Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Wednesday,Adult children ( Sluggy and Jane)

     For those of you on the same circuit and there are quite a few of us, I thought I would address the theme of adult children living with their parents.

     Like Jane I have seen myself and brothers and sisters return home to my parents and in some cases it worked out and fulfilled a much needed service.  In the case of my brothers it was a disaster in a never ending cycle of enabling and abuse. Dynamics are different in different families.

     Even with clear cut rules things can go wrong.   But I truly believe that we are put on this earth in families so we can bear one another's burdens.  I think the parent child relationship is sacred and only they can decide what is right and necessary.  I hate that my brothers use my mom, I do everything I can to stop her from helping them, but she lies, sneaks and maneuvers to do it anyway.

     I have had adult children move back home for short periods of time.  It was rough.  It was not so much the financial as the mess they created.  Right now I have three daughters that are all very self sufficient.  That may not always be the case.  My home is open to them should they need a soft place to land.  Would it disrupt my plans and my life?  You bet!  Would I allow it?  You bet!

     I think Jane's daughter living with her is great.  She contributes, is caring and loving never married and this is how things have always been in our society.  The idea that a kid leaves home at 18 never to return is just ludicrous.  I also see in Sluggy's case that having a daughter return to finish school is a great idea.  Now is there going to be smooth sailing always?  No we are talking Sluggy here.:)  But under that stern exterior lives a loving, kind, sensitive soul, who loves her children more than herself.  She might even learn to love the dog.  He will keep the deer out of the garden.

     We all have different ways of handling our families and our finances, but we all are together almost everyday blogging because we care about each other.  We can disagree and give advise, that is okay, but criticism on a destructive level is just mean.  Don't make me have to come and find you......

     On a different note, I am working hard to try and change some of the aspects of my busy life.   Change takes time and planning.  It is not always easy.   But stay tuned, I am sure by next year all my kids will be living with me and I will be in a nut house.  ( this is a joke)

     I only have one more prom dress to finish.  Yippee!  However I have a ton of other alterations to do.  So today will be busy as usual and I will live through it.

Have a great and productive day.



  1. Glad you have just one more dress to finish!

    I was surprised at the reactions to Sluggy's post. I didn't see her seeking approval, just mentioning what was happening. Lots of folks seemed to have strong reactions.

  2. I love that phrase - "a soft place to fall" - I think I heard it on the Dr. Phil show ages ago. I think that's it - when the chips are down then who else but the parents can provide that soft place? Or in your case, your mother. Thanks for adding your two cents - you always know the wise/right thing to say :)