Total meltdown last night between mother and hub's I had HAD it.!!!!!!
I know I need to be more patient and forgiving, and loving and Christlike. But I just can't right now. I am a work in progress and my progress is about the speed of Hub's deck building.
I had cut out a strip of lace edging from a $24.99 a yard piece of lace to trim this dance costume that I want out of my shop. I go to get it done Thursday afternoon and no lace piece. I looked and looked as it was just there. Of course mom is messing around in the shop and trying to iron (I have to sneak the pieces back and re iron them), she is trying to pick up scraps and I have asked her many times not to do this until my design work is finished as I may use something or have something set aside for a costume. I know she just wants to help and she is bored and wants to feel useful but she is not. She is in the way and as I have to redo almost everything she does she is really in the way.
So after tearing the shop apart and going through all the garbage, I have to go back to JoAnns and buy another $24.99 piece of fabric for trim that is missing. It isn't even the money it is the time. I screamed at Hub's about her and almost burst a blood vessel. Then I screamed at Mom about Hub's. I should never let myself get this out of control. It is not good for my health. This kind of stress can bring on a flare. Both wrists and hands are bad today. It is my fault for allowing myself to get so upset. Getting angry like that doesn't help. It won't make mom ;less annoying or Hub's faster, it just harms me. I have to work on this.
Got mom to the Chiropractor at 10:15 this morning and did not get home until 12:30. I did do hand sewing while I waited in the office. Then she had to go to the bank. This is where she goes in to get cash and sits at an officers desk and wastes their time and mine having them do things I could do. But she needs the attention of others. I would just go into the bank and get her money but she won't let me as then she can't waste my time. She came out with some BS story about how she my younger brothers child support had not been taken out of her account for the past several months. I immediately corrected her. They took it out in May as I saw the statement, and also $900.00 was sent to catch him up on his power bills as it had been turned off. And also it is only the 14th and the child support does not come out until the 24th. So of course it has not come out this month and did she have the banker go back into June? She was so made at me but I will call her on her BS every time. I take care of her and wait on her hand and foot, but the boys just get money for nothing. By the way is you have bum male relative get a hold of my mom she will send money. Okay, okay I am getting myself worked up.. She is just so cheap and selfish with Lil sis and I and does everything she can to not pay her way, so she can send money to the boys.
Raced home from her appointment as i had clients coming, and a bride. I have so much to do today. Just hemmed 6 pairs of pants and replaced a zipper. Now to finish the costume.
I need a nap.
Have a great and productive day!
I don't blame you for being upset at your mother. I wonder what she did with the lace piece. How many boards are there in all?
ReplyDeleteYour mother pays child support for her son? How did that happen?
I really hate it when I get worked up, righteously angry. It makes me sick as I get older. I hate to replace zippers! That would get me worked up for sure.
As hard as you work, I think I would figure a way to get her to foot the bill for some of the things she wants...how about flour, sugar, and butter she likes to work with? Did you ever think she might be nicer if she could not run over you with the money thing? Of course, I know nothing about her.
Do you hem pants by hand or use a blind stitch on your sewing machine? I can do it on my sewing machine but it, easier with a commercial machine which I don't have.
Mom pays $500.00 a month . We have always had a student rent this room and bath for the last 10 years. We charged the student 400.00 but they supplied their own food. We buy all mom's food. Believe me I lose money on her big time. She was also furious that we expected her to pay this. Like we could just support her.
DeleteDoes your mother contribute to expenses in your household? If not, she needs to do that. If she can support your deadbeat brothers, she can pay for her keep at your house.
ReplyDeleteYes she begrudgingly contributes $500.00. She is not happy about this, but we need to make up the money we always charged for this room. She is only generous with the boys. But remember that she did put many thousands of dollars into my kitchen and I am grateful every day for that.
DeleteI bet the lace piece is with those savings bonds. lolz
ReplyDeleteNot funny really and when I get there I will help you sew and Hubs can help Dh screw(or is that unscrew?)lol
I think they need to invent a senior & hubby day care. You'll be the first client beating down their door.
You are so right that lace is with the savings bonds. I should have known.
DeleteThat is crazy that your mom pays the child support. Let your mom know if she wants to be useful, she could help pay her own way instead of expecting you to support her.
ReplyDeleteShe has always been very tight with us girls. But she did help remodel my awful kitchen. She has always supported the boys, always. I have a 50 year old baby brother that has never purchased a car, he has been given them or they have been purchased by my mother. He has had 5 children none of which he can of r has supported. He loses his license and can't go to work if mom does not pay his child support. I do not want to see my mom pass but I can't wait to see my brothers finally have to face the ugly truth. You have to support yourself.
DeleteWhat is it about mothers favoring their sons? Been there, done that, got the t-shirt -- one of my brothers got the farm - literally! Actually 2 farms when all is said and done!
ReplyDeleteI know I think it is that they are incapable of doing it them selves, where daughters are capable.
DeleteI imagine your mother knows you and your sister are capable women, able to manage your own life(after all she raised you),but somehow the boys are incompetent, and she feels she needs to help them. She dumps on you, because supposedly you are strong and can handle it. I've been down that road myself. I also suspect you are extremely overworked and overly busy. I suggest you keep trying to simplify your life.
ReplyDeleteI am trying to do this but it is hard. When the debt is gone I will be able to do that.
DeleteBless your heart! I could 'feel' the tension with you! That brother will have a rude awakening one day... that's for sure. He had better hope his 5 kids are grown before mom passes away!
ReplyDeleteYeah moms excuse is the kids but I will be able to ignore them.
DeleteI agree, mothers and their sons! I was born last and got the least attention. Oh well. Can you take really deep breaths and count to 10...or to 20 in this case - it will truly calm you with the bonus or stopping you from saying something you may regret later.
ReplyDeleteI am trying, this has gone on too long and will never end.
DeleteI only had sons and to hear them talk I was the hardest ass mom ever. I think if they read these comments they will feel robbed.
ReplyDeleteI am sure your sons are wonderful, my mom just enables men, even my husband whom she hates with a passion. If I get on him she supports him. It is a cross I bear.
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