Monday, July 6, 2020

Monday, So much stress, but relief on horizon

     I have been trying to live the schedule we will be living in the near future, by sewing three days a week and then driving to Spokane and staying for 4 days and then coming back to sew.  Realize that I will be sewing in my Sisters dining room when we actually have to be out of the house.  People have been really nice on the phone and I just explain what is going on.  However I had 4 phone calls and 3 clients with in a 1/2 hour period right at 10 this morning when I open.  To say I am busier is an understatement.

     Monday -Wednesday have been very busy here.  It is not just the sewing but the influx of clients.  Also last week I had a really hard time when I got back just adjusting to what had to be done next.  When I sew through out the week I keep a pretty good tally on what is next.  Coming back after 4 days and I was like, "What, where do I start?"  This made me realize that I have to really be organized (not my strongest suit, Sissy got that gene) and make sure I know what I need to start on right away on Monday's.

     Last Wednesday when I left I set things out in the order that I have to get them done. I did not want to relive the panic I had last week figuring out where to start knowing I only had three days to complete many items. I have to admit though I don't want to that I had a slight panic attack on my way up to Spokane last Wednesday evening.  There was a dead deer on the side of the road in broad daylight and I told myself I needed to watch for deer.  Where we live in the west we all know that high alert is necessary for these poor creatures, but even with that many cars are totaled and many animals killed.  It is just something we live with. No big deal this was just a one time trip up right?  NO this was every week perhaps for months.  Also add the winter driving and the slick roads and the deer on a weekly basis.  I actually had to pull over because I could not breath.

     I pride myself on being a Stoic, able to handle just about anything that is thrown my way.  I am very pragmatic, but just the thought of having to do this for weeks on end threw me. Can I do this?  Well of course I can my pragmatic self told me.  But my real brain went into a nose dive.

     Before I left on Wednesday Hubs and I had been fasting and praying about the house.  The only real down side to the house was we would have to borrow or take money out of our investments.  This is money we saved for fun and travel and toys and perhaps a cabin.  Even without me sewing we have more than enough to pay our bills. Sewing has allowed me to get out of debt and pay off our house much faster than we would have just living on our income.  Hubs has retirement, his SSI and my disability income which pays for my insurance and meds.

segue:      I forgot to tell you guys (like I have this fan base just waiting for any news, *snort*) when I went to the doctor (specialist) last week I am in remission!  I have not hit remission status for over 9 years.  those were lovely words to hear.  I have fought for this for a long time.  I was doing well but still not remission numbers and then with mom and her death I took a nose dive into the dark waters of RA.I wish I could say what triggers this disease to jump and flare, but I can't.  I just know it is always lurking ready to spring.

     When I arrive in Spokane I called Hubs and we decided to put in a offer on the house we both liked.  He liked it much better than I did, but I was satisfied with it.  We offered less than they were asking and just hoped for the best.  After 36 hours we found out our offer was accepted.   So we have a house.  Not the house I would have chosen, not the place in town I would have even thought about buying, but I am happy, Hubs is happy.  It is a beautiful place.  2430 Seaport drive Lewiston Idaho.  Don't be shocked at the price we did no
t pay that.

     So I am taking care of Schmills and we are having a good time.  Doing a little cooking, cleaning, sewing for new baby, taking the dog for walks, just enjoying the grandma thing and all of a sudden my damn right wrist decides it is going to go bonkers.  I had not been doing anything to aggravate it.  Not over doing anything, like painting, or scrubbing, it just blew.  I thought well take some ibuprofen and it will release.  NO! it clamped up and I could hardly open or close my hand.  I went to bed just sure that it would be gone in the morning.  No!  I had to admit that this was a flare and a bad one at that. I still had to drive to B's (youngest) and finish her nursery, with one hand and not my dominate hand.  This does not sound like someone in remission.   I was devastated.

     Now you can have a joint flare and still be in remission, you just have to be conscience of what could have caused the flare.  The only thing I could blame it on was stress. Just this new schedule and driving back and forth, not knowing, fear, angst, trying to do too much in the three days I am home.  Just not being able to relax.  I took more ibuprofen when I left for B's on Saturday and by the time that I got there my wrist was okay.  I have not had a problem since.  This alone told me we had made the right decision.  Stress is a big source of this disease.  I will always have stress, but knowing that I can eliminate some of it, (moving is stressful) by having a place to go helps.

     Sluggy do you still love me?

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.

Kim


36 comments:

  1. Congrats on your new home! It's beautiful and a huge plus that nothing is behind you :-) safe travels. My Dad hit a deer and a 6m old steer when I was a kid-I luckily never have but always see a body when we're driving Idaho highway 55.

    Cheers to your new home!

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    1. thanks Elle, was there open range because then he bought the steer and the meat would have been no good.

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  2. Congratulations! And also so happy to read you are in remission! I know about stress and anxiety, and I wish I could give you a hug!

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  3. Whoo Hoo! Things are falling into place.

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  4. Congrats on the new home. It's lovely and that view is amazing :)

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  5. Congrats on a new home. Sometimes we have to decide which is more important. You did. Home vs. travel and fun - doesn't mean neither can happen - but a home is always a home. Happy for you.

