I took B up to the University, it is a 25 minute drive away or 30 miles from here. We had to accomplish several goals.
1. Get health insurance waiver straightened out
2. Put up advertisements for room mates all over campus
3. Check on apartment
4. Check Ross for things to make a duvet cover for bed. (Moscow is a lot colder than here)
5. Check on Jobs she has applied for on line
We did id all! A nice lady finally helped us get the waiver done although we have been working on it for months. This is my third child through college and they make this an impossible nightmare every semester. If you finally get it right they kind of leave you alone. But they really want that $712.00 a semester for health insurance even though the child does not need it. All sorts of tricks are played on the student to make them think they did this and in the end even though they may have filled out the request 3-4 times it is not done or accepted. Enter the Mother from Hell. (Me) It was worth the 30 minute drive and 1/2 a day of my time for $712.00.
Put up ads in 5 main buildings.
Saw apartment it is cute.
Found two sets of sheets to make a king size duvet for a warm bedspread.
B went down to several stores and started to check with managers and one was so excited to see her he said he was just about to call her and the main manager would be flying in on Saturday. Could she come for an interview early Sunday. I am not to excited about a Sabbath interview, but I am taking an ox in the mire approach to this.
Yippee! All done!
We were home by 2 and I checked e-mail our new truth in lending was ready at CU to lock our refinance rate at 3.37%. I grabbed Hubby as he came in the door and off we went to sign and LOCK the rate. When we got there they asked us to close on Friday! Yeah! I am not sure if it is a 10 or a 15 year it is almost 2 points lower for the 1st mortgage and .62 lower for HELOC it also locks the HELOC which was on a variable, scary! I plan to continue paying as we have done in the past and we are not changing anything as far as outgo is concerned it just locks us at a lower rate. I will not feel truly relaxed about this until it is done. But I am so glad they are finally done asking stupid questions and we are moving on this.
Out My Window: Came home yesterday, watered, flowers, chickens and garden. Picked a huge strainer full of green beans, several small zucchini, and yellow squash. Found a small cucumber started! and DRUM ROLL PLEASE. My first cherry tomato RIPE! I am sorry to say I popped it in my mouth immediately. So good sweet, warm a real tomato flavor. Soon I will be making tomato, cucumber and onion salad for dinner. Also cabbages are coming on!
Still struggling with D#2. She has really made a mess of our finances in the last few months. Not on purpose and we let her. But this schooling and exam schedule and licensing has been a nightmare. We have born the brunt of it. Our oldest said she had the same issues, but Law school is different in the fact that the students are trusted and can take out their own loans and Bar loans to pass tests, live and pay for test and license and exam fees. She said about $7000.00, I had no idea. But D#2 is in a trade tech school and that makes a huge difference to the government and the loan people. Hense the parent plus loans and all of the money afterward. She is paying back $267.00 worth of parent plus right now and has added almost $5000.00 more to our expenses. ( I have not blogged about this too painful) We cut her off and she is angry scared and frustrated, with life and with us. But I want to get out of debt and she is pulling us down farther. I know she will pay it back, but she has to stop and make good decisions now. She did not need to move out right now and she spends what I would call foolishly when she is using my money. Or let me put this another way my credit! So we put a stop to it.
Have any of you other parents had to come down hard on your kids?
We will be much harder financially on D#3 (no Parent Plus loans)
Have a great and productive day!
Kim
I haven't been on your end of this yet (my son is only 13), but I was the kid who drained her parents for years. A few times, my parents tried to get involved in my finances in an effort to quit shelling out money, but they have their own lives and couldn't focus on it all the time.
ReplyDeleteIf they had ever once told me, "We will not help you anymore unless you make X and Y changes and STILL run into trouble," I probably would have stopped the foolish spending a lot sooner. I don't blame my parents at all for my stupid mistakes, but at times I think they enabled me to keep doing it because I knew they would bail me out.
I have not taken out any plus loan since my sons freshman year of college(which he paid back already). I love my children BUT I can not and will not go into debt for them.
ReplyDeleteThis includes rent, school loans, or anything else. I will not let them starve but I can not sink because of them and they all know this. That is why they all have worked during the summer or on campus during the school year. Its hard but you have to put your foot down.
good luck
Judy
My parents co-signed my loans when I went to college at 17. They paid the interest on them while I was in school. I graduated in May 1996, and they handed me all the coupon books and said "we didn't go to school....your problem."
ReplyDeleteWhen I paid off my Student loan #2 in May, that was the last of my loans with my parents. It took me 15 years to pay them off...which included a loan my father did that had over 10% interest!!! The remainder of my student loans is from graduate school.
My parents didn't help me after college...not with setting stuff up, not with my first place. Not with my wedding.
They have helped with clothes for my kids....
But in the end, I think they took an extreme approach. I am not saying that they should have funded my education completely....but maybe a little help would have been nice. I was 20 when I graduated!!!
I think my anxiety comes from the fact that I rec'd no help in college or after. We did have to go home and live for a year with a new baby, but I cleaned the house cooked paid $200.00 a month bought all of the food. I really tried to be helpful. Our home life was such a mess with my father's drinking and a brother who was very drug addicted. My mother just kind of shut down and went into survival mode. She concentrated on herself. She was NO help we could barely get her to fill out school loan papers. If fact she didn't one year. She couldn't pay her own bills let alone any of ours. Just absolutely no support. So I wanted to give my kids what I could not have. But I think this is back firing.
ReplyDeleteWe laid out to our oldest 2 exactly what we would contribute to college long before they started applying. It was a substantial amount we have put aside, but won't cover it all. They also were told we don't cosign loans...period.
ReplyDeleteThey knew beforehand where they stood and they KNOW that their parents do what they say. Thus 1 kid decided on the less expensive school and passed up the school that would have left her with massive debt, even tho it was her 1st choice. She decided paying off loans for 20 yrs. and living a meager existence because of the debt wasn't worth the prestige of that expensive school's diploma.
Most 18 yr old has NO CLUE about the true cost of college. That was brought home last week when I had a talk with my nephew who will be a senior in high school this year. He got a bigtime reality check about money from me!lol
In the end, both my college students will end up paying a bit to finish school so they work fulltime in the summer to cover that. I think kids who are responsible for at least part of their educational expenses are more apt to appreciate and work harder for that degree.
If our kids have learned anything growing up in this house is that everyone is expected to live within their means....we do and they need to adopt that philosophy from the beginning. Hopefully they can avoid most financial trouble living that way.
OTOH, if my kids get into a rough patch....homeless, can't avoid to eat, need a place to stay for the short term, a small informal loan, help with something unexpected....they know we are there for them to figure out a solution.
great job on doing it all!!!!
ReplyDeleteKim,
ReplyDeleteIt's a tragedy of what college costs and the banks evil student loans. Plus loans are better than most, but can really hurt your finances. Bottomline is that you have to take care of yourself first. If you are not saving for retirement, then there is no money for child's education...unless of course child wants to take care of you in retirement.
I was fortunate with my older daughters. I had the cash to pay for 1/2 of their in state tuition schools. Their father (my ex) paid the other half.
My younger two may not be so lucky. I will not allow them to take any Plus loans, only FAFSA. We will try to pay as much as we can without hurting our future, but the sad truth is that they may have to go local for the first two years. And that is okay. They will survive.
You did the right thing. You need to protect your own finances. They are young and have time to pay off their student loans, as long as they don't get in over their heads.
Don't feel bad, feel empowered. You are right here.
So far I haven't incurred any debt for my daughter. I helped her pay half of her tuition the first 3 years of university from my savings. But now she's paying 100% of her tuition.
ReplyDeleteHOWEVER, (there's always a however isn't there?)SHE is going into debt over things like clothes, makeup, eating out, concerts etc. I accidentally saw her Visa bill a while ago and it had over $600 of new charges all related to "stuff". She paid $50. The balance is around $3500. She is paying her own tuition and she is in charge of her finances but I am afraid for her and her debt habit.