Tuesday, Where do I begin?

     Do you ever feel over whelmed?  I know at times I am overwhelmed with my feelings about our debt.  There is nothing I can do instantly about it.  It is not like I can snap your fingers and have it gone.  There is no unknown relative out there to( out of the blue) leave you a fortune.  You will not win the lottery because you do not play.  How does one overcome the little monster in your head that tells you that you will never get out?  He usually visits you late at night when you should be sleeping.  Or he paralyzes you while you are trying to pay your bills.

     However he is your good buddy when is comes time to shop. He usually encourages you to shop or spend because you deserve it.  He whispers sweet nothings in your ear at the grocery store.  You get on line to just look because it calms your soul and he whispers, " you can afford this."  He convinces you that the price is so good you should not pass it up.  You waste valuable time dreaming of things you don't need and don't really want to begin with.

     Now maybe those of you out there don't have a debt monster like I do.  Some times my debt monster and my inner brat get together to party.  My inner brat is lazy.  She knows there is plenty of work to do and the house is a mess.  She knows that I need to plan dinner and get meat out of the freezer, but she swoops in and I find myself unprepared so the debt monster whispers," go out".  My inner brat keeps me occupied as my debt monster paralyzes me.  Together they cause me to waste time.  Time I could use to get things done , to earn money, to improve my situation.  These situations, are financial, mental and physical.

     When these two buddies get together, the house is a wreck, the beds are unmade, dinner is not cooked, the shop becomes overfull, I waste time doing things I don't need to do.  I stop caring about myself.  My self esteem and confidence go out the window.  Debt monster, tells me I will never get out.  Inner brat tells me that trying to get out by working and staying organized is just to much work. I start to feel helpless and hopeless.

      One of the runner rugs in the hallway upstairs has been turned over on top of the other so I can start cleaning the floors and sweep the hall.  Why am I telling you this?  Because  I started the hall 3 weeks ago.  So we have been tripping over this rug since the second week in August.  Inner brat loves this and every day that passes she gets stronger.  So where do I begin?

     Hmmmmmm.  This is a tough one.  If I move the rug inner brat will get nervous and start to growl.  She might even wake up debt monster.  

     The only thing I have found to beat these two good buddies, is to make a list.  Inner brat hates lists.  She might even go hide if I make one.  She might take debt monster with her.

SO.......I will go pull a lb of burger out of the freezer and start the list.

     1. clean myself up ( as in get out of pj's, brush teeth, get dressed and put on some makeup and maybe brush hair)
     2. Make bed and straighten master bed and bath
     3. clean spare room and bath
     4. Move rug that has sat for three weeks and also move it's partner to the front room and sweep and vacuum.
     5. feed the mother while I do the above.
     6. get my butt into the shop and get to work.

     Inner brat hates a clean environment ad debt monster does not want me to earn money.  I am going to convince them to take a vacation together.  IT might be just for today.  But as they teach you in those 12 step programs just for today counts.  Just for today is enough.

Have a great and productive day, stay positive while you are in the negative.

Kim