straightening up the bedroom, which meant I had to pick up the clothes to take to the laundry room, which meant I had to walk through the breakfast room where I had a project going on, which meant I had to stop and draw for a few minutes, which meant I had to set the laundry basket down . . . . . .I found my wallet much later in the powder room where at some time mid chaos I walked in to replace the toilet tissue and evidently set my wallet in the basket that holds hand towels. I am probably a great candidate for adderall, but I have lived with this strange brain for so long, why complicate life with normalcy?

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    3. You are making my laugh so hard. We jumped off the same star my friend.

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  7. Well I certainly hope they catch those little turds who stole your purse & then used your credit cards. I imagine it won't be long before they do. I get what you're saying - I used to lose my car keys ALL.THE.TIME. It was ridiculous, to be honest. Then I started hanging them on a specific hook all the time when I came in, & I have a hook I use on my purse that I always use for them when I'm out.
    How about having hubby put a hook on the back of the door you go out/in so you can hang your purse there? Hopefully you do lock that door at night so that if your garage goes up again, no one can come in to the house. But it would be right there where it would be easy to hang/retrieve coming & going. Oh dear.......we all have these kind of days. Thankfully it was only a purse. Yeah, it's a pain in the ass, but it can all be taken care of & replaced. Hang in there, friend.

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    1. I am really going to try and solve this problem. Thanks for the good wishes.

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  8. People suck. I hope they catch them. We had 3 people robbing cars for weeks a few years ago. They would try every door on all cars and take whatever they could. They finally got caught and had a ton of stuff at their apartment. They even used a few remote garage door openers to get into garages to steel tools and stuff. We always keep are cars locked for this reason. This winter s homeless mane was doing the same thing. He would try car doors until he found one unlocked. He wasn't steeling anything, only wanted somewhere to sleep. Several people in the neighbor hood would find stuff he left behind in their cars. 2 people found him sleeping in their cars. The church helped him get into a shelter

    I have no tips for you about finding your phone. I lose mine all the time. I am too busy to remember where I leave it. Hubby made me a rack of key hooks and hung it by the front door so they never get lost.

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  9. Girl.... that sucks!! I am so sorry that happened to you. I hope they catch them and you are able to get your purse and contents back. I don't think you are alone when it comes to forgetting and or misplacing items. I can so relate!

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    1. Well at least I can feel better about my so called memory issues as it seems many of us struggle with this.

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  10. Oh no! I always lose my phone, keys, purse, whateer. I never lose sewing stuff, but lose pots or pans. I will not hang my keys on a hook in the house, because people can remove the whole keyring or just one key. For about 30 years, I have kept my purse on the bed to my left near my head.

    A for keys? I can email my friend to call me. I have been known to go to a neighbor's house to ask him to call me. It is embarrassing. I have mostly solved that problem. I keep keys to house and car on a little strap on my flip phone. I have a key safe outside my house and keep a car and house key inside it. I have had to have people drive me home so I can get my car key since I have locked my house key, car key, AND my cell phone in the car. I also keep a separate house and car key on a carabiner inside my purse. Tommy has a car key and house key on his key chain. I am hopeless with this.

    I am quick to learn things, but learning to keep keys has been a long journey. Now, although no one hears of my losing keys because I always have many backups.

    Tommy has had to give me his key to let me in my house. I used the key safe twice in one day, usually three or four times a week. Before I had the key safe, he drove 60 miles to let me in. I have had neighbors climb and let me in. I have sat in the cold, dark, rain, and with mosquitoes waiting for someone to come to their house and help me or for Tommy to drive here.

    The flip phone is black and heavy with the keys, so it can slip off wherever I put it and hide under the ottoman or bed or car seat. It is a nightmare.

    I never lost my keys until I was in my 40s. I might have to ponder where they were, but it was not an ordeal to find them.

    When I get out of the car, I always lock the door. Even then, I cover my purse with a coat or blanket or towel. Yes, I take a towel to cover my purse. I sort of pile the towel or coat on the purse, never making it neat like I am hiding something.

    If I am caught off guard with purse exposed and workman or anyone coming to my house, I put my purse in washer or dryer or in dirty clothes. I always keep my cell phone with keys attached in my pocket.

    I once caught a long time relationship going through money in my wallet. I went to take a bath, had the water running, and put on a bathrobe and ran out to get a towel from the dryer. I found him with money in his hand. I had been dating him for three or four years. I wondered how long he had been checking on my money or stealing it. He is the person who put my caution into hyperdrive.

    Trust no one. Other than Tommy, he is the only person who has ever had a key to my house. Tommy has a key only so he can lend it to me when I lock myself out. Actually, with the key safe, there is no need for his having a key.

    I would never suggest you can learn to remember. However, like me, you can learn to cope by having precautions in place. No one knows how many times I lose my kkeys every day or cannot find my purse.

    I may be hopeless. But, I have learned to cope and hide it.



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    1. Replacing car keys these days costs hundreds of dollars, I just have to develop better habits

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  11. Echoing what others said about the scumbags that took your purse. I hope they get what they deserve!

    I always put my keys in my purse/put my purse in the kitchen cabinet. (My phone is always in my pocket so I can count my steps.) In the morning I have a routine so I don't forget anything.

    Good luck. If I can learn to be organized ANYONE can. It's all about practicing awareness.

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    1. I am hoping, Kathy if you can do it maybe I can also.

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  12. I am so sorry to hear about that theft! I don't have any solutions. Every night when I hear our dogs going crazy, I imagine somebody breaking into our cars in the garage. They haven't. Maybe because of the dogs! We don't keep anything valuable in there. Just my little change cup.

    Hick even suggested, when we built our house, that we leave the KEYS in the vehicles. That's because we're about 4 miles from a maximum security prison, and he figures an escapee would take off and not bother to break into the house. I figure they'd head the other way, one mile to the highway, and hitch a ride fast. Men and women, different ways of thinking.

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    1. This is such a pain in the ass, I am just so mad and really just as mad at myself.

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  13. Hugs - Kim - just hugs. God made us all different and you are his daughter! Hope you are having a better day!

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  14. This sucks. I had my purse stolen once and my wallet only stolen another time.
    I am a firm believer in karma being a bitch and those thieves will get there's.
    You need a routine/place to keep your purse/keys/phone where it's not downstairs in the shop.
    And lock your car girl! ;-)

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    1. I know, I know, just no self discipline.

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    2. Call Sissie....she'll know what to do. ;-)

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  15. I hope they catch the little buggars. Don't blame yourself too much..we all make mistakes. Thing is when it happens the bad people seem to know it. Husband walks the perimeter every night at 9a. checking doors on cars and garages. Looks out back to see what's going on too. He's forgotten and so have I but we were lucky that night..the neighbors not so lucky.

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    1. I know I just think of the little buggers prowling for an opportunity.

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  16. I'm so sorry. It's hard not to beat yourself up, but please try not to. You are,- as others have said -so brilliant at so many things.
    I just have a feeling you may get your stuff back.. this too will pass.
    JP in the UK

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    1. I know it is hard not to be hard on myself as this is such a hit and adds to the chaos that already exists.

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  17. I am so sorry this happened to you and I do hope they catch the people who did it.

    Meantime, keep your purse in your bedroom on your dresser. That is what I do and I then always know where it is. Keys, cellphone, are always in it. We have a house phone so don't need it in the house. The first thing I do when I come home from anywhere is clean receipts out and then put it back on my dresser. I will pray for you that this stress eventually goes away.

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    1. I am going to get something to store it in, in the shop.

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  18. So sorry this happened to you!!!

    I know several people like this - really, really smart in some areas, and others... not so much. Sounds like a situational awareness thing - I know a few people who are the same way with placing things, or trying to navigate unknown areas: It takes a long time for them to figure out a new place. Hang in there.

    I find that if it looks pretty in the place it belongs, I'm more likely to remember to put it away (because I want it to look nice). Sounds silly - but may be worth thinking about?

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    1. I am going to figure something out as I never want this to happen again.

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  19. OK..you need to stop beating yourself up. I have a friend, engineer that left his work computer in his car in his driveway and it got stolen. It also had his work Credit card in it. His employer was not happy as not only did they have to replace what was stolen, it had software that was private to the company. He doesn't have a problem with keeping track of things at all. The cops most likely gave you the speech of NEVER leaving anything in your car. I had my window busted out for less than a dollar change in the console. I keep my purse near my coat. Keys are hung by the door and the extra set (we always pay to have copies) is in the basket. I have copy Front and Back off all our credit cards and membership cards as I had a child use my discount card that was attached to our bank account. You might need list WHERE you have your purse and keys on your phone just PLEASE do not leave your phone in the car.

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    1. Thanks Jules, I am kind of over it, but the financial fall out is....

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  20. Perhaps if you put your keys on a long lanyard or chain to wear around your neck? Like a necklace? Or maybe go to a thrift shop and find a long, pretty strand of beads and put your car/house keys on them and wear it as your necklace?

    Make yourself signs to help you remember the new routine. Put a sticker on the center of your steering wheel that says, "Grab your purse & keys!" Put a big sign on the door from garage to house that say, "Do you have your purse & keys??" Put a small table and big bowl inside your house near your door to garage, for your purse/keys. Place a large sign over the bowl with an arrow pointing down saying, "Put your purse & keys HERE!!"

    Lots of visual reminders should help. Change them up once in a while, like tack fabric on them or colored ribbons to help make you notice them.

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    1. Thanks Sue. When cell phones were smaller I wore mine around my neck on a lanyard. Right now my make shift purse is hanging from the wall in the family room.:0

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  21. I'm so very sorry. It's both a giant PITA, and also expensive. We are dealing with my 13 year old, who is incredibly bright, but I believe ADHD. I can related. He loses everything. Jackets, water bottles, back packs, homework, school books. It's hard on him, hard on us. We're creating systems to make it easier for him. But, it's not laziness. Don't be so hard on yourself. We're all wired so differently!

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  22. Oh gosh I would feel so incrediby violated and scared. I hope they catch those little *^$^$ soon and you get all your stuff back. I wish I had some good advice for you but unfortunately in this respect you and I are a lot alike. I can problem solve big things in a flash my brain is always 100 miles ahead of me but every day things? Nope, can't keep em straight. I can't tell you how many utensils, container tops, important papers I have tossed out into the garbage without even realizing it, how many times I walk around during the day looking for my glasses, my phone, the this, the that.. We need a 12 step program!

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  23. So sorry! Hopefully in a short period of time your money will be refunded but I know there's so much more to this. I am 100% Anne in the kitchen! Not diagnosed but am sure I've got ADD as when my son was diagnosed the Dr. Asked which parent has it, (he stated that much hereditary). I lose everything and still working on a system (but I regress often).

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  24. Oh wow. I can't say a single bad thing about you Kim because I'm the same way and baby it gets worse and worse as we age! I was in Scotland for 3 weeks and tried to keep the car keys in the same coat pocket all of the time so I wouldn't lose them - HAH! Every time we'd get back to the car the keys were NOT is the designated pocket. I'd freak out yelling my keys are gone and then eventually I'd find them in another pocket. The feeling I get is just awful. There is something wrong with my brain. Sorry, I wish I knew the answer. Lemme know if you figure out a solution.

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