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    1. Thanks Cheryl, I feel good about the decision. Better every day in fact. Just with the stress of the unknown gone is a big help.

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  6. I am glad you found something that makes you happy.Now you can quit stressing about where to live. I have always heard it is best to never fall in love with a house, so that when it is time to leave it, it's easier. I have never loved a house we lived in. They have all been fine and I imagine the next one will just be fine too. Fine suits me perfectly well.

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    1. Of course I went and looked at the pictures. It is a lovely house and has lots of counter space for a cook like you are!

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    2. I know and a counter where the grand kids can sit and lick the batter. I have a counter now where my kids asap while I cooked and I don't have to give that up. Yippee! I was not going to fall n love with a house either, after what I saw my mother go through, I said I will never let that happen to me.

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  7. What helped is that you did realize that schedule was not going to work for you! It would have been a killer, maybe literally. I will relay a little back history. I've not always done well with money, in fact terribly not well but now am much more stable, out of debt and wanting to find the middle ground of enjoying my family, grandkids, and the fruits of my labor. But not over spending as before. I grew up in a family where money and spending were not talked about and to be honest my parents were thrifty to the point of stingy. I identified this more and more as I was out of the house. (This is really not about me feeling jilted :) ). I remember my dad saying once about a relative who was coming for supper (who had flown a couple thousand miles and was then driving out from our city) "you can always expect .... to expect a free meal every couple of years!!!" My dad died in his 50's, my mom had plenty of $ with her SS/his full railroad pension. She moved to a small apartment, bought only day old bread, was so excited to find out when she accidentally picked up the classic movie station on her TV (probably from a neighbor, she would never had paid for it!) sorry this is getting so long, there is nothing wrong with day old bread but hope the true message is getting through. Enjoy your life, my mom died at 70 and that hoarding/scrimping was for nothing. Congrats on your new home. I'm sure you will love it.

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    1. I truly understand. My in laws are very cheap, not frugal cheap and they have scrimped and saved for nothing. They are both 92 and home bound. My mother on the other hand gave me no money insight and was not thrifty but kind of a user. She would live off us girls and give to my dead beat brothers. I had to learn to be thrifty the hard way. You are right that schedule would have killed me.

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  8. Hi Kim. I love the new home you are purchasing. That looks really nice. I hope all goes well with the move. Sounds like you have planned your finances really well. My husband and I are about your age. My husband is retiring this year. I need to teach 6-7 more years. Not really looking forward to going back to the classroom with this virus, but I'm not ready to call it quits either. We need my income and health insurance. Have a good week. You sound super busy.

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    1. Thanks Deb. Yes that health insurance keeps more people working. I was lucky to have a Husband that worked for the state allowing me to become him in tier beys and keep his great state insurance. I worry about people going back to teaching.

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  9. I am confused. Maybe it is because I am ill right now, but why are you spending four days away from home for such a long time? The house looks great!

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    1. Helping my daughters, and getting a schedule in place for my clients. I have two babies due and I will be out of town with them for at least a week to 10 days each. They are close together so that means a lot of time away. Now add a move on top. Yikes!

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  10. It’s a beautiful home and location- I think all gravel and rock will make for easy lawn care.
    I’m no doctor, but could your flare also be caused by just doing too much?

    I’m happy y’all have a new home!

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    1. Yes, but I really was not over doing. It was a stress. The flare shocked me. Well it shocked me into reality.

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  11. I have closet envy (easy since I have NO closets at all) I doubt if I would be in the house with that view from the deck ... Can't wait to see how you decorate it and make it your own. Driving over 30 miles flares up my sister's RA and my CP in my wrists.

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    1. Wow maybe that is what did it as it is a 200 miles round trip at least. Yes the closet is great. I have never had one before.

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  12. I think your copper ware will look nice in that kitchen. And since it has an rv pad I now need to buy an rv to come stay with you. 8-)
    Still love you too.

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    1. I am so happy. We are going to get a hot tub as it has a pad and a hook up already. So you and Kay can drink wine and sit in the tub and look at the view. We are going to have so much fun. Me at your place on the beach. You with us in the mountains.

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    2. Sluggy, when I finally find and buy the rv I am lusting for I will stop and pick you up. We can go see Kim together!

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  13. Congratulations on the house! It is beautiful,t and I love the view of
    the river and the mountains.
    Great news about the remission, and I hope with less stress that you won't have a flare.
    Hope all goes well with your daughters and grandbabies.Excitung times.

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    1. I know, it is like can anything else happen in August? A major move and babies.

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  14. The house is beautiful, Kim! So happy for you! Congrats!

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  15. Your new home is stunning! I love it. Congratulations on remission too. And yes, you definitely do have a fan base!

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    1. Thanks Lisa, I am so excited but scared to death about the work. Yikes!

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  16. Congrats on the house - those views are beautiful! It must be a relief to have made the decision.

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  17. Ony just seen your post about buying your new house. It looks like a house with a really nice atmosphere and feel to it. A happy house!
    May you two be really happy there.
    J.P. in the UK

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