Thanks for well the well wishes, and realize that my brother is in Las Vegas and no where close to me. He cannot go back to Montana as there are several warrants out for his arrest. He has a permanent restraining order, keeps him from my mom and any family member, but those are only as good as the police that enforce them. Missoula would pick him up when they could find him and he would be in jail over night, get bailed or released and then right back at mother's madder than hell and even meaner. Mom gave up as all it did was make him more violent. Know also that he is brilliant and cunning and seems to have a sixth sense about getting caught. The only thing that really protects us is that my Husband would shoot him on sight if he comes on our property. There will be no second chances. I know this sounds harsh, but we have endured his nonsense for all our married life and I endured his crap all through high school and college. He has no where to go, no one will tolerate him, but he does call and badger mom for money. Since I am the one that has to drive her to get the money and then to the Western Union office, I also have to fill out the paper work and text the receiving #'s to him.
I get really angry with mom for allowing him bully me and also that she gives in, she just sent him 100 dollars last week for his birthday. I am sure I won't even receive a birthday gift. SO mom and I have words every time he calls. She screams and yells at me and I calmly tell her, if I have to be involved I will have my say and I don't approve. I tell her it hurts my feelings. She claims that we girls hate the boys, well yes because they are lazy pieces of crap and you have supported and favored them all our life. You pit us up against them, what do you expect? I will stand my ground about the unfairness. It makes her furious but I will NEVER back down. If I have to be involved she will hear my side.
I know it is not about me, but it hurts, to watch her dump money down my worthless brothers and she never ever helped us all the time the kids were growing up and we were very poor. Hubs wages were crap and I was working 4 and 5 jobs part time to try and stay home with the kids. She just turned a blind eye and was angry at me for not working full time somewhere and climbing the corporate ladder. I could have but I just felt that the kids were more important. She also was mad when ever I had another child. She was furious when I had the last one and I think she wanted to punish me. But youngest brother has 5 he can't support, and mom pays the child support monthly on his oldest two. She was mad tonight when I took her to the grocery store, where she bought orange juice, apples,($1.89 lb) sugar laden yogurt and her cost was $25.00. Sorry mom I won't buy things I don't normally buy, the stipend you begrudgingly give us, does not even cover your expenses. She will keep all this food down in her personal fridge.
I was able to get a lot done today in the shop. Picked up a few more things for the party, and cooked up all the ingredients to put in the quiches. I got in my exercise and made pork chops, potatoes, and veg for dinner.
Today I am having lunch with a friend, and I have more sewing to do. I will make crusts and bake quiches. We will have that for dinner along with a salad. I also have to take mom to Costco for some meds and will buy my fruit there for the fruit tray.
I will also try to deep clean both bedrooms and baths and dust and do floors in hall and living room. That way I will only have the kitchen and dining to do Friday. As I will be cooking in the kitchen it doesn't do much good to deep clean with mom touching and spilling as she goes.
Lil Sis is on the outs with me and I can't figure out why? But I will not condone her behavior in some ways either. I call crap, crap and when it comes to Mom I will protect her at all costs. I thought when Lil sis moved here, we would spend more time together and I would have a friend, but that isn't happening. Our life styles are too different. I don't think she even likes me very much. I am a convenience when she needs something. She does help with mom and for that I am forever grateful.
I have made significant progress on my debt totals which I will post tomorrow, I will be down two more bills by the end of the month and then can concentrate on the next one. Even with all of the chaos, I am moving forward.
Have a great and productive day,
Kim
Well, that is good to hear your dh would shoot him on the spot if he ever tried anything - I don't think it's harsh and was exactly what I thought when you said how he is and you have a restraining order. Can you block his # from your phone so you don't have to be subject to those texts? does the restraining order cover him contacting you in that way? I'd probably take my mom's phone and block his number without her knowing it and then he can't try to call her ha!
ReplyDeleteYou are a saint to take in your mother as you have, but she needs to be more grateful! Work on that guardianship!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you are safe at least physically. I think the fact that your husband carries a gun trumps carrying a big stick.
ReplyDeleteThis parent tending is a complicated thing. I told my sister about your term Momergencies and she loved it too, so we have used it a couple of times today already. I don't even begin to have any words of wisdom except to hang on and hope for whatever the best can be, will be. More than anything I wish you some much needed peace.
Thank you. Are you ever going to work on getting your mom out of her house or is she still able to live alone?
DeleteI am not sure what kind of phone your mom has but you need to put blocking software on it and block all calls but the numbers you allow. We have had to do that on my mil's after she was scammed out of money and they kept calling.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry things are working out with Lil sis...
Aren't families fun? I am going to block Bro's # but he will figure it out and call on another phone. I never thought of just allowing certain #'s in, good idea. Lil Sis has issues. She is going through a bad divorce and as the favorite child was never disciplined. So she can be quite sharp and selfish. But I love her any way:)
DeleteYou can have a judge extend the order to harassing communications. Block his number for calls and texts.
ReplyDeleteI think lots of mothers are hard on the girls and coddle or tolerate bad behavior from the boys. I have a theory on that based on sound studies.
At least your sister helps with your mother. Can you ask her what is the problem? I wish your twin lived near you.
It is too bad your mother does not love cleaning as much as she loves baking!
Sis has issues. I do not drink or smoke, she does both. I don't like smoking I think it is harmful to your health, but I can tolerate that as long as it is done outside. Every and I mean every man in my family was an alcoholic. Mom's dad died from alcoholism, all three of her brothers were severe alcoholics,my dad was an alcoholic. I can't think of one male figure growing up that did not have a problem. It really disturbs me that Sis drinks to much fairly often. It affects her mood and reasoning and then I get lambasted.
DeleteAll I can say is bless your loving heart. I hope you can take a nice long vacation to get a break soon.
ReplyDelete