Tuesday, failing on so many levels.

Did not make dinner as I was in a stupor when Hub's got home.

     Went to the bank to figure out how to pay the rest of August bills for the studio.  I have had to borrow money in the past and pay it back in September many times.  September has enrollment fees that are higher and there is no payroll to take out so it is a good catch up month.  I could have weathered through by calling people and telling them that we would just be late, but that stresses me out and right now I cannot handle any more stress.  Between Mom, my daughter,( a story for another time ) my shop, the bills, I am at overload.  So I decide to take the weight off my shoulders and do a quick 30 day turnaround loan.  My credit report was pulled and I do keep a close eye on this.

     Did you know that I took a $60,000 home equity loan out last month?  That I also have 8 other revolving CC's with huge balances?  Well if you didn't know neither  did I !!!!!  They were shocked, I was shocked and I spent the rest of the day trying to call these companies and get a human on the phone no easy task.  This was all very upsetting.  The funny thing is that even with this mess the bank was still willing to give me a 30 day loan.  What a joke.  Now I get to clean up yet another mess.  It looks like this all is a reporting agency error and not that my identity was stolen.  I mean really anyone that looks at my life should be running in the opposite direction.  It was just very, very upsetting. It will continue to be upsetting.

     Hub's was very nice and supportive about it but the studio does aggravate him in the fact that it was so expensive and I spend so much time worrying and juggling our money to pay the bills.  Hub's took me on a forced march last night for a third night in a row.  He is down under 210 now.  I love his enthusiasm, and I have always been a supporter of his efforts but his expectations of me can be a little rough. I don't want to walk 5 miles every evening right now.  I want to spend time in my shop getting caught up.  Yesterday was a total wash for sewing with the bank fiasco. Today I need to get two wedding dresses done and more steaming and bridesmaid dresses cut out.  I just need time.

     My real feelings are to just crawl in a hole and be left alone.

Kim