Wednesday, November 24, 2021

Wednesday, trying to come up for air

      I give up, I have had nothing but problems with this computer today and I am so behind. I do have a few items to sew but nothing that will take too much time and they are for family.

We get Oliver tonight and tomorrow as both his parents have to work and we will have dinner at 5 at Lil sis's.  

I have done nothing as far as cooking is concerned.  I say I am going to do it and then just find myself staring off into space.  I am not crying any more, so that helps some.  It has been a very hard last few days here.

Travis was able to see the children yesterday and he said they had done a good job, but it was obvious the cause of death.  

Our eldest who is a criminal prosecutor, says that this was a freak event on two counts.  First the motherhood protection instinct is the the strongest bond we have in animals and humans.  To ignore that is rare.  Secondly women don't like mess, they use poison, drowning, smothering, not guns, knives or bloody deaths. To have such a violent act for vengeance sake is just very rare, in women.

We know now that the memorial will take place at mom's church.  The women's league will not be able to help us due to covid restrictions, but we can use the kitchens and the hall after the funeral.  So Lil sis and I will leave here next Wednesday and go to Missoula to get things ready and make plans.  The babies are to be cremated. 

Thank you to all who have said or are praying on our families behalf.  There is great strength in prayer and I know we have been sustained by this.

Life is moving on, and we have to move on with it. My daughter hit the nail on the head when she said, It was in my mind every minute, now it is every 10 minutes. The horror is all consuming, and I want it to go away. I want to hug my grandbabies, and enjoy my loved ones and have a nice dinner.

I don't want to think about funeral plans, but I know the burden of this will fall on us three girls.  Travis does not have parents to rely on and my folks are deceased. The Aunts  (us)(bossy ) will move in and set the world to rights as much as possible. It is a lousy, big task.  If Travis had his way we would have been there yesterday. But we will do our best.  Calling on family and close friends to help with this burden. So many questions, none which I can answer.

So today I have to get these things done, I can't beleive I am this far behind.

1. make stuffing and stuff bird put in fridge for tomorrow

2. make small oyster stuffing for hubs

3. cut up sweet potables and get those ready for reheat tomorrow

4. figure out relish tray and get things ready for tomorrow

5. make pie crusts ( no still have not done this)

6. make 4 pies, apple, 2 pumpkin,1 something else

7. make cheese ball

8. Make rolls tomorrow

9. replace zipper in a pair of pants and take in two pairs of pants for Kelsa (the bean)

I am and will get this done, what to do first is the only thing.  Probably get the giblets started and do the pie crusts.

Thanks so much for everything, your support means everything to me.

Kim

20 comments:

  1. Your sisters and you are the matriarchs and of course will do what can be done to help your nephew. I know nothing will feel like enough as how can anything be enough to help ease his pain. But if you can ease his burden, that will go far. Absolutely, love on your grandchildren, be there for your children when they need that physical and mental health boost and a break from the good stress of parenting, but stress none the less.Prayers are still coming and will not stop.

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    1. Oliver is here and such a joy and a comfort. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving my friend.

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  2. The more I learn from you, the angrier I get. Your poor nephew has to be beside himself with grief and anger. No punishment is enough for her.
    Agree, you are the matriarchs of the family and it usually falls that way. HUGS

    Keeping busy is good. Sounds like you have much to do tomorrow and the next few days - keeping you busy and occupied. I send love and blessings to you and yours.

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    1. It was nice to finally get something done yesterday and feel some what normal. Have a great Thanksgiving.

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  3. This stinks! I cannot even think about two of my grandchildren being slaughtered by one of their parents. This is a heavy burden, but a burden of love that no one will forget. Working will help your minds do something else other than dwell on this all the time. Okay, I am bawling and I suppose Tommy thinks I am crazy.

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    1. It's a tough situation, but getting busy has helped.

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  4. My three sisters and myself are the matriarchs, too. We would step up for the family, that’s what we (women, mostly) do. I wish you and your family a peaceful heart in the days to come.

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    1. YEs that is us. The witches of Endor or the bossy Aunts.

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  5. I missed your post on Monday and was so shocked when I read it. My heart goes out to your family, I am holding back tears as I type.

    I think I am going to go to my prayer corner, light two candles for the little ones and a third and fourth one for your family and nephew.

    (((Hugs)))

    May God keep you all in his loving arms.

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    1. Thank you so much Jackie, prayers send a healing balm to all of us.

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  6. Continued prayers. I cannot begin to imagine. The only thread to hold onto is that they are safe with Jesus. But You poor family.

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  7. (((((Kim)))) We are here anytime you need to talk or let off steam. We will be keeping you in good thoughts and prayers for strength and comfort in the coming days.

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    1. I am feeling better today and trying to concentrate on Thanks giving and the joy we all still share. I feel a little guilty, but the dark days ahead with the planning and execution will be hard.

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  8. Sending continued good thoughts to you & your family. As you said, make sure you are taking care of yourself during this incredibly difficult time, taking moments to appreciate your grandkids & your sisters & the ability to help out your nephew during what has to be the hardest moments of his life. Big hugs coming to you.

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  9. Kim, your family have been in my thoughts and prayers so much the last few days. This month marks 2 years since we lost the step-son and his baby mamma. Still do not understand. Even though mental illness is to be blamed, it is so hard to find understanding and acceptance. Helping your nephew will help you and your sisters heal also. Love, prayers and hugs.

    Mearlynn/Busted&Disgusted

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  10. Just still shaking my head Kim ... words fail me today I'm afraid but am thinking of you & sending many prayers, thoughts & love for all of you.xx

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  11. Happy Thanksgiving Kim.
    Continued prayers for you and your family. Yes, we all need to remember to hug our loved ones a little more every day.

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