Thursday, April 4, 2019

Thursday, Today I have to .....

     Today I have to live in my shop.  It is cold and dreary outside so that will make it easier for me.  When it is warm and sunny I struggle to stay in the basement and sew.  Even though my shop is large with a huge daylight window that brings in lots of natural sunlight.  The shop is a raging mess right now and I really have to pump some things out of there.

     I was able to get quite a bit of sewing done yesterday before I had to go teach and then I did hand work after I got home.  But is hardly looks like I touched the place, of course more items were coming in while I was pushing things out.

     Today it will be prom dresses and zippers.  I have at least 6 zippers to replace and that will get rid of a ranging pile of things. I have to keep track of which dresses are for which week of April and the first of May.  Crazy busy here.

     I know I should be more excited about it, but I really am having a moment or I should say many moments of I am tired of the struggle of paying things off.  I am tired of pushing myself to reach my goal.  I am so close, and yet I have never had so many moments of losing momentum.  I vacillate between go, go, go to just let this be over, I am so done.  I almost feel sick to my stomach when I think of how much longer it will take to pay off the house and will I get there before the end of the year?  My Sis thinks I should let up and not worry about it, but I made a goal and I hate not making that goal.

     Maybe it is because money is really tight this month and every dime I can scrape together will go to paying the rest of the months bills, plus I am worried about the summer.  With mom gone our Income is down $500.00 a month although there were many months that she lived with us that she spent every penny of that.  I took on a car payment and as I wanted 0 % interest, the payments were high.  I am paying $500.00 a month on that.  Then the studio will be paid for in May.  So the last $500.00 payment will be made.  I have a sense of relief over that, but it is also a chunk of change. Essentially I will be down $1500.00 a month compared to what I was last year at this time and it is hard to keep up with my dreams and goals.

     We have to rebark the yard and Home depot has their annual sale this week of 5 bags for 10.00.  So I need to squirrel away enough money for 25 bags of bark.  If I wait it is  almost $4.00 a bag. So we will go Saturday and load up even though we are not ready to lay the bark yet.  I want to take advantage of the sale. This huge yard is so much work and I tell myself to quit and try to sell the house and get into something smaller, but I want to pay it off first. Again with the goal.

     Sorry for my angst, I think I have just been working too hard lately and I let things start to bother me.  I need to remind myself that, I have a roof over my head, food to eat and clothes to wear.  I have a family that loves me (snort) and many friends that will aid me if needed, so I can quit with the stress and worry and just be.  Tell me to stop it.  I will make is one way or another. Maybe by the end of the year maybe a few months into the next year. And this too will be okay.

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative.

Kim

18 comments:

  1. Can't your husband take on some of the financial responsibility? I can't remember if he's working or what the situation is with him, but it would help a lot if he had some steams of income coming in.

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    1. No, that is a big NO. He is deaf, even with hearing aids he still has a hard time comprehending. He also has a Parkinson's condition, that he takes a medication for, essentially a downer to keep him from shaking so badly. Mostly his head and hands. Asking him to screw in a light bulb is a stretch. Although today he did replace the smoke alarm and the carbon dioxide alarm it took him most of the day. I just shake my head and let him putter.

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  2. I think it's harder to be upbeat when things are nasty outside. Hopefully things will improve all around soon.

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    1. You are probably right about that Kathy. Thanks for the reminder.

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  3. Take a deep breath and hang in there. You've got this!

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  4. Okay....Stop it. YOU GOT THIS! You always amaze me with all you do. God will provide. You know this.

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    1. I know but I want it now....... Ungrateful wench that I am.

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  5. I think you are doing a great job. You just put extra money to your mortgage. There is nothing wrong if you take a breather this month on it. Start again in May. At least you have a goal and are going for it. I know so many people that don't think about their future and only live for know. I don't know what they are going to do about retirement. They will be so broke, I hope their kids have room for them.

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    1. All of our children have really good jobs and seem to be smart about retirement, but I don't want to live with them:)

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  6. You are doing great!! Please don;t be so hard on yourself. If you have to skip a month of putting extra on the mortgage here or there ....you will get there. May is just around the corner. Try not to stress. Take care, Janie

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    1. Thanks Janie. I actually had a good day, bringing in enough to pay a couple small bills and get 15 bags of bark which is all that our truck would hold. I have enough to go and get 10 more bags on Saturday. So I feel better as I know I am making progress and it is only the 4th of the month. I am such a worrier.

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  7. Hang in there, Kim. I hope you have a very productive day and get tons of things done.

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    1. Thanks Belinda, I am better today. And I did get through a bit of sewing yesterday and took in some money, always lifts my mood.

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  8. Remember to put some joy first in each day. Coffee in a quiet room-anything that reminds you first why and what you're working towards. You got this.

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    1. One of the reasons I blog is to get away and I really enjoy the engagement. Thanks.

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  9. Okay... STOP... breath in ...hold... breath out... now just breath. SON 2 is one in finances he will tell you that you need a cushion to pay bills BEFORE paying extra on ANYTHING. Homes do not need to be paid off prior to selling actually if you are looking at selling he would definitely tell you to QUIT paying extra. He also got that opinion from 4 financial guys he talks to daily.

    I know the lady that does the military uniforms for son is constantly overworked, I can't imagine taking on wedding and prom etc on top of that... you might need to set aside one day that is "no fittings, drop off's" day like she does so she's not interrupted or block certain times for certain things.. Feel better...

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  10. Please do "STOP IT"!!!! You have done wonderful with your goals. If you are stressed out stop and take a breath. Stress is not good for your body. If you need to stop paying so much extra right now , do it. Then when you are able to pay more do it. You will get there and it doesn't matter when. I will pray for you my friend.

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