Well I knew it would happen eventually. Little Sis and mom had a blow out. Mom is hard and sis has no patience and a sharp tongue. I go with the "Sometimes Silence is the answer" method most often with mom. " Or least said soonest mended". You don't always have to be right and you can still just back down, but sis will not take her crap. Let's just say I am much more patient.
I also think trying to go through mom's things is upsetting to her. She feels she is loosing control and she gets grouchy. Sis thinks she should be grateful, but it is hard to grateful when you see your things being given away. Mom is old and crotchety. I have been so busy sewing and trying to catch up and with the babies coming I need to stay caught up. I have police uniforms coming in like crazy.
In the mean time the garage full of boxes and furniture is slowly finding new homes. I have also been forced to clean out boxes and boxes of old taxes and crap. Between mom and I we had 11 staple removers. Why? Beats me. But just so many duplicates. Every room has boxes and crap every where and now we need to find places to store this stuff. She is donating a lot to her church yard sale which is great. I have to once again redo the linen cabinet as she has so many nice things and I know she wants to keep them and I also will re clean the desk area. We have several things we are taking to daughter and that will help.
I even made more room in the garage. I am making Hubs put up two more shelving units for food storage in the basement so I can get the flour and sugar out of the garage. Right now food is stored on a very narrow bookcase and I want something deeper. I cannot believe the things we have thrown away. It is amazing and so liberating. Now if I can just get mom to get rid of some of her piano music we can have another closet. I will keep at her. It is a work in progress.
This morning Sis had a eye appointment to get new glasses. We were hurrying out the door at 10 a.m. to get her there. Mom was not going. Then she was going. She had not taken her meds , had not combed her hair. She was in no way ready to go and I wanted her to stay home. But hell if she would. So I get her in the car with her rooster hair and we had not driven 5 blocks and she asks if there is a bag in the car as she is going to be sick. Mom if you didn't feel good why are you with us? I have nothing in the car except and large diet coke from Mc D's that is watered down from the night before. I pull over in a bank lot so she can open the door and I grab the Mcd's cup but I can't get the tight lid off it and finally I smash it against the floor boards and it bursts open all over the side of the seat and me but at least she has a vessel. Now I take sis to her appointment and have to sit with a sick mom. She just makes things so difficult.
I am fricken sore and exhausted from lifting and moving crap and cleaning this out. I just want it done. Hub's is also getting grouchy and I don't blame him. Everywhere you turn there is a pile of boxes and tchotchkes.
This too shall pass. I am tired and have another long day of it tomorrow. I just want my house back.
Have a great and productive day
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"I just want it done."
ReplyDeleteI can echo this sentiment in regards to my bathroom.....sigh.
I will get there and so will you.
Maybe I'll go clean something out today in your honor. ;-)
Oh, I know it can be tough. I honestly think that you and your mother will find a routine. I know from experience with my sweet Mom that it is really hard to give up a home and feel that you are losing control of your life. Giving up even the smallest possession represents a little more loss of independence and autonomy. So glad you are patient. It will get better. Just try to remember how hard it is for older people to be facing the end of their lives with so many hard changes.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. I am living a similar situation and can empathize with you. It is not easy for anyone, your mom, husband or you. I wish I had the answers but, like you, I muddle through one day at a time.
ReplyDeleteI don't mention it on my blog but my mother-in-law has lived with us the last 18 years and is slowly driving us crazy. My adult son has NO patience with her and she's pretty manipulative, so yay us!
ReplyDeleteSo I feel what you're going through...
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Like you say "it's a work in progress". Some folks have great patience with the elderly and some don't. Right now I would predict that MY daughter won't have much patience with me but time will tell. I surely understand about the clutter and I was going to suggest a yard sale but I see your mom is donating to a church sale. That's a good start.
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