Thursday, a different apporach

     Lil sis and I have completely different approaches on how we deal with our Mother.  Lil sis plays with mom.  She entertains her.  They play a dice game, they watch sappy TV.  They shop for crap food.  They eat out.  It is always entertainment with Lil sis.   This approach is fine and Lil sis does work full time, so her hours are limited.  She also does not have a husband or her children close.

     I try to keep mom busy.  I make her breakfast and lunch and dinner.  I try to get her up and moving.  I try to get her to plan her day.  What will we do today?  She loves to bake and cook and I help her to feel that she is accomplishing something.  Mom was a very active person who would come home from a full time job and strip and paper a room in the evening.  We girls get our work ethic from her.  No one wants to be useless.  Mom needs to feel useful. Sis does not agree.  She thinks I need to play with mom and give her my time.  I feel I do this as I wait on her hand and foot and I include her in on the things that I do.

     When I was making up the jam, mom was able to put seals and rings on the jars and wash them off as they came out of the bath.  She loved to count them and kept asking now how many did we do?  What kind is this?  How many of that kind?  She was thrilled to see the fruit processed.  She sat right down and opened a jar and ate two English muffins with jam.  She has become rather peckish.  She also sat out on the back deck in the shade and pitted cherries for a couple of hours.

     Mom's mother went blind before she died.  Back then they could do nothing about  eye degeneration, now they have shots to help prolong sight.  Grandma also was a busy work a holic and she would get very upset if one of use did something she could do.  If we hurried and made up a potato salad when she could have carefully cut up the things herself and stirred in the sauce.  She wanted to feel that she could do something useful.  I can tell mom feels the same way.

     Mom' CT scan is this afternoon.  So Lil sis wanted to take her out to dinner afterward to make her feel better.  Again here we spend money.  I cannot say no as Lil sis gets very upset when I don't appease her plans.  I opted for why don't we take mom to lunch before her appointment? This way it would be cheaper and once the appointment is over mom will feel better.  It is the unknown that scares her.  Mom's younger brother had some of the same symptoms mom is having and ended up with a large benign brain tumor. I think mom fears that.

       I think mom had a much more serious concussion than we thought.  I was not home when it happened.  My daughter felt mom needed to stay in the hospital and mom did not want to.  Of course Lil sis did not want her schedule disrupted either.  I am not placing blame here, just that things might have been different had I been home.  We can only wait and see  what the results are.  Mom was getting better but when they called to schedule the scan she immediately dissolved into a mess.

     So what do you think?  Am I wrong to think mom's want to be useful?  Should I be playing games and entertaining her all the time?


   I am waiting anxiously for monies  to come in and I will pay off that Quick lock loan.  Usually the money is in the bank on the 28th but of course this month it is late or later.  So aggravating when you are waiting to put to death a debt you have carried for over 6 years.  It will soon be gone. 

     Hub's and I finished placing the stones to re level the patio.  It was hard work.  Hub's just left for Home depot to get 50lb bag of sand to put in the cracks and that is one more large project off the list.

     I did not do much sewing yesterday as I was tired from being up all night with mom.  I need to get my but in gear.  Hubs and I did take a 5 mile walk last night and that was so nice.

Well I am off to hit my machines and do a little laundry.

Have a great and productive day!

Kim