Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Tuesday, beyond frustration, laughter, my future?

     Hello, I missed all of you and hope that your summer is going well.  I can see that many are traveling and it looks like a good time.

     Arrived home from mom's at midnight Sunday.  The truck is full of old furniture for B's ( daughter #3) apartment.  It was a a wild week let me tell you.  My emotions took a real hit a few times and it was so hard.  I spent Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, cleaning and removing everything from the house that mom would allow me to put in a yard sale.  If she wanted to save it I packed it up and labeled the box.  It was hard dusty dirty work.

     She has a dug out cellar with shelves and it is now empty except for a washer and dryer.  There is also the Christmas room.  I was not allowed to touch the Christmas room.  Hee, Hee I saved that for my sisters who by the way read the blog.  Feel the love!  Crawling through old closets and pulling crap out that I swear has not been looked at in 30 years or more.  The worst was an old 8x12 shed in the back yard, with box after box filled to the ceiling and into the rafters. There were three bath chairs in there.  Why 3?  Toys and clothes from when my brother's were little.  They are now 48 and 53 so we can save them right?  The closets in this 150 year old monstrosity are all under the eves with long unfinished boards and cubbyholes.  It was so fun. I think my knees are permanently stained dirty.

     Now I have a garage that has save boxes in a huge stack and sell boxes.  I was not allowed to touch the formal front room, her room, or the kitchen.  The only thing I can say, I am proud of is that the pile for the yard sale was much bigger than the pile for the house.  I also took a full load to the dump and a full load to good will before the sale.

     On Wednesday I had a pod delivered and put in the driveway.  So Wednesday was carrying boxes out of the garage and into the pod.  Then gathering tables and setting up the sale.  I knew we would not make a lot of money, but we would get rid of so much stuff and it would go to other homes. Like tools, boxes of nails, picture frames, knick knacks, camping gear, shovels, rakes, fans, heaters, small tables, mirrors, lot's of dad's old books.  We sold an old canopy bed.  Now mom is living in a place between reality and nonsense.  She knows the house is sold, but because she is still living there surrounded by her stuff she does not have to really believe.  So the pod in her driveway is reality.  She was vomiting and so sick all day Wednesday.  This is how she handles stress.  My Aunt came over and helped me put things out for the morning.  Mom was as grouchy as an old bear.

     Mom always sleeps very late but she was up at the crack of dawn ( we call it the butt crack of dawn at our house)prowling through the sale taking stuff back in the house.  Every time she picked something up I would tell her I was putting it on her tab.  Then I would go in and find where she squirreled it and put it back outside in a different place. This went on for two days.  People were stopping by that had no idea she had sold the house or that she was moving.  She is very well known in this community.  She never told a single soul she was moving in with me and she told everyone she did not want to have this yard sale.  Although she thought the sale was a great idea until I started moving things onto the front lawn.  So once again I was the bad guy.

     After the sale was over about 2 p.m. Friday. I took another load to the landfill and two more loads to goodwill.  I cried most of the day Friday.  Mom was so awful to me.  My eyes were all swollen and sore.  I think it was just a combination of physical exhaustion, her mean comments, and her favoritism to my younger brother that got to me.  I also made several trips to my younger brother's house who lives two blocks away.  Not once did he offer to come over and help but his wife called several times with all the nice things she wanted out of the house.  Situation normal.  Give, give to the boys, beat the girls up.  My brother is frantic about this move because his cash cow is leaving.  We also will not allow her to give him large sums of money, which he is now trying to wheedle out of her so he can start over.  In order to start over you have to start once.  Something he has never done.  Having my younger sister in charge of her finances was a good thing

I will continue this saga tomorrow, as I have a mess of work to do in the shop and yesterday was a bomb.

Have a great and productive day!  Glad to be back.



  1. Oh Kim....I am sorry Mom wasn't being nice. Maybe things will be better when it is all settled.

    If it makes you feel any better, yesterday's conversation with my brother ended with him saying "mom and dad wouldn't live with you....they don't like you." So true!

  2. Just keep your head down and soldier through what needs to be done.
    This sort of thing is never fun.

  3. Love your blog...all the way from Northern Ireland. A difficult time for you but you are strong and will get all done.

  4. Boy, this is universal with elderly parents. When I was moving my Mom out of her home of 35 years (Dad was deceased) and into a condo, it was the same story. I couldn't even toss a 40-year-old magazine. Finally, I began pitching things when Mom was asleep or hiding stuff in my car trunk to haul away. She didn't miss a thing. I know it's not easy for them, though. Hear ya' on the brother. My brother in town ( I actually had come from Calif to Wisconsin to do this) hardly did a thing. I packed every single box, moved 90% in my car and unpacked every single one. All I could think of was not one darn thing had changed since our childhood.

  5. I am sorry you are going through this also. Right now we are at a similar stage with Mom, but we are not moving her out of her house, just trying to organize things after Dad's recent death. She gets rid of things I thought she would keep forever but can't part with some of the oddest things.

  6. Kim, you are a saint. I feel bad that she was mean to you. I don't like your brothers but your sisters are so sweet